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Autumn Tantrums and Snot till March. Parents of two or more pre schoolers join in..

248 replies

girlsyearapart · 09/11/2009 09:14

New thread. Last one too long!

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Chaotica · 09/11/2009 13:25

Yey! My link from the old thread worked.

Just in case anyone who doesn't know us pops in: I have DD 3.6 and DS 2

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tracyface · 09/11/2009 16:44

Well done Chaotica and GYA , not sure I know how to do links. I Must learn

Hello to any Newbies - I have Melissa who will be 3 in Feb and Isaac who will be 2 in Feb and three other older boys, 19, 17 & 11 not relevent to this thread but challenging in other ways !

Major tantrums from Melissa this afternoon. She has even tried biting me. Naughty step not working .

Any suggestions ?

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Chaotica · 09/11/2009 17:44

Hi Tracyface - sorry to hear about the tantrums. No suggestions, except the usual: is she sick/tired/hungry problem...

I had a few problems with DS this morning (think he might be getting a cold) who was extra specially clingy and moany which is not like him at all recently - he's been Mr Reasonable since I started a Tantrum-o-meter to show DP who was convinced that we should take him to the doctor's because he's such a screamer. (There have, amazingly, been zero tantrums since then and that was last week - well, there was a bit of fussing because I wouldn't let him wear DD's knickers )

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Chaotica · 09/11/2009 17:46

BTW - we solved the loud firework problem when we worked out that we could see the official town display in the next town from our window (5 miles away!). So we got some good fireworks without the bangs after all.

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Chaotica · 09/11/2009 20:49

Kaybee - if you make it to this thread... I am at you having summer on the way. I'm just getting used to all the mud and wellies and hats and coats (and washing...). I need an outhouse as big as my living room for storing it all (preferably with a bath in so that I could just plunge the DCs in on the way into the house.

J&G - did you get the house with the playroom??

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Kaybeeand2boys · 10/11/2009 03:47

Hello!
Yes found the new thread Chaoticia. Sorry to make you ! It's just how I have been feeling hearing you all talking about your summer and holidays etc!
Am nervously awaiting news from DH about whether he got job he went for, I just feel like I can't even dare for good news........... He has decided already they will say no, it's really getting him down. I have all fingers and toes crossed .........

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girlsyearapart · 10/11/2009 08:47

oh good you found it! I don't know how to do links either...

Had an hour long tantrum/standoff with dd1 yesterday as I wouldn't take her to play at her friends house until she had picked all her colouring pencils off the floor.

Got there in the end.

And for those who don't know me I have two dds 2.2 and 14mo and trying for a third.

Tracy- I didn't know you had older ones!

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Chaotica · 10/11/2009 10:18

Hi All

Now it's my turn to be sick (along with DS) -- might have to MN work at home today...

Kaybee - I shouldn't really be - as you say we've just had summer here, well sort of (the kind you get around here). I really hope your DH gets the job - it's so hard waiting, I almost been pleased to hear that I hadn't got a job in the past because the wait is so traumatic.

An hour tantrum, GYA? I do not envy you one bit. I seem to end up with moaning or tantrums every time I tell DD to do something that she can actually do (like put her shoes on) - is this normal for 3? I suspect it is, but the list of things she can't do is endless

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tracyface · 10/11/2009 16:34

Well fireworks were a disaster here,

After the first rocket which didnt even bang, Isaac was petrified and sat shaking on my lap screaming while oh ran around the garden with his glo sticks trying to be jolly.

So we (well me and the kids) gave up on the idea and came inside to watch. Melissa wasnt really frightenend but felt she ought to be scared because Isaac was.

As for tantrums and Melissa, things havnt really improved today. I dont think holding her on the step counts as time out! She is just really testing the boundaries at the moment.

Chaotica - Im reading a parenting book at the moment and it suggests that no, you shouldnt do anything for your children if they can do it themselves no matter how young or old they are?

Apparently its all part of the training/conditioning process. Im only on page 17 so far so cant really comment if I agree or not yet.
Cant believe it but Isaac has droppped his daytime nap - im gutted he is not two till february

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girlsyearapart · 11/11/2009 09:56

Tracy- my dd1 dropped her nap for a few weeks before she was 2 as did my niece and they are both back to napping again so it could be a phase?

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Jewelsandgems · 11/11/2009 20:27

Hi Girls

Sorry to hear abouyt the tantrums, but I can totally relate. Freya has earache (doctors said no infection; that there was nothing they could do) and sho is now using this as an excuse to Push Izzy, to throw food, to demand treats and to not have to say please/thankyou/pardon me etc. And my mum has been around today. (yes, who constantly carrys her, gives her what she wants, makes her feel even sorrier for herself than she does already)

So....

We were in homebase and there is a ride outside. The girls are good and know I will take them on it, afterwards. So, we are in the shop and Freya takes her coat off - fine. Izzy takes hers off - fine also. At the checkout I asked Izzy to put her coat on and she did. Freya refused and ran off back through the checkout into the shop!!!! So, I just walked out and she followed. I turned around and knelt down, and told her that if she did not put her coat on what I asked again, it would be the naughty step when we got home. My mum then sighs really loudly and gives me a dirty look, and then scoopes freya up into her arms and covers her in kisses, before depositing her on the ride. Well, I was [angry[ to say the least and even thought about telling her to make her own way home (smug because I can now drive emoticon)

Exhales

That's better.

Chaotica, yes we did get the yellow house BUT now the purchasing of our house are slowing there heels and the sale could fall apart at any moment. We have only put down a holding deposit on the house, so if we loose it then we do (but ut's just over £100 so not too bad)

Kaybee I am sending positive vibes your way and hoping your DH has got the job. I know what you mwan about not even daring to imagine him getting it

Well girls sorry about the rant there, thank god for mumsnet!!

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Chaotica · 11/11/2009 23:03

Evening Ladies

Tracyface -- DD dropped her nap around 2 and then took it up again for over a year. She still naps some days (and she still needs it). Unfortunately, DS seems to be dropping his nap, although I can't tell whether his teeth or an infection might be causing it.

J&G - good to see you on the new thread. I would be as fed up with your mum as Freya from the sounds of things. (Freya sounds normal, but you have to deal with that kind behaviour in your own way.)

Tracyface - I think you're right (or the book is) about leaving DCs to do things if they can. I will be late for everything for ever more . My problem (sort of) is that DD panics and starts screaming and moaning if she can't quite manage some tiny thing (like finding the sleeve in her top) . At this rate, DS will be able to get dressed before DD can... I really will be late for every more...

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Chaotica · 12/11/2009 17:14

Afternoon All

I am grrrrr today about playgroup (which is usually lovely and was mostly lovely today) but there was one woman there whose older child kept homing in on DS and snatching (nay wrestling) whatever he was playing with... Did this woman intervene? Of course she didn't or I wouldn't be - I kept having to do it which was beginning to make me Now DS is a big boy and he throws a mean punch, and I was getting tempted to tell him to just clock her one there and then... But that would be sinking to her mother's level. (Her poor child - I'm angry with the mother not the daughter, btw.) But wtf, most people who go are mortified if their kids are terrorizing others and this woman just sat there.

Sorry - rant over. I must have pmt

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Chaotica · 12/11/2009 17:15
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Jewelsandgems · 12/11/2009 19:29

Chaotica you have my complete sypmathy - I really hate it when parents try and disassociate themselves from their children, usually when the children are being naughty. It does eem like today the naughtyl children are referred to as 'cheeky' and seem to always get their way. I told Freya if someone takes something off her, to shout 'Give it back!' really loud (and I have also told her that if a child hits her purposely, to either shout 'Do not do that again!' or, hit them back. The days when children were told to ignore it, or to politely ask for said item back are long gone IMO.

I had a nice day today, Freya better and she also went to nursery. Then dinner at my parents (girls eat none of their dinner so whathappens? Yes, mum and dad bring out the chocolate gateau...)

And I cannot believe that it is one week today that ~I have been driving. I know grrrrl passed her test but said she rarely drives, me on the other hand, I can't wait to get in the car!!

Anyway, bonne soiree my friends.
J&G

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tracyface · 12/11/2009 20:02

Had such an awful day that I cant even bear to post about it.

Needless to say I have lost count of Melissa's tantrums today and all of them have been for things we dont even have in the house or have ever had. Its almost as if she had some bizarre dream last night that was on her mind today and expected to get some weird items from nowhere today!

AArgh !!! really tired as Isaac not sleeping in the day and now for past few nights he has been waking up screaming at around 2am and up for about an hour . Guess its teething but its really wearing me out as i not getting a rest in the day time either,

May try to get him to sleep for a nap tomorrow to see if it makes a difference. Considering he isnt having his usual 2 hour nap at lunchtime he is amazingly happy and coping really well in the afternoons compared to his sister!

J&G Im glad Freya is better. My two have sore throats/coughs last night, Melissa has a croup type cough and Isaac has a really chesty couch so both completely different. However both of them have coughed in my face so it will be interesting to see which type of cough I develop

Off for an early night as I just know Ill be up at some point.

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Jewelsandgems · 12/11/2009 20:44

Tracy that does sound like a shit day. The tantrums are wearing enough but when teamed with lack of sleep.....well you did well to make it through the day without crying so high five

I agree that Isaac dropping his nap may be the reason for the night waking. He may just be overstimulated. If his little brain is still going around when he is asleep, at some point his brain will wake him up. I would try the nap again and tell him he must go to sleep (and if he stays in his room and sleeps/plays until you come and get him up, you will give him a smily sticker - works very well for Izzy) You made me chucke re which kind of cough you would get - I am amazed sometimes that I do not have colds all the time. I mean, the amount of germs that go around at nursery....

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Chaotica · 13/11/2009 11:53

Morning All

Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time, Tracyface. But LOL at the cough prediction. I think we survive better because we're constantly getting a little bit of everything going, but having said that I'm sick of feeling slightly ill... DS is very moany and has a cough, but I can't tell how sick he is. I just hope DD doesn't get it, or anything else, as last time her bad chest landed her in hospital and anything new could be a real problem.

No kids today! It's our anniversary (10 years of not being married) so DP and I are going out. (Of course, today was the day that DS became all clingy and said 'no like CM' because he wanted to stay at home with his dad, so I feel awful.)

I'm glad you like the driving, J&G - I only started 2.5 years ago and I quickly found it really useful. I love being able to take the DCs out (not to mention get to work without waiting hours for buses). We still walk locally though, or I'd turn into a giant blob.

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Jewelsandgems · 15/11/2009 20:47

Chaotica hope you had a lovely anniversary night out And we do walk locally too - I really enjoy being out walking and find it easier to walk to go to th supermarket (no car to park, no trolley to find - no tantrum at DCs NOT wanting to get in trolley)

I do find it bloody hard driving with DH though. Today he - wait for it - flicked my indicator on. It really pissed me off.

Aside from that, had a lovely day, and make orange and chocolate cookies this afternoon with the girls. It was there treat for gtting 20 stars this week (well it was supposed to be the park, but with it being wet, that did not seem to be a good idea - hence baking)

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend,
J&G

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girlsyearapart · 16/11/2009 09:43

god yeah i hate driving with dh and only do it if he's had too much to drink to drive/comment on my driving.

I've only been driving for 2 1/2 years and dh for 14 years and he drives for a living so I know he's better than me. It just makes me nervous!

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tracyface · 16/11/2009 11:46

Hi all,

Things not much better here im afraid. Tried to get Isaac to nap in the day but he wont have it so after 45 mins of crying I gave up. For some reason he now wont go to bed either and was up till nearly ten last night when I put him down at 7 as usual. To be fair he has the most awful bottom poor thing and I had to change him and bath him about five times so im not surprised he couldnt sleep with all that upping and downing, Im guessing its his teeth as he has a really bad tummy this morning and I have used up a tube of bepanthen and the yellow cream I think its metanium.

Dont know what else to try ?

He has had his nappy off all morning to get some air to his botty but im a bit fed up trying to get him to sit on the potty as he has absolutly no idea and has peed and pooed all over its been quite stressful.

Im in a bad mood too and cant shift it - probably pmt but lots of probs with older kids i feel like my head is going to explode.

Health visitor coming this afternoon to check on Isaac and his speech but I think he is much improved. Last time she came I was also not having a good time and she thought I had PND. So goodness only knows what she will think today.

Must hold it together

I have been driving as long as my oh (about 26 years) and he still critisizes me too. But thinking about it im probably as bad as him because I always have my say when he is driving too. I know what you mean though for some reason he makes me nervous its almost like having a driving instructor in with you. God can you imagine what it would be like if you were really married to a driving instructer. I dont think Id ever drive anywhere.

Enough rambling I really should tidy the house ......

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Chaotica · 16/11/2009 15:54

Afternoon, All

LOL (in horror!) at the thought of being married to a driving instructor. I just have to see mine while I'm out in the car before I go into a blind did-I-check-the-mirror panic. DP is fairly flawless about not commenting upon my driving, although he sometimes gets me in a tizz about parking though.

Tracyface - poor you, don't have much advice but I hope it went OK with the HV. (And I hope she's a nice HV.) I always use sudacrem for nappy rash, but none of mine have ever had it really badly.

I had a raging PMT migraine yesterday and was truly horrible to the DCs , not helped on Saturday by first DS, then DD having crazy tantrums. I feel terrible about it, and my headache hasn't gone yet (so I feel doubly terrible about it).

J&G - chocolate and orange cookies? Hmm - sounds good. I made a cake with DD on saturday and it was really good. She can do quite a lot now as well, so that makes it more fun. It isn't just a case of her throwing flour around the kitchen. I'll have to get DS cooking too soon...

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girlsyearapart · 16/11/2009 20:00

My dh is a cab driver which is bad enough for telling me how to drive!

Dd2 has been sick twice this week. Once during the night and didn't even wake then again just now. I'm unsure now whether it's a bug or a food allergy as she is an allergicky baby..

Tracy- my friends ds had such bad nappy rash the other day and they recommended keeping the house warm but stripping him of his nappy and putting olive oil on him bottom. Also said canesten cream could help.

I liked Kammilasan or Bepanthen.

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tracyface · 17/11/2009 14:33

Health visitor now thinks im a loon. And yes she made me cry - well it wasnt her fault but its always the same when someone asks if you are ok and you are trying hard to cover it up. Anyway I think it was a helpful visit and she stayed ages so it was good to talk although she thinks I need some kind of counselling when I was asking for exactly the same thing for my 11 year old. So we are as bad as each other.

Im sure its worse because of pmt and I also have a headache and I developed a twitch in my eye which I guess is stress but its soooo annoying.

Anyway Isaac was up again last night the monkey so had to do a little bit of controlled crying (me not him ,lol)but only took a little while and he was back asleep again after an hour.

Health visitor told me to try whipped egg whites on his bottom which I am planning on trying this afternoon when he gets up . YESS!! he is having a nap .

I guess we can always make yummy meringues if it doesnt work

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Chaotica · 17/11/2009 21:29

Hi All

Egg white? That's a new one to me. I hope it works (but as you say, Tracyface, you can always make meringues... ).

Tracyface - I hope the pmt/headache and eye twitch are on their way out. (I have been a prize cow and felt terrible for the past few days, and I didn't even have the eye twitch.) Maybe you do have the leftovers of pnd or something - or just huge stress which is making you run-down. Let's face it, you're trying to look after 5 kids of vastly different ages and here we all are moaning when we've only got 2. I suppose it might be worth taking help if you can get it (but I bet you'd probably feel better if you had someone give you a break once in a while).

GYA - being married to a cab driver? Does he give you directions too?

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