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who should educate your child state or you ?

(115 Posts)
Isdore Mon 11-Feb-19 12:48:54

I am worried about something and i would like us parent to take action against this trend of eroding parental responsibility. I feel the state wants to take away of our role has parents.

i have 3yr old (to young yet !) i am very worried about this !! sad sad

Please don't take the guidlines at face value-ask your school what content they are using

we need to write our MPs : stoprse.com/index.php/contact-your-local-mp/

They going to expose our children to sexualise content at the age of 3 on wards. They will decide(guidelines) this in the next 2 months

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/235053 - please share this

Currently (January 2019) a subject known as Sex & Relationship Education (SRE) is taught in some UK schools; it is not compulsory and parents can withdraw their children.

However, the law is changing ….

• From 1st September, 2020 Relationship Education will be taught as compulsory in all primary schools across England (from Reception Class upwards).

• From 1st September, 2020 Relationship & Sex Education (RSE) will be taught as compulsory across all secondary schools across England.

• The government has produced draft guidelines (July 2018) on what must be taught but these are currently vague and minimal. However, they do state that L_G+B+T+ issues must be taught to all children and recommend that these issues are taught across the entire school curriculum. We are currently awaiting the finalised guidelines which should be produced in Spring 2019.

• Schools must develop their own Relationship Ed/RSE policy and curriculum and are free to determine how to teach Relationship Ed/RSE issues. Schools are free to choose whichever Relationship Ed/RSE resources they decide upon; however, the guidelines state these must be ‘age-appropriate’ and sensitive to the needs of the pupils.

• The draft guidelines clearly state that schools must work and consult with parents on the development of the Relationship Ed/RSE policy and the curriculum it uses.

I have also heard rumours that they are going after home schooling under the pretext of "boogy monster topics you see in news"! its unacceptable.

Has a catholic and parent we should have the rights and freedom to choose whats best for our children not the state or the lobby groups!

We believe it is the parent’s fundamental right to teach their child RSE topics or to at least decide who teaches them and when and how they are taught. We want the right to opt our children out of RSE when it becomes mandatory in Sept 2020.

More details
We have grave concerns about the physical, psychological and spiritual implications of teaching children about certain sexual and relational concepts proposed in RSE and believe that they have no place within a mandatory school curriculum.

We believe the above factors have not been given enough consideration and that many of the RSE resources being produced by lobby groups and external organisations will actually cause more harm than good, particularly when child development and psychological factors are considered.

BertrandRussell Mon 11-Feb-19 13:01:55

If you won’t educate your children about these important issues, the state has to. Simple.

Queenfreak Mon 11-Feb-19 13:01:56

I've read the government's response, and completely agree with their proposal.
(Which genuinely surprises me!)
They state you can still ask to have your child withdrawn, so I don't see the issue?
The curriculum isn't just about the physical act of sex, it's also about appropriate relationships (respect, consent, etc) and more.
I think I'm right in saying primary schools discuss things like the 'pants' rule now- how is this any different?
I'm genuinely not seeing the issue.

Isdore Mon 11-Feb-19 13:14:37

They will allow you to remove child from sex education but not the relationship aspect

"whether to request that their child is withdrawn from sex education."

Please do your research

Based on my Catholic beliefs i don't want my child to learn this from 3years . Secondary school is more appropriate (BertrandRussell ) so your point is valid but not at primary level.

SittingAround1 Mon 11-Feb-19 13:17:28

What don't you want your child learning from 3 years? I'm sure it'll be age appropriate.
It seems they'll be learning about relationships not sex. I imagine they'll leave the contraception talk until they're teenagers.

BertrandRussell Mon 11-Feb-19 13:18:34

“Based on my Catholic beliefs i don't want my child to learn this from 3years . Secondary school is more appropriate ”

Tough. Kids need facts and information. If you want to keep your children ignorant, then someone else has to step in to stop that.

YouBumder Mon 11-Feb-19 13:19:09

If you can withdraw your child from the sex ed aspect, what’s your problem?

Raspberry88 Mon 11-Feb-19 13:20:27

Secondary school is waaaaay too late!

whatswithtodaytoday Mon 11-Feb-19 13:22:10

Wouldn't you rather your children knew the facts from a reliable source? Leaving it until secondary school guarantees they'll hear all sorts of stuff in the playground and won't know what's true.

What is it exactly you object to them knowing? They're not going to be taught about how sex works at three, it'll be age appropriate.

Hedgehogblues Mon 11-Feb-19 13:23:00

The younger children are when we start teaching them about consent, healthy relationships, and bodily autonomy the better.

spinabifidamom Mon 11-Feb-19 13:25:52

We are a homeschooling family.
Part of my time is spent discussing what happens to our bodies as part of our science lessons. I also plan to start discussions on mental health, sex and finance too. You are not capable of seeing the bigger picture here. Why are you making a big deal out of something so important?
It’s about time we started talking about mental health issues and other controversial subjects including this one. I’ve briefly read the governmental policy and I completely agree with all of it. It’s all about busting myths and telling the truth.

Shinyletsbebadguys Mon 11-Feb-19 13:35:47

I assume you have peer reviewed evidence based research that teaching children these issues will negatively impact their psychological health ? Nope ? There's a shocker

If you believe teaching children the concepts of consent and bodily autonomy is sexualising them then that says far more about you than I suspect you wish

If there is a single piece of learning that can help children be able to be confident and safe in their knowledge around sex and relationships your rights as a parent are so so less important than their safety it's a no brainer

I respect religious freedom and the choice not to access sex ed but I will never respect a parent who is more concerned with their own right to choose than their child's where safety is concerned

When you can show evidence of real negative affect on young people then I will listen...until then please don't assume other parents have the same views

I'd be more tempted to write to the MP encouraging this line of learning

Iamnobirdandnonetensnaresme Mon 11-Feb-19 13:39:29

Based on my catholic beliefs I want my child to be happy and confident in what a health relationship looks like.
I had discussions with my children from very early about my body, my husbands body and their bodies. All appropriate and all vital.
I'm still shocked by parents who don't talk to their children about anything.
In year5 we had issues with children teasing each other about having 'sex'- turns out they thought it was a type of cuddling- I asked my Dd about it and she said'I knew they were wrong mummy but you told me not to talk to my friends about it because it was up to their parents to talk about with them so I didn't correct them'

TheJobNeverEnded Mon 11-Feb-19 13:49:12

Relationships are also friendships and children have to learn to navigate the complexities of what is an actual friend. Just because you like someone doesn't mean they treat you well, if they push you over in the playground repeatedly, that is not a good friend.

Plus as my sister is a lesbian and married to another lesbian (they have
a child together,) I would like that relationship acknowledged, which it actually is on a poster in year 6 of a primary school I volunteer in. It says things like, Mum plus girlfriend is love, and Dad plus girlfriend is love, Mum plus Dad is love.

As someone who attended a strict catholic school I am sure both my sister and I can see how wonderful it would have been for her to have felt accepted within our faith.

As you haven't even got a child at school yet maybe you should stash your pitchfork until you have seen the things they teach including a sex education video they see in year 6.

They don't do this behind your back as a parent.

And schools do need to step in when a parent fails to tell their child something fundamental as what is a good relationship, especially if they are witnessing domestic violence at home.

Maybe watch the BBC2 program about children of DV still on iplayer to hear a girl say she didn't know it wasn't normal just before her Mum was killed.

MeetJoeTurquoise Mon 11-Feb-19 13:50:22

The world has changed, we live in a digital age. Children need to understand about relationships and consent long before secondary school when they will have access to more digital data. We need to be teaching and preparing our children for the world we live in now.

Iggly Mon 11-Feb-19 13:52:53

Given that many religious institutions have hidden sexual abuse of children, relying on fear and ignorance, I think it’s important for children to be taught these things.

MrsJayy Mon 11-Feb-19 13:57:00

We have had this on the scottish cirriculum (sp) for years although we don't have reception here but from nursery children are taught about relationships friendships families consent etc etc this is nothing to do with being told about sexual intercourse at 3 years old surely your catholic beliefs allows teaching about friendships and the like?

TeenTimesTwo Mon 11-Feb-19 14:01:07

The only issue I would have is if they start incorrectly teaching that people can change sex. Other than that I think the state need to teach children as otherwise many parents don't teach them enough to keep them safe or understand other view points.

MrsJayy Mon 11-Feb-19 14:09:34

I meant to add if you plan on sending your child to a faith school they would share some of your beliefs and you could approach the school about your concerns.

FuzzyShadowChatter Mon 11-Feb-19 14:09:44

Another home educator and I think body and relationship education should be a significant part in kids' education both in the home and in whatever education setting. All the research I've seen shows good relationships and good social skills are vital to our well-being and having solid knowledge about expectations and concerns within relationships - platonic, romantic, or any other - and in knowledge about sex is usually helpful in promoting more of an attitude of personal and social responsibility which I think is a good thing.

Part of me has concerns that this is getting heaped onto already very full plates that teachers' already have and about resources as I've gone through a lot of recommended resources for kids, teens, parents and teachers and there is still a lot of misinformation I find even about some pretty basic things. One example I see a lot is the clitoris still being referred to as a nub or pea-sized which would be like discussing the penis just by the tip or any other body parts just by what is externally visible (this might be my pet peeve but it's just wrong). I don't think it will ever be perfect, but a reprioritizing rather than constant piling on of things schools are required to do would be nice -- and I would have this, and the building of better resources for it, be a top priority.

notanothernam Mon 11-Feb-19 14:11:41

Have you seen Carrie?

Jinglejanglefish Mon 11-Feb-19 14:12:15

I absolutely will not share or sign that petition, I don’t agree in the slightest.

MrsJayy Mon 11-Feb-19 14:15:58

Have you seen Carrie?

Oh might have lold at this grin

goldengummybear Mon 11-Feb-19 14:17:39

They don't teach 3 year olds about blowjobs and anal sex. If it's the current curriculum then it starts off as self care (the importance of washing hands etc) for the young years and builds up to periods and sex in y5/6. I personally think that periods should be earlier considering that girls go through puberty as young as 8.

Isdore Mon 11-Feb-19 15:20:47

I think your missing the point and its not about sexual relationships i am worried about.

its gender change and explicit talks about sexuality

Ian Mearns, Labour MP for Gateshead, raised the concerns of Strictly Orthodox parents about the teaching of relationships and sex education.

Highlighting particular worries about the teaching of LGBT issues in primary schools, he quoted one parental view: “I don’t want my child learning about transgender at an age when they still believe in the tooth fairy.”

Mrs Spielman acknowledged that children were expected to learn about LGBT issues, stating: “The expectation is, in an age appropriate way, that children should be aware of the protected characteristics”.

Protected characteristics refer to groups protected under the Equality Act and include same-sex orientation and gender reassignment.

Mr Mearns also asked whether “the teaching of LGBT will be considered a required element of religious education but heterosexual relationships will be part of sex education. And that will mean, as the case today, parents will have the right to opt a child out of a lesson regarding heterosexual relationships, but not the LGBT element within primary schools?”

While Mrs Spielman did not answer it directly, she emphasised it was equality law and guidance from the Department for Education that determined what schools should do - not Ofsted.

So its okay for one aspect not another ??

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