I’ve just seen “About time”. (I will not give away the plot much). Ignoring the fact that most families are not super-upper-middle-class affairs where the kids all go to prep school and become lawyers and regularly go and visit their wise and loving parents in their big rambling pads on the Cornish coast, it did make me upset (as it was cynically calculated to do so).... Ok I admit it, I desperately wish I’d been born into that kind of family!
One of the last scenes shows the dad walking down the sand dunes onto the beach with his 8 (ish?) year old son for the last time (u have to see it to know why). The point is it brought back memories that I find difficult. My dad made it very clear that 1) don’t call me daddy and 2) never ever hold my hand. He wasn't a thug, quite the opposite, just a decent working-class bloke who was not prepared to show affection (he could do it other ways, like fixing a bicycle, building a tree house etc, tho these were usually on his own).
So, my question is how many people think it is normal for a father to not want to be called daddy (by a 5 yr old) or hold hands (I assure u I was 5, not 15!), or have a hug, and have as little contact as possible? Because I have always assumed it was me (I was cold or shy or something), and now I am beginning to think he may have been a bit ‘Aspergery’ for want of a better word, but I’m not sure now (this was the 70s). Did anyone else have a dad like this? As an aside, my mum was similar, not a single hug, but I was safe and well fed etc, but never felt confident and 'warm', just safe, which is a lot better than many i suppose.
Basically, I wanted to be the kid in the film with the loving dad holding hands and skimming stones, but perhaps that's just a load of old bollocks from richardcurtisland...
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Relationships
Fathers and sons - cold relationship as child
10 replies
jamie000 · 14/10/2013 15:52
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CMK86 ·
14/10/2013 16:01
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moldingsunbeams ·
15/10/2013 09:46
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16/10/2013 12:20
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