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Oh god, will A&E report us to social services?? Seriously panicking!

(83 Posts)
InjuredBaby Tue 04-Jan-11 19:03:09

This afternoon DS (12 weeks) was sat in his bouncer happily gurgling at me on the sofa. Idiot DH decides that this is the time to reposition the coffee table, so instead of going around or asking us to move, he decides to lift it with everything still on it over the top of the baby.

He then yells "look out" as a tealight holder, with a spinning top, comes crashing down on DS's head. DS obviously burst into tears and I tried to take all the bits off of him, until I got to the bit which holds the spinning top, which had landed point down and was stuck in his head.

God I'm shaking typing this, I feel so sick at the thought of it.

I started to panic and pulled the bit out, and his head bled for a couple of minutes while we grabbed everything to take him to hospital.

By the time we got to A&E (where they were brilliant) there was no bleeding and he was giggling and smiling at us all like normal. The dr had a look at the wound and said it wasn't very deep and was over a bony bit (thank God); and then checked him all over and said he was fine and a happy little chap and told us to take him home. Obviously we have to keep an eye on him, but they said he looked absolutely fine, barring the little cut.

Anyway, I was just about calming down when my parents called to ask why we hadn't come by, so I explained what had happened and my mum started yelling all kinds of things along the lines of "how the f*** did you let that happen?", "what the f*** were you two playing at?" etc. Now I get that she was worried about the baby, but it wasn't very helpful.

Then she started saying that they would report us to social services, and that we'll be in loads of trouble, and that we'll be investigated etc etc.

I've pretty much been crying ever since, and I've never felt to sick and worried in my life.

Will they investigate us? What on earth do we do? I'm furious with DH, it could have been so much worse, but it was an accident, and he was crying having to explain it to the doctor.

Sorry this is so long, I'm so upset by the whole thing, I don't really know what to do.

Scrumpet Tue 04-Jan-11 19:05:52

Unlikely to report you to social services, but your HV will be told and will probably do a follow up visit. It's no biggy, they do it for all A&E visits for babies I think. Just be honest.

AnyFucker Tue 04-Jan-11 19:06:48

your baby is ok

you will be ok (when you calm down)

you won't be reported, there is absoluely no indication

reports are only made in unusual circs, where the "story" is not consistent with the injuries sustained, where here is a delay in attendance for no good reason or when there are other factors causing concern

honestly, it will be fine

tell your mother to stop scaring you, it is not helping

better still, give me her number and will tell her to STFU

Earthakitten Tue 04-Jan-11 19:07:27

You poor thing.

I very, very much doubt they'd report you to social services over an accident.

I sympathise as we had to take DD to A and E when she spilt a cup of tea on her hand and I felt like a terrible mother. They asked us to remove her top to check she wasn't burnt anywhere else, but I also in my paranoid state wondered if they were checking for bruises or other injuries.

Your parents are overreacting, ignore them.

Have a nice glass of wine tonight, and you can rest assured DH probably won't do anything like that again.

Sympathies - it's horrible when stuff like that happens.

SandStorm Tue 04-Jan-11 19:07:28

When my DD was tiny I fell down the stairs while carrying her and split her head open. At A&E they said to expect a visit from the HV but it never happened. Unless there are other reasons for intervention I doubt you'll hear from them.

AnyFucker Tue 04-Jan-11 19:07:53

scrumpet, they may automatically inform HV's but there will not be a follow-up HV unless there are concerns raised

LIZS Tue 04-Jan-11 19:08:09

It was an accident . Your hv may well be informed (I think that is standard with A and E admissions of preschoolers and babies) but is unlikely to pursue it as "non accidental". Please forgive yourselves. Once he becomes mobile there will be other bumps and scrapes.

alarkaspree Tue 04-Jan-11 19:08:58

One of my friends did get reported to social services after I think her third visit to A&E in a year (she had a very adventurous daughter). They just called her and told her to be more careful in future though.

Don't worry. Accidents happen, and health professionals realise that a lapse in judgement doesn't make you a bad parent.

Earthakitten Tue 04-Jan-11 19:09:30

My HV never came to see us after our visit.

Embarassingly, about two weeks after her accident DD tripped and cut her head open on the a steel edged step in a restaurant. There was an off duty nurse in the pub who glued it for her, thank god, I was dreading turning up at A and E again!

RobynLou Tue 04-Jan-11 19:10:09

when my DD broke her arm I got a phonecall from the HV asking how it had happened, I'd expect something along those lines, but not SS investigating you.

Coffeebeans Tue 04-Jan-11 19:10:15

I doubt it! The doctor sounded happy enough when he sent you home. I've had dealings with social services & IF they do turn up i'm sure they'd be friendly enough & will be popping round just to check the safety of your home. Then they'll leave you alone.
It sounds like you've got a very over sensitive mother (just like mine)
So you really should stop worrying. Go and hug your little one. x

scurryfunge Tue 04-Jan-11 19:11:35

Don't worry, if your account tallies with the injuries, there will be no report. If your child continues to have injuries, then questions may be raised. HV will check everything is ok, as is natural. Accidents happen.

Your mother sounds a bit of a nightmare to be honest.

Besom Tue 04-Jan-11 19:12:26

Don't worry.

I think (I hope) that if they thought a parent was deliberately harming their child they wouldn't be sent home in the first place without further investigation.

If they were going to report for any other reason they probably would have told you.

InjuredBaby Tue 04-Jan-11 19:12:36

Thanks everyone, that's reassuring to hear. Hopefully it'll be fine then. I'm not looking forward to him becoming adventurous, it was the worst feeling in the world when I saw him bleeding!

Thank you for reacting better than my mum!

Metherbumfit Tue 04-Jan-11 19:14:09

Message withdrawn

BertieBottlesOfMulledWine Tue 04-Jan-11 19:14:20

DS went to A&E twice under the age of 1 and both times the HV was informed, but she just phoned up to say "Poor DS, are you both okay? Must have been a nasty shock for you. You know where we are if you have any concerns, okay? See you at clinic next week."

And she wasn't a particularly wonderful HV, no dragon, but nothing special either.

Your mum is being really unhelpful, try to ignore her if you can!

InjuredBaby Tue 04-Jan-11 19:15:05

Yes, my mother is over-sensitive and a control freak. Unfortunately DS is her first grandchild and "her" special baby. Oh, and she lives round the corner.

We're currently trying to emigrate. Seriously.

activate Tue 04-Jan-11 19:16:12

It is automatic that they will inform HV or GP

Who may then call to check everything is OK

to which you say Yes, just a stupid accident

and stop panic

we have all done stupid things with our babies

llareggub Tue 04-Jan-11 19:18:46

Is your always this dramatic? She sounds like a pita.

I dropped my DS and then a week later he fell off his bouncy chair. We went to a and e both times and had the routine phone call from the hv.

If it makes you feel any better, no one involved any agencies when my dh was an alcoholic and we had a newborn, so I'm pretty sure no one will in your case.

KERALA1 Tue 04-Jan-11 19:19:07

It may get reported but dont panic. Friends of friends DD broke her leg rolling off a changing mat sad. It was a terrible accident, they are loving and good parents. They had to have a meeting with SS which is apparently triggered automatically for particular injuries. It was basically a formality.

hairtwiddler Tue 04-Jan-11 19:19:19

When DS was about seven weeks my MIL tripped, fell, and landed on top of him on his bouncy chair. We all had a terrible fright and spent the evening in A&E worried he'd suffered horrible internal injuries. He was absolutely fine.
They did tell us they would report the visit to our health visitor, and when I visited the health visitor the next week I told her about it and she was terribly sympathic, saying yes they probably would get a copy of a report.
I think they are pretty aware that accidents happen, but are trained to look out for when there are a pattern of accidents which could be avoided or which don't quite add up.
Hope you're ok. I remember I shook for a long time. My MIL was in a bad way too!

claireybear82 Tue 04-Jan-11 19:22:11

I really doubt it and even if they did what they going to do? theres nothing else been reported etc. also - if you really were abusing him you wouldnt take him to A and E with a mild head wound. absolutely everyone (human) does something like this at some point. i dropped my ds out of his car seat coz i picked it up and hadnt strapped him in properly and he fell out and smashed his head on the floor, it was horrific and i felt bad for weeks and weeks! (hes 7 now and fine!)

bubbleandsqueaks Tue 04-Jan-11 19:22:28

A couple of months ago, dd was messing around play fighting with dh on the bed when she fell forward and hit her lip on the end of our bed and put her teeth through the bottom of her lip.

The amount of blood was terrifying, she had to have minor plastic surgery,under GA, to stitch the lip up shock

The HV phoned up a couple of days after dd was home to check everything was healing ok and dd was happy and not traumatised.

Don't worry about SS, all children have accidents. Glad your ds is fine - it's a story to tell when he's older!

VivaLeBeaver Tue 04-Jan-11 19:24:31

OK, take a deep breath. Let me tell you something like this happens to (nearly) all parents at some point. My friend put her baby on the bed and she rolled off and landed on the floor.

My dd tripped when learning to walk and broke her wrist. Then when she was about 7 we took her rock climbing and she hurt her leg and we spent a day in a&e having x-rays and 2nd opinions on if it was broken or not.

I think the HV rang us afetr the leg incident. HVs, GPs, MWs already have a very good idea on which families are potential "problem type" families that may warrent more attention. Thats not to say they're not alert to the fact it could happen in any family. But one incident like this is not going to get SS involved at all.

This accident doesn't fit a typical abuse pattern and has a good explanation. I wouldn't worry. Don't be too hard on DH or your mum.

Tee2072 Tue 04-Jan-11 19:25:09

I wouldn't say it definitely won't get reported. When I dropped my son and he was in hospital for two nights with a concussion and a broken rib, I was reported to SS.

However, they never even spoke to me. They spoke to the A&E staff and the peadiatrician and the ward sister and nurses and dismissed it as an accident. HV also informed and did follow up.

It was truly no big deal, but I wanted you to know that it might happen, rather than everyone else saying it absolutely won't.

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