Am I being abused?
Verbal Abuse A wonderfully non-hysterical summary. If you're unsure, read the whole page and see if you're on it.
Emotional abuse from the same site as above
Emotional abuse a more heartfelt description
a check list Use this site for some concise diagnostic lists and support
Signs of Abuse & Control Useful check list
why financial abuse is domestic violenceAre you a free ride for a cocklodger, or supposed to act grateful for every penny you get for running the home?
Women's Aid: "What is Domestic Violence?" This is also, broadly, the Police definition.
20 signs you're with a controlling and/or abusive partner Exactly what it says on the tin
Books :
"Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft - The eye-opener. Read this if you read nothing else.
"The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans ? He wants power OVER you and gets angry when you prove not to be the dream woman who lives only in his head.
"The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?" by Patricia Evans - Answer: Perhaps - ONLY IF he recognises HIS issues, and if you can be arsed to work through it. She gives explicit guidelines.
"Men who hate women and the women who love them" by Susan Forward. The author is a psychotherapist who realised her own marriage was abusive, so she's invested in helping you understand yourself just as much as helping you understand your abusive partner.
"The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing" by Beverley Engels - The principle is sound, if your partner isn't basically an arse, or disordered.
"Codependent No More : How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself" by Melody Beattie - If you a rescuer, you're a co-dependent. It's a form of addiction! This book will help you.
But whatever you do, don't blame yourself for being Co-dependent!
Websites :
So, you're in love with a narcissist - Snarky, witty, angry, but also highly intelligent: very good for catharsis
Dr Irene's verbal abuse site - motherly advice to readers' write-ins from a caring psychotherapist; can be a pain to navigate but very validating stuff
Out of the fog - and now for the science bit! Clinical, dispassionate, and very informative website on the various forms of personality disorders and how they impact on family and intimate relationships.
Get your angries out ? You may not realise it yet, but you ARE angry. Find out in what unhealthy ways your anger is expressing itself. It has probably led you to staying in an unhealthy relationship.
Melanie Tonia Evans is a woman who turned her recovery from abuse into a business. A little bit "woo" and product placement-tastic, but does contain a lot of useful articles.
Love fraud - another site by one woman burned by an abusive marriage
You are not crazy - one woman's experience. She actually has recordings of her and her abusive partner having an argument, so you can hear what verbal abuse sounds like. A pain to navigate, but well worth it.
Baggage reclaim - Part advice column, part blog on the many forms of shitty relationships.
heart to heart a wealth of information and personal experiences drawn together in one place
what couples therapy does for abusers
If you find that he really wants to change
should I stay or should I go bonus materials this is a site containing the material for men who want to change?please don?t give him the link?print out the content for him to work through.
The Bill of Rights
bill of rights here is what you should expect as a starting point for your treatment in a relationship, as you will of course be treating others!!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
support thread for those in emotionally abusive relationships: 20
foolonthehill · 14/04/2013 17:02
Thanks fool, a star as always! Don't think we'd all have been champing at the bit as much without Tis's horrible situation. 
I know she's here in spirit, so .
Onwards and upwards to Number 20!
really gone Bb???? Bertie that's fantastic news! xx
Feels like someone's missing from this thread
Thanks for the thread fool 
Bertie great news.
To tiss FW. if you are reading this you are an appalling excuse for a man. And to his sister i hope what you have read here has made you see your brother the monster he is. now fuck right off.
tis
Thanks for the new thread fool :)
So sorry for tis truly awful situation :(. I hope her fw and sil get whats coming to them. Hope the poor love is OK.
Great news Bertie :)
Nothing to report, just popped on to offer support and 
BB I'm so thrilled for you what fantastic news 
Fool thanks for new thread as always
I miss our mate too, but sending and to her xxxx
So relieved fool you set up a new thread; I was working today but was searching on my phone, feeling very bereft silly me. Ahhh, feel at home now.
Lemon 
but worth it for that lovely cake, no?
night all from pony/yoni towers too, am a-bed already and v tired. Fingers crossed for an overnight alien abduction/personality transplant for all FWs!
And special hugs to our lovely tis. Thinking of you and channeling good vibes your way. Oooooohm. xx
yes, hoping Tis is still lurking and gaining support from the messages here, and will be taking herself off to the meditation room for some chillin and feel good stuff! Sending you ohmmms! xx
Fabulous new Bertie !!!! just fantastic.
Fool
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