Probably jumping to conclusions and DC3 doesn't allow me much sleep at night, so I do get touchy about things.
DC2 is in reception at DC1's former school (DC1 now in secondary). I have known this school and its environs for years and we really were delighted to get a place there for DC2 (since we now officially live outside the catchment area and parish). I know the head very well, the teachers, etc.
DC2's reception teacher is one I haven't known from the past and in a way, it's been nice to have a new experience and a new face within a well-known environment.
DC2 has been happy at school up until the month leading up to Christmas, which I had put down to fatigue. I have come to learn through talks with her and observations at a play date and a birthday party that she is very dominated by an overbearing little buddy. They're very young and learning social boundaries, so I have left this to resolve itself. I like the 'overbearing' friend's mother very much, but the child is incredibly indulged and rules the roost. She is actually a nice child but can turn on a dime and go into a white rage, shouting right up in my DC2's face.
DC2 has been crying a lot at school. It's all come to a head and the teacher called me in for a meeting, especially since every day this past week, I've had to say goodbye to a tearful, frightened child who is too afraid to see her friend and wants to change schools. It's escalated and I don't think it will right itself on its own at this point. I was happy that the teacher rang me for a meeting. I was thinking of making an appointment anyway.
Teacher claimed that she had observed my DC and her friend and that actually, she could see absolutely no reason why my DC was afraid. She went on to praise the friend to high heaven. If I were her mother, I'd have been chuffed. But I'm not her mother and there wasn't much 'support' of my child's loss of confidence and increased fear of this friend. :-/ I suddenly felt in the wrong. The teacher seemed concerned that my child's rejection of this friend would ruin the other little girl's confidence. But then, my DC is the one who is literally afraid of everything and needs every ounce of encouragement to go into the classroom. She goes to school crying and mumbling about her angst the entire walk to school, then comes out looking so deflated every afternoon whereas she used to come bounding out.
I heard what the teacher said and took it on board. But then became upset when my daughter cried and said she didn't want to go to a birthday party today because her 'friend' will be there and scare her and make angry faces and push her. Teacher said that DC2 needs to get used to the fact that kids make angry faces. She needs a backbone and to grow a pair basically.
I really don't know how to help my daughter and I don't know how to alleviate her fears. I don't feel comfortable talking with the teacher again. She's made her observations and she made it pretty clear that she feels my DC is exaggerating and seeking attention. But the tears roll fast and steadily. She becomes panicky at the thought of seeing this friend and wants to avoid her at all costs. It seems unlikely that this is just attention seeking behaviour. Has anyone been through a similar situation?
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In all honesty, what would prompt you to move primary schools?
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dorasee · 10/01/2015 08:40
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