Moral dilemma

(281 Posts)
PLNB31 Wed 24-Jun-20 08:22:13

Hi just wanted a little advise, I have my house on the market as currently (been up for around 2weeks) looking for a bigger house for myself, husband and 4young boys . We are signed up to Rightmove, we want to stay in the current area we are in as our kids are settled in school. 3 days ago a property came up on Rightmove(added that day), My sister put the property on a family group chat and said she was going to see it, straight away I said I wanted to view that property also. My sister is very unhappy I said this and didn’t think I should view it as she was. We have now both viewed the property and both want to put in offers. My sister thinks I should be stepping back and not putting an offer in as she said she liked it first? Should I be putting my sisters opinion before doing what’s right for my family? Am I a bad person for putting an offer In?

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Toilenstripes Wed 24-Jun-20 08:26:37

I would say she saw it first and indicated her interest, so you should back away. It sucks, but it’s not worth the bad feelings.

Medievalist Wed 24-Jun-20 08:29:39

As your sister saw it and announced her intentions to view before you then I think you should back off. If family matters to you that is.

DomDoesWotHeWants Wed 24-Jun-20 08:35:02

She saw it first and said so. You should back off or risk a huge rift in the family.

Janus Wed 24-Jun-20 08:36:35

I think I’d probably walk away too, is it worth having bricks but potentially ruining your relationship with your sister? Ideally you’d both agree to walk away I suppose!

Karcheer Wed 24-Jun-20 08:40:03

You should let you sister have it, and be happy that she found a lovely house. Your house is out there somewhere :0)

Smallgoon Wed 24-Jun-20 08:40:16

I'd be annoyed if I was your sister too... Though it is unfair if you both got the notification, and that she was the first to 'officially' notify of her intention to view.

Do other properties not come up for sale in your area?


RedRed9 Wed 24-Jun-20 08:41:07

Why wouldn’t you step away?

PLNB31 Wed 24-Jun-20 08:43:02

I’m just concerned I am now setting a president that I will roll over, considering her house hadn’t even been valued or she hadn’t mentioned moving until now. What happens if we both see another house that we both like have I got to make her aware that I am viewing it, before her?

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Disfordarkchocolate Wed 24-Jun-20 08:43:31

She was daft putting it on the group chat but I'd leave her to it and keep looking. It is not the only house that will suit your needs.

PLNB31 Wed 24-Jun-20 08:44:24

@Smallgoon no properties in our area are very few and far between as the school in the area is excellent

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alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 Wed 24-Jun-20 08:45:02

Well if you see a house you like you tell your sister, and she should step away too. Also, the word you are looking for is precedent.

Smallgoon Wed 24-Jun-20 08:46:18

I’m just concerned I am now setting a president that I will roll over, considering her house hadn’t even been valued or she hadn’t mentioned moving until now. What happens if we both see another house that we both like have I got to make her aware that I am viewing it, before her?

I think this is a fair point. If she hadn't mentioned moving, and her property isn't on the market, I would probably go ahead and view. Depends on the how big the potential of a fall-out between the two of you is.

SavoyCabbage Wed 24-Jun-20 08:47:06

This isn’t about another mythical house, it’s about this house.

RedRed9 Wed 24-Jun-20 08:47:59

@Smallgoon they’ve both already viewed. They now both want to put offers in.

Svalberg Wed 24-Jun-20 08:48:26

Neither of you seem to be in a position to proceed so as a seller, I'd take both your offers with a pinch of salt!

HoppyHop Wed 24-Jun-20 08:54:18

Her house isn't even on the market and yours hasn't got a buyer yet so neither of you are in a position to proceed. I'm surprised the sellers would accept either offer.
The risk here is that you both lose out to someone who's chain free/already sold so it may become a mute point if the area is highly sought after.
If it was my sister I would step back if the seller is happy to accept their offer. No property is worth creating a feud over. (That said, I would explain to her that this only happens once and if it falls through any other properties are fair game irrespective of who claimed it first, set the ground rules!).

PLNB31 Wed 24-Jun-20 08:56:33

@Svalberg - I’m not talking about the seller, the seller can choose to accept any offer they so wish. I’m asking advice on whether it’s right that my sister expects me to back off from a house which she also likes, and whether I now have to express my interests in a house in the future

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Lougle Wed 24-Jun-20 08:58:01

Your sister was naive in posting on the group chat before viewing and you would be unkind to take advantage of that, imo.

PLNB31 Wed 24-Jun-20 08:58:42

@HoppyHop mine has 2 offers

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Medievalist Wed 24-Jun-20 08:58:49

When we bought last year our seller would only accept our offer once we had a buyer. Could you agree that you will both register your interest in the property perhaps and then it's down to whichever one of you finds a buyer first? And hope someone in a better position than either of you doesn't snap it up in the meantime!

Medievalist Wed 24-Jun-20 09:01:12

X post - I see you have 2 offers. Are they serious ones?

If so, I think I've changed my mind and would be persuading dsis that if you pull out there's no guarantee that she would get the house if she's not in a position yet to have her offer accepted.

PLNB31 Wed 24-Jun-20 09:05:54

I feel like I am stuck in the middle my husband loves the house, My sister loves the house. She thinks she saw it first, my husband says just cus she put it on the family chat does not mean she is anymore entitled to view than we are. I wasn’t aware that we had to put properties we liked on the group chat to be honest 🙈

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PLNB31 Wed 24-Jun-20 09:06:51

@Medievalist they are both proceedable good offers

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ComeBy Wed 24-Jun-20 09:06:53

Her offer will be rejected as she has not even marketed her house.

So tell her to make an offer and fair dos, if it is accepted, let her crack on but say if she can’t buy it, you will. And when it is rejected, make your own offer.

But you both need to see this whole thing as a business transaction. The vendor will sell to the buyer they think is the best prospect. You both need to be philosophical about that.

Is the house in with the same EA you are selling through? Are you registered with the EA selling the house you like?

If it is the same EA they will know you are in a position to proceed.

I would keep quiet, put in an offer the day after your sister does.

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