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Huffy, illiterate men, scared of peas, it's a weird, weird dating world (No22)

(1000 Posts)
ChaoticismyLife Tue 11-Sep-12 15:10:04

Oh, mentioned flowers grin

Tell us more...

KirstyWirsty Tue 11-Sep-12 15:18:10

Just marking my spot - still on the sofa - as you were smile

ChaoticismyLife Tue 11-Sep-12 15:18:19

I've spent half the morning and some of the afternoon catching up.

sponge you're an intelligent, funny beautiful woman, never forget that.

watch call me cynical but the first thing that went through my mind wrt to Mrl is how he would have got himself home if he hadn't spent the night at yours.

snape I was kind of hoping you'd have the PM thing sorted by now. Maybe, instead of dating, we should be coming up with a machine where you can combine the Prof and PM so you can go live on that island wink

Lueji Tue 11-Sep-12 15:20:56

I bet it's TAFKA Mr L.
The last resort before "the talk".

snapespeare Tue 11-Sep-12 15:28:02


I think if the thread put their mind to it, we could probably come up with some bizarre genetic mutation PM/Prof cross over. I'm all in favour of science when it's for the greater my good.

Yogagirl17 Tue 11-Sep-12 15:34:06

not deleting Mr60s contact info, just not ready to yet

NOW, ABOUT THOSE thanksthanksthanks???

watchoutforthatsnail Tue 11-Sep-12 15:34:39

Yeah, mr l.

Chaotic, hmmm. Good point. Taxi I presume. Didn't ask..... Though he is getting himself here tonight, which is something of an improvement...

hatesponge Tue 11-Sep-12 15:54:40

Watch it's a shame MrL couldnt have put his had in his pocket more when you were dating rather than waiting til now to start buying flowers!

Re the blind date, yes, go for it. I really don't care any more. I am so convinced I can't get beyond 1 date I'll try anything. Doesn't matter how great I think I am- and I do - men just don't. Or actually they do (I've got loads of texts from this latest man telling me how beautiful I am, how besotted he is with me etc- or I did up til he actually met me...)

Lueji Tue 11-Sep-12 15:55:44

Personally, I wouldn't meet him at my home for the goodbye talk, but somewhere close by, public and that I could easily leave.

Or, if you have the DC asleep, just outside the door. Finish the talk, enter the house and close the door behind you.

TBH, you should have said your goodbyes when you last slept together. But, hey.

watchoutforthatsnail Tue 11-Sep-12 16:00:33

Leuji, meh. I fail at life as a grown up sometimes, so shoot me.....

Sponge, you are such a good sport, do you know that?! smile or, how about a my single friend Profile? We could all do you a wicked one.... Might be a different kind of man?

Lueji Tue 11-Sep-12 16:00:34

Sponge, I tend to be cynical and weary of anyone who claims to find me x and y and having feelings before even meeting.

I'd say the first dates and messages are for meeting people. With luck some people will be interesting enough to get to know better.

Please don't get drawn in by all the empty compliments.

Lueji Tue 11-Sep-12 16:03:49

I'm actually worried you'll shoot yourself on the foot, rather.

And this time with plenty of warning.

Just remember the reasons you decided to dump him.

But then, I keep worrying I might be shooting myself too. wink
Oh, well.

ChaoticismyLife Tue 11-Sep-12 16:12:50

Leuji, meh. I fail at life as a grown up sometimes, so shoot me.....

Don't we all... grin

Just keep in mind the nasty comment he made about your DD and the failure that was the camping trip.

I've disabled my OKC profile, I only set it up to have a nosy look at snape's profile anyway.

Ds is job hunting, DD is at uni and I'm considerably poorer so won't be going on any dates anyway.

OhWesternWind Tue 11-Sep-12 16:18:41

Okay, I have (temporarily - who knows?) come to an end with my Match membership. Still on PoF but it really is a bit dire on there. Finding it really hard to find anyone with any possibilities! Does anyone have any recommendations for good free/cheap sites?

Might resurrect Match if I get desperate as it does seem better than PoF.

hatesponge Tue 11-Sep-12 16:24:58

watch I'm not a good sport really I'm just a bit desperate smile

Thing about what they say before dates is I expect it blush. When he said he was besotted with me, my thought wasn't 'really? you nutter' but 'of course you are - you should be'blush

Feel free to do your worst- I'd offer to turn my OKC profile over to you all to message people on my behalf but as I get next to no interest on there its probably not worthwhile.

Still nothing from Mr Saturday by the way. I'm tempted to text him and say he MUST be worse as his cold is clearly preventing him from using his phone...if I wasnt utterly convinced that such sarcasm would be wholly wasted!

lubeybooby Tue 11-Sep-12 16:25:05

Oh new thread! Hello all

Watch woooah I must have missed loads here!! shock how come you haven't dumped that knobber? confused has he suddenly become a capable adult who has stopped cocklodging and doesn't insult small children? wink

Scattylatte Tue 11-Sep-12 16:26:34

Good luck, if luck is the correct word watch

Sponge: texting irriates me especially pre date texts. Although I love texts from my friends. I see it as an intrusion. I am hopeless at dating. I dont even get a date and the last 2 who phoned for a chat me didnt phone back. And its not even that I said much on the phone as the lines werent good. I dont think I have a bad voice but now Im paranoid that I have a dreadful phonation.
I think its a huge testimony to you that you actually go on dates and give some of your time to these men. I bet none of them have achieved from life what you have.
A man messaged me on POF today saying he had seen I used to be set to IE (as the experiement). I asked him why he hadnt sent me a message and he said he was going to but then went on holiday..then he had an interview.. and I dropped off his radar. So, it wasnt me...wasnt how I was his circumstances. And this is what I think happens to all of us. The general timing is wrong and because we dont know what else is happening, we blame our own shortcomings.
Men are very (quite) keen to contact and communicate with me, send me phone numbers and tell me their little stories....but they are not so much in need to see me.
So I am treating it like a business. No emotions...just send replies and see what happens.
Durkan here I come. I love bread but its the food of the devil..thanks Snape

TimeForMeAndDD Tue 11-Sep-12 16:37:24

Hi everyone smile Marking my place. I'm still on the sofa but am keeping an eye on you all lurking. MrCandle text me at the weekend, I'm gorgeous, he can't get me out of his head, he can't stop thinking about me, we would be good together, can he have another chance. "NO" I replied. The End.

Yogagirl17 Tue 11-Sep-12 16:56:43

Ha ha good for you Time!!

I'm getting xxx's now from Coffee Man (which i like even though I know it's meaningless and superficial from someone you haven't yet met). Helps to distract me from Mr60 anyway.

Good Luck watch, hope your talk goes well. x

NicholasTeakozy Tue 11-Sep-12 17:17:05

Good for you Time, the guy's an idiot.

Sponge, you do hold the power, you just don't realise it yet. After a date, if he says he wants to see you again, and the feeling is mutual, take control. Get a day out of him. Or suggest a day to him.

Watch, good luck with The Talk tonight.

SweetSeraphim Tue 11-Sep-12 17:26:26

Good luck for tonight watch. Don't shag him! grin

Lueji Tue 11-Sep-12 17:27:41

Or shag, then dump.


Just don't forget the dumping!

hatesponge Tue 11-Sep-12 18:50:48

Nicholas the only power I have is to dump men who in effect have already dumped me, that's meaningless.

And I do arrange second dates all the time. Dates, times, etc. They just never happen, because said men never really want to see me again. Either they get what they want from me on Date 1, or they decide they can do without, because not one ever comes back for Date 2.

hatesponge Tue 11-Sep-12 19:05:43

I text the man from Saturday and asked if he was better, and was I seeing him this weekend?

Reply was that he feels like shit. and that he has his daughter this weekend.

I suspect he couldn't make it more clear I'm wasting my time if he sent me a text telling me to Fuck off.


fayster Tue 11-Sep-12 19:20:07

Sponge, I really want to offer some sage advice, but I don't know enough about your dating habits to be able to. I'm also rubbish at dating, so I'd probably only give bad advice. However, I'm also rubbish at keeping my nose out of places it isn't wanted, so here's my tuppence worthgrin

Do you have more luck with men you meet in real life? My instinct with OL dating is to say that you should start at the beginning- look at your profile and the people you reply to, and then at the persona you represent in those replies. Is there a mismatch between that persona and the you they meet in person?

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