Those June/July babies

[motherinferior]

Just wondered how everyone's getting on, having actually produced?

I'm absolutely knackered, and have very nasty tear which is giving me grief (I ripped into the muscle a bit) but am in much MUCH better shape than with dd2 - and dd1 is thoroughly enthusiastic. Mind you, dd2 is still asleep most of the time. I'm aware that the next few weeks and months are going to be, ahem, not the easiest, which is why I thought it might be worth keeping in touch...?

[kaz33]

Hi Motherinferior - great idea.

My DS2 is now 1 month old (technically a May baby) and things are starting to calm down a bit. He has had terrible wind from Day 1 but we have developed some strategies for helping him sleep so things are getting better. After some false starts DP has become very helpful which has made all the difference in the world.

Our nanny left today so as of tomorrow I am on my own with the boys. Very scary but also very exciting as I am really looking forward to spending time with them. Luckily like you my firstborn is being really helpful and is very proud to have a little brother.

[Dahlia]

Hi you two - what a good idea for a thread - my dd2 is 10 days old now and we are coping quite well - dd1 (aged 7) has been fabulous, she can heat her bottle, feed it to her, change a wet nappy, and cuddle her and stop her crying! Plus, dh and I are taking it in turns to sleep downstairs on sofa bed with dd2 so the other two can get a full uninterrupted nights sleep upstairs. Its working extremely well so far and I feel fairly human, have even had time to do my nails! She is a really good baby and sleeps most of the time so far. I have lost it a couple of times with unannounced visitors who then stay ages and disrupt the routine, and I got very upset when breastfeeding didn't work out but on the whole feel really positive. Still, its early days yet!

[bundle]

well done to all of you..I technically have a mid-2003 baby (now 10 weeks) so may throw in odd ten-pence worth occasionally...
(dd2 sleeping through the night, she said quietly. hoping not to offend sleepless mothers )

[PamT]

Has anyone heard from Wobblymum? She posted about something that sounded suspiciously like a show last week and I haven't seen anything else from her since.

[kaz33]

Bundle - no need to apologise - I am counting down the days till the mythical three month mark and full nights sleep ( well thats what DS1 did ). If its 10 weeks then I am nearly half way there !!!

Most difficult DS1 has just hit the terrible twos - and though he is not a big tantrum master ( yet ) the change of the new baby and his fab nanny leaving has unsettled him.

[motherinferior]

I'm waiting for that magic point too - it worked with dd1. I have to say our night are a bit nightmarish at the moment because I am breastfeeding at night, lying down, and sometimes dd2 just doesn't get the hang of it (she will, though, so I know it's worth keeping on with) and then dp starts snoring...I think I may well suggest sleeping separately tonight (we did during the weeks when I was on maternity leave last time, just so he had enough energy to work!). OTOH I'm very lucky about b/f, I know. And I haven't had massive baby blues etc either - YET - although I suspect hormones are making the pain from this wretched tear worse; fortunately the midwife and doc have taken it seriously and prescribed antibiotics in case it's infected AND stronger painkillers.

Had the two on my own this afternoon because poor dp had to jump in the car and see his brother, who'd been taken into hospital with a twisted testicle! Wow, thank goodness it wasn't this time last week...

[kaz33]

I remember last birth I had an anal fissure which was agony for about 6 months - so Motherinferior I do sympathise. Hope it heals soon.

don't mind breastfeeding at night - he only does about 15-20 minutes at a time. But afterwards he falls asleep and then half an hour later is up with really bad colicy wind - teh only way he will sleep is lying on me or in the kitchen in front of the dryer. Its a bit odd putting him down at 4am in the kitchen in his chair !!

Motherinferior - how old is your DD1 ?

[motherinferior]

She's a week today!

Dahlia, what sort of routine are you on at the moment? We're being very take-it-easy for the next couple of weeks, and then I want to start doing proper bedtimes and so on...doesn't seem much point at the moment when she's still adjusting to being in the world at all.

[Dahlia]

Hi Motherinferior - we are a bit all over the show with feeds! Last night she went 5 hours between feeds which was fab, and dh had a 7 hour gap the other night! But then other nights its been 3 hours. During the day she sleeps solidly in 4 hour blocks, just wakes for a bottle and change then back to sleep. Sometimes she will scream for a second bottle straight after the first! I am quite chilled about everything except the state of my belly which is truly horrific, and today a spare tyre has mysteriously appeared just under my boobs which is quite distressing. Literally arrived overnight. Is this normal?????????

[motherinferior]

I think the longest we've ever gone is 4 hours...I keep having to remind myself dd1 was similarly all over the shop, and then got herself (helped) into a regular routine at 3 months. And when she does wake up to feed, it can be up to an hour on the boob, which is particularly annoying at 3am when she's just reclining, hands behind her head, just as big sister used to do!

I think my belly is actually in somewhat better shape this time round than last, when it was revolting wobbly mountain for months (although dp disillusioned me about being snake-hipped babe - don't know why I should have thought this anyway as was not exactly one before) but it has a strange and bizarre rumple which I gloomily suspect is permanent.

How long are you two off work for, btw?

[kaz33]

Hi ladies

Luckily I get six months paid mat leave so will definitely take that. Under the new regulations everyone is now entitled to a year off - its so great to be at home am tempted.

Also thinking off moving out of London, finally making that break. DP can work from home if he has a home office so we are very tempted. And i hate my job, both the type of job and the place. Thinking of moving to the south coast. I think we are going to put the flat on the market and see what happens. Then if we do manage to sell rent for 6 months to see where we want to live.

So the answer is 6 months to forever !!

DS2 is now 5 weeks and 1 day and things have definitely settled down. I am getting to know him and have some idea of his routine which he is drifting into...

[Dahlia]

I was made redundant in February which was a blessing in disguise as I was fed up with my job, and they paid me up to when I started claiming maternity allowance. So I am going to start looking for a something new in October as I want to start in November, after half term. My friend is an HR Manager at a hospital and assures me she can find me something there which would be fab as they have a really good creche.
Had a horrific night last night and am knackered today. Can't believe she is only two weeks old, I can't remember what it was like when she wasn't here.
ps. Diet started yesterday!!!!!!!! well, healthy eating plan. Goodbye biscuit afternoons on the settee!

[motherinferior]

I'm off till November too, although have to do odd bit of work admin (like bank cheques). And am knackered too, completely shattered after dd2 spent hard night feeding (and bosoms are starting to be solid milk machines again, because she's feeding so much). Keep telling myself Oh Yes I Remember This Bit. DP goes back to work on Tues as well, and I'm feeling more than a bit under-confident about my physical ability to exercise dd1 enough. Fortunately lovely lovely friends will be around, and she does like running around in the garden...

Dahlia, I have to tell you that the last article I wrote on Healthy Eating (for Red, a couple of months ago - only so many ways you can rephrase 'lay off the cakes, booze a bit less and get a bit more exercise', I find) plunged me into the Ben&Jerry's like nobody's business.

Babe also covered in spots, poor little lamb.

[motherinferior]

Thought should just add (computer has been on for ages as babyfeeding precluded finishing an email to someone!) that with all the complaints, seeing my two beautiful daughters curled up together, with dd1 saying 'shhh' to her sister, makes my heart twinge with joy and tears...

[motherinferior]

wotcher - just checking, nobody gone completely bonkers yet? although at times I'm coming close...

[Dahlia]

Motherinferior, I know just what you mean about watching them together - my dd1 is 7 and is being such a fantastic help, and is just so happy to have a little sister at last. Poor dd2 gets flung about in a somewhat ungainly fashion but puts up with it. I felt really cack today (dh back at work, feeling a bit lonely) and rang one of the girls I met through ante natal classes and I swear to god I have never laughed so much in my life - she was ranting down the phone about her baby and how she wasn't dressed at 4pm and why did he have to cry all the time and god-her-life-is-shite-now. It really cheered me up, just knowing I am not the only one just about holding it together!
ps. have stuck to diet so far.....

[kaz33]

Hi, now at home with both of them. DS1 has developed a nasty cold and of course is in the process of transferring it to DS2 - luckily those breastfeeding antibodies are keeping the worst of it at bay.

Today had my first experience of them both bawling in public - and it was ok, felt suprisingly calm and just thought that it was still a million times better than being at work. Knackered but happy. Haven't had to cope with DP being away on business yet - that will be the real test !!

Newborn has started cooing.. ahhh !!!!

Motherinferior - how old is your oldest ?

[motherinferior]

Dahlia, if you want to ring me - or indeed meet up - feel free! (and you, Kaz, obviously!). I had a truly appalling night last night, during which I seriously thought about switching to formula feeding just to get a bit of peace; the midwife has just been, and discharged me but also given me some brilliant advice including the fact I can express this early (I was told not to last time) and give dp a bottle to feed her...also suggestions on keeping her a bit stimulated during the day. I too feel 'why is my baby like this - feeding for hours at a time, refusing to sleep at night then kipping for hours in the day' and that weird mixture of shame/embarrassment when rationally you know a two-week-old is a tiny little thing adjusting to the world.

My older one is 2.5, and a total sweetie. If a chattersome, energetic sweetie who wants to cuddle her little sister a wee bit over-enthusiastically...

[kaz33]

Yesterday I was calm - today not so - as DS1 sat down in Holland Park and refused to walk or go in his buggy, I thought poor kid he wants his nanny back - what have I inflicted on him.

As I picked him up i swore gently to myself "f**ing hell" and immediately he repeated me. I did not react so hopefully he will forget that I just taught him his first swear word !!!

One of the tough bits is that because I went back to work after DS1 I do not have a network of friends in the area with toddlers and can't really get into the newmum network as DS1 would be trashing houses. Started going to all DS1 playgroups. Where are you Motherinferior ? Central London by any chance ?

[motherinferior]

I'm in SE London - Catford... Yessss, I had the two of them all day today and started going completely bananas as I don't think I'm quite up to taking them anywhere - will TRY going to the library (where I can sit DOWN) tomorrow; I do feel massively better than I did this time last time, but the tear and stitches - although much much better - do slightly preclude just dashing out. And even if dp didn't have the car in the day I don't fancy my first drive ever on my 'own' being with 2 kids in the back of the car!

[whymummy]

can i just say a big congratulations to lisita and dh !!she`s had a beautiful baby boy!!

[kaz33]

My DS1 has started to lose it, becoming totally jealous of all teh attention that DS2 gets, he starts screaming because he knows that DS2 gets attention when he screams and demanding to be picked up all the time.

My parents phoned me to tell me about something that was going on with them and I totally lost it with them because of there total lack of interest or support - they live a 10 minute walk away yet my mum has seen us about 5 times in the last 6 weeks and other than one morning done nothing to help. Rift healed now and offers of help forthcoming, but really why are my parents so c**p

Its 3 in the morning and DS2 wants to play !!

[motherinferior]

Kaz- my dd1 has also started being a bit overly cross and upset about things. You're not alone. And DON'T ask about the small hours of the morning, just don't!

How old is ds1?

[Dahlia]

Hi Girls, have managed to find 5 minutes in the day where I can sit down and do my own thing! Motherinferior, what exactly did your m/w suggest about keeping her stimulated during the day? Any tips would be gratefully accepted. I'm in Manchester by the way, which is a shame as a meet up would have been fab. Have you or Kaz noticed a significant incease in your ability to swear non stop? My language has become really dreadful, when dd2 starts talking her first sentence will be "oh for fck's sake, just drink the fcking bottle".

[Dahlia]