How did you raise the whole facts of life and periods topic?

[starrynight]

My DD is 10 and a half and showing all the signs of puberty. She smells (poor thing!), has underarm hair and her breasts are developing. I am presuming it won't be long til she starts her periods.

She has never been interested in this discussion apart from once when it started from a tampon advert and now I fear she doesn't know anything and will be unprepared. HELP how do I bring up the subject - have been waiting for it to be raised naturally for the last year and it hasn't happened and I'm sure time is running out. How have others done it?

[starrynight]

BTW I have bought her deodorant don't just let her go around stinking!

[Mama5]

We talk about it openly - she has seen me put tampons in etc and I had a baby when she was 8 so that was a good time. i just grin and bear it and bite the bullet ( too many cliches) when my big children ask me things. my daughter will be 11 in october but no hair sweating or boobs ! I am keen to get on with it as she is certainly moodier of late!

[starrynight]

Well, my DD has been moody for at least the last 2 yrs so you may have a while! I have bought up the topic when having her brother and sister but she was not interested at all and basically gazed off and never really looked at the books we bought her. Now it feels really late and she never asks questions or anything...so I don't know what to do!

[starrynight]

And had the Mirena coil so didn't have a period for 4 yrs or so, so another opportunity missed!

[homemama]

Hi Starry, I'd say don't build it up by arranging a big sit down talk. Mention it casually, tell her you know she's prob embarrassed but say that part of your job is to make sure that she knows everything she needs to or wants to.
In y5 and Y6, she should receive sex ed in school. Y5 should be periods, hygiene etc, Y6 sex ed. When I teach it in school they always say they're emb. when parents first bring it up but then they're glad to know the facts. However, they also tell me thay never ask the questions they really want to know the answers to!!
Waterstones has an excellent range of books on the subject. A good dip in, dip out one is 'let's talk about wher babies come from' by Robie Harris published by Walker Books. It covers hygiene, periods and all the rest.
Good Luck

[starrynight]

bump

[fostermum]

has she never asked any questions?ask her what they have taught her at school about her body and growning up,she may then start to talk about it

[madmarchhare]

Hasnt she had a girls talk at school yet? We had a 'chat' 4th year of juniors (dont know what it is these days - but it was the last year before senior school) and she sounds the right age for that. It just very simply and briefy went over how our bodies were changes and why but not in too much detail. Because my mum knew we had had this talk at school she just said if there was anything else I needed to know to just ask. Of course I never did!!!!, but I remember knowing a lot more than she thought I did.

[fostermum]

there are some good age related books about that would be handy to just leave laying casually around to that might start up conversation

[charleepeters]

Maybe you could get her a book adn just simply say

'i know this subject may embarass you so i got you this i woulf like it if you read it - if you have any questions please come and ask me - i wont be embarassed and would be happy to talk about anything you want to know' and buy her a pack of sanitary towels to keep in her room?'

[starrynight]

No, she has never asked any questions. She is in yr 5 (3rd year juniors) and I don't think they get any kind of info til next year (which will prob. be too late).

Thanks for your suggestions - I think I will get a book for her and ask what she has been taught at school - and hope the usual "dunno" or "can't remember" don't feature in the answer!

[Freckleface]

When we told our ds about sex, after he kept asking lots of questions, my dh said to him, have you got any questions and he said, yes, thousands!
My friend started telling her son with the words, you're not going to believe this... And he didn't!

[jayzmummy]

Theres an excellent book by Babette Cole called Mummy Laid an Egg.
Its really funny with excellent art work.

The gist of it is that Mum and Dad sit down to tell the children all about how babies are made...only the parents arent that well in formed!!!

Pictures of daddy planting baby seeds in flower pots...mummy's baby seeds shooting out of toothpaste tubes...mummy sitting on a huge egg.
Then the children in the book tell parents they have got it all wrong and go on to give a very informative explanation to their parents of how babies are really made.

Both my boys love this book an have a good giggle at just how silly the parents are.

[lou33]

i got dd a book called "have you started yet?", explained things really well, told her to read it, and ask me any questions afterwards.

[AuntyQuated]

Babette Cole also does one called "Hair In Funny Places". that is good and amusing too

[homemama]

The Babette Cole books are good but IME 10year olds aren't always keen on them cause the print is large and they see them are rather babyish. It depends on the maturity of your daughter, she may like them. However, if you think she'd prefer more of a text that she can refer to again and again, the one I suggested is v. good as is the one suggested by Lou33.

[Lonelymum]

If this is any help, I remember what my own mother did (and she was a doctor, specialising in women's stuff God help her!) She was obviously not up to talking to me about it (she and I have never had that sort of relationship) so one day she put a leaflet about periods down on the table in front of me to read! (She must have had easy access to them at her clinic, but I reckon you could get one easily enough at the doctors or Family Planning Clinic). I can't say her method was anything but clumsy (especially as I already knew all about periods from reading books myself and taling to friends - you might be surprised what your dd knows) but I suppose she fulfilled her duty and I probably did learn a thing or two, even though I claimed I knew it all already!