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Pregnancy After Miscarriage Part IV------Welcome to Knicker Checker's Anonymous

(1001 Posts)
lackaDAISYcal Thu 05-Jun-08 22:37:51

Ooops, the thread filling up sneaked up on us didn't it!

Can't see another one yet...so here we are smile

Tryingnotot...that is fantastic news grin. I hope you can enjoy your weekend in Barcelona. I heart Barcelona and am v envy

justjules Thu 05-Jun-08 22:40:16

hiya daisy smile

you ok?

i am a bit sad

not sure why,

fed up but know i should not say that...

kd73 Fri 06-Jun-08 07:14:08

Just jules, sorry you are feeling fed up... not long to go before you meet Missy - how exciting grin. Hope you feel better today.

I had a scan on Wednesday - got to 11 +4. Obviously really pleased, not so chuffed that my half my wardrobe is getting tight though blush

LittleSquirt Fri 06-Jun-08 09:33:05

Hi everyone

After being on a MMC in July last year and being on a TTC for about a year, I finally got a BFP on 11th May and I know taking the plunge and joining some antenatal and pregnancy threads

I am a total nervous wreck, is this normal? I had an early scan 3 days ago (saw bean, heart beating fast and strong, perfect measurement for dates) and yet I am already thinking that it might have all gone wrong since already!

It doesn't really help that I had about a week of really bad morning sickness (at 6 weeks) and it seems to have gone now! What is going on? I saw bean 2 days after the MS had gone and everything seemed fine but I am still worried.

I was so pessimistic about this pregnancy that I haven't even told my GP yet (my scan on Tuesday was done privately) but I have now made an appointment for 5pm this afternoon. I hope that once I have made contact with the Midwife at my surgery, she will let me know another scan in a couple of weeks if I still feel really scared and worried. My 12-week scan is likely to be the first week of July and that seems like decades away!!

Anyway, sorry my first post on this thread is such a rant girls. Thank you for listening!

LittleSquirt Fri 06-Jun-08 09:33:36

I meant after "having" a MMC in July last year!!!! Doh! blush

LittleSquirt Fri 06-Jun-08 09:38:27

I really should have read what I wrote before posting it! I hope it makes some sense as there are so many mistakes in there! Sorry! grin

iliketosleep Fri 06-Jun-08 10:53:03

hi littlesquirt and congratulations!! grin

Dont worry about ranting thats what the threads for, we have all been there and have all had exactly the same thoughts. Unfortunatly m/c taints the joy of a healthy pregnancy

Im nearly 30 weeks and I STILL check the toilet paper after i have been to the loo blush

As for sickness suddenly going, that doesnt mean alot tbh as pgs are so unpredictable!

Do what i do, if in doubt sit on your bum all day watching tele and eatting chocolate, always works wink

LittleSquirt Fri 06-Jun-08 11:17:04

Thanks iliketosleep, I remember you from the TTC thread too, it is so wonderful to hear that you are 30 weeks already!

I guess it is a bit different for me because I had a Missed MC, so I never actually bled (I went for a 9-week early scan and there was no bean to see, which was a massive shock sad). So I am not actually knicker-checking but it means that I am a nervous wreck when it comes to scans! I was physically shaking at my scan on Tuesday but the woman who did it was very sweet and patient with me which really helped. I know I will feel like this at most scans I will need to have though, I just can't help it.

But at least now I have a little picture of my bean that I can keep looking at, it really helps!

When is your actual EDD iliketosleep? Not long for you to go now! How exciting!!! Is this your first?

lackaDAISYcal Fri 06-Jun-08 11:29:03

missed you last night jules, I started the thread and then went off to bed.

Hope you are feeling brighter this morning. You're allowed to feel fed up at this stage you know......so put those guilty feelings away and spoil yourself for a bit, heaven knows it'll be the last time for a while smile

Welcome to the thread LittleSquirt and congratulations. You are perfectly normal feeling the way you are. We've all been there, some still in the middle of it so we can all empathise with you. Feel free to rant away as well; again we've all been there done it, and are happy to listen. Try not to worry about the MS going. Symptoms usually lessen once the placenta starts to take over from the ovaries at producing all the relevant hormones, for me that has varied between 11 and 14 weeks. Be prepared for it to come back with a vengeance just when you think you feel better.....it has a habit of being sneaky like that grin

KD..that's fantastic news...long may yur clothes get tighter smile

We're fine here; feeling more kicks every day and starting to feel more human. Still dog tired all the time, but DH says I toss and turn all night so I'm ovbiously not getting a proper rest. I should take advantage of DD's nap and get some sleep myself, but the lure of MN is stronger!!!

Got loads to do to get the house ready for DDs big party on Sunday. We are having 17 adults and 12 kids for a BBQ. Thankfully that means DH will be doing the cooking, and if I get all the prep done before everyone arrives, I can sit and relax and enjoy the day smile.

I need to ask a FB question.....someone with the intials EB who lives abroad is on my friends list, and I'm sure you are from this thread. Pics recently posted of baby...but I can't think who you are in MN terms blush....blame my pregnant brain!!! Baby pics are divine though smile

lackaDAISYcal Fri 06-Jun-08 11:30:13

lol iliketosleep......another vote for chocolate and telly here wink

justjules Fri 06-Jun-08 11:37:56

morning,

daisy you on msn? wanted to ask you a few things,

ilts 30 weeks [bloody hell emotion] grin

kd fabbo fabbo lady smile

ls welcome, i remember you too, all madness is totally normal...

lackaDAISYcal Fri 06-Jun-08 11:41:03

I'm not jules...but I am on FB.....there is a group called June 07 mummies; initials are JJ and I'm ice skating in the photo if you want to try and find me.....

or email is daisybump at yahoo dot co dot uk I think you can do a search using e-mail address.

smile

cricri Fri 06-Jun-08 11:43:39

Littlesquirt Congratulations on your pregnancy and welcome to the thread smile
I had a mmc last year and I know exactly what you're going through. I had an early scan with this pg and I was really nervous but fortunately everything was fine. However, I didn't really relax until after the 12 week scan and until then I didn't allow myself to take on board the fact that I was actually having a baby. Fortunately I've felt more relaxed since then (although I'm getting nervous again in the run-up to the 20-week scan in 2 weeks' time so it clearly never stops!).
Having suffered ms with the mmc pg I didn't really consider that a reliable indicator tbh. I focused on my early scan picture and the fact that we'd seen the hb. Jules will confirm the stats, but I think once you've seen the hb you have a 95% chance of a successful pg. Coming on here and sharing my fears helped too so feel free to rant as much as you like, that's what we're here for grin
Jules Hope you're feeling brighter today. Hang in there - the end is in sight and soon you'll be cuddling Missy in your arms smile
Daisy I'm not sleeping well either and feel absolutely shattered! I didn't even feel this tired right at the beginning. So much for the boundless energy of the 2nd trimester hmm
Trying So pleased about your scan results. Relax and enjoy your weekend away now!
Hello to everybody else smile

justjules Fri 06-Jun-08 11:44:41

will mail you later,

i got some stuff from the ma today and they are having a meeting in wakefield and the head honcho of leeds hospital pg and mc bit it talking,

and they are launching an e mail patient line thing were you can leave comments/complains about treatment in various hospitals,

anyways smile

justjules Fri 06-Jun-08 11:51:37

morning cricri smile

i am still fed up actually,

i could just cry all day long if i thought about it too much,

probabally hormones hmm

i started pg yoga this week and well it made me sad, god knows...

i so wanted a hippy natural birth and now it is going to be all medical and well,

what if i cant bond [scared emotion]

i feel like i never really come to terms with my losses and i am sick of holding it together,

this pg has been like an out of body experience iykwim, i still find it very very odd,

did a hosptial tour last night WTF...

me in the hospital... looking at the labour wards...

and it was the hospital were i had my 3 m/c so that made me sad, and my tiny ds was in the morgue there for weeks, and i had to scream and shout for testing there, and i had my methotraxate treatment there...

RANT RANT

iliketosleep Fri 06-Jun-08 12:33:28

aw jules

I sure you will perk up soon and its natural to wobble this close to a birth, but try not to be sad as missy will sense it and all we need is 2 sad julses grin

littlesquirt i am due the 17th august, the day before dd2s birthday....handy hmm it wasn't enough that ds is 26th august or that dp is 7th of august or EVEN that dd1 is 27th of july......so glad im going on holiday in 10 days, i need a rest before all that starts!!

My brothers girlfriend was due yesterday but nothing as of yet, how inconsiderate, i wanna see the baby!!!!!!!!!

iliketosleep Fri 06-Jun-08 12:34:47

oooooooooh i get my new pram tomorrow im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited!! its a silvercross, ill try find a picture!!

iliketosleep Fri 06-Jun-08 12:42:22

silvercross sleepover deluxe

cricri Fri 06-Jun-08 13:03:06

Jules Sorry you're still feeling down. It must have been very hard going back to a hospital which holds so many bad memories for you and the prospect of giving birth there must be upsetting too. It must also be hard to come to terms with the fact that you're not going to have the birth you wanted, but all that matters is that you and Missy will be safe. I think all mothers have fears about bonding, regardless of the type of birth. As ILTS says, it's normal to feel a bit wobbly this close to the birth. I'm sure everything will be fine [reassuring emoticon] Keep focusing on that baby and (((hugs))) to you.
ILTS What a gorgeous pram!

LittleSquirt Fri 06-Jun-08 13:15:57

Ok, I am clearly still pregnant and full of hormones because your lovely welcoming and warm messages just made me cry! Thank you so much!

Cricri and Jules - I do remember you both too! This is like finding new friends again, it is wonderful! Jules - I am sorry you are feeling so rubbish though

iliketosleep - the pram is beautiful, how exciting for you!

07mumstheword Fri 06-Jun-08 14:07:59

Found you all, that old thread did fill up and disappear fast, thanks Daisy for starting another.

Littlesquirt As the others have said what you are feeling is completely natural. I'm 20 wks and still worry. I have my scan on Tuesday and have a mixture of nerves and excitment.

Jules Sorry to hear you are feeling sad

Hello to everyone else grin

ronshar Fri 06-Jun-08 14:39:57

Jules I thought that maybe I was a horrible, selfish, ungrateful cow. Ooops not that I am calling you that. Bugger. But you have reassured me that it isnt just me feeling the strain.

I have been feeling increasingly worried that I am not going to like this baby. I have wanted this pregnancy so much. The pain of MC's doesnt go away. But I have felt so crap since the beginning of this pregnancy, which I never had with DD's. I am currently sitting here unable to breath properly through the snot. My throat really hurts and I feel so tired because I cant sleep! I have to have a pillow between my knees to be comfortable in bed. I am only 23 weeks. How bad will I be in 10 weeks time.

What happens if I am so pissed off with being pregnant that when my little miracle arrives I am not that bothered. What if the relief is more than my love?
I am feeling really sorry for myself today. Sorry everyone.

Welcome to all the newly pregnant girls. Dont worry I am normally much more fungrin

justjules Fri 06-Jun-08 15:10:06

What if the relief is more than my love...

that is EXACTLY it ronny sad

goingfor3 Fri 06-Jun-08 15:19:24

ronshar and justjules ,

I really feel for you two ladies. I was so stressed during my pregnancy, so worried that I would mc or have a premature baby. The last few weeks of my pregnancy were also physically very tough as I was exhausted. I also worried that I wouldn't bond with my very much wanted baby.
The moment I gave birth to him I felt so peaceful and content and a huge sense of relief that it was all over and I finally met my baby. I did fall in love with him straight away and felt that though I had had a tough time with my mc's and pregnancy he was worth it all (though obviously I would have prefered not to have gone through any of it), this also made me feel gulity but I think however I felt I would have felt guilty about something or another. At least having this thread you are not alone.

lackaDAISYcal Fri 06-Jun-08 15:46:24

{{{{{hugs}}}}}} to both jules and ronshar.

jules, I had a bloody awful pregnancy with DD, suffering from AND and going on ADs at about 36 weeks. I had similar feelings about not bonding and worried myself sick about it. I'd also foregone any Down's testing and was very worried, to the point of obsession, about her having Down's. Being perfectly honest about it, my first thought when she was born was that she looked a bit funny, and I kept going on to DH about Down's. He eventually asked for someone to come and check her out. It wasn't till they confirmed that she was fine that I started to relax. The bonding definately wasn't instant the way it had been with DS, and it took a few days before I had that overwhelming rush of love for her. Being in the hospital recovering from the section gave us the time to bond and be together alone and I think that made all the difference. I was in an amenity room as well which I think helped. I do think that my previous pregnancies and the stresses of that one coloured my first few days with her. The hospital were great though. I told them how anxious I was about it and they did their level best to make sure I got the very best care and they pushed to get my appointment for the neo-natal psych team brought forward.

so, anyway, to be brief blush, what you two are going through is perfectly normal, but please talk to someone about it. You really don't want it developing into full blown PND afterwards.

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