Oh god, will A&E report us to social services?? Seriously panicking!

[InjuredBaby]

This afternoon DS (12 weeks) was sat in his bouncer happily gurgling at me on the sofa. Idiot DH decides that this is the time to reposition the coffee table, so instead of going around or asking us to move, he decides to lift it with everything still on it over the top of the baby.

He then yells "look out" as a tealight holder, with a spinning top, comes crashing down on DS's head. DS obviously burst into tears and I tried to take all the bits off of him, until I got to the bit which holds the spinning top, which had landed point down and was stuck in his head.

God I'm shaking typing this, I feel so sick at the thought of it.

I started to panic and pulled the bit out, and his head bled for a couple of minutes while we grabbed everything to take him to hospital.

By the time we got to A&E (where they were brilliant) there was no bleeding and he was giggling and smiling at us all like normal. The dr had a look at the wound and said it wasn't very deep and was over a bony bit (thank God); and then checked him all over and said he was fine and a happy little chap and told us to take him home. Obviously we have to keep an eye on him, but they said he looked absolutely fine, barring the little cut.

Anyway, I was just about calming down when my parents called to ask why we hadn't come by, so I explained what had happened and my mum started yelling all kinds of things along the lines of "how the f did you let that happen?", "what the f were you two playing at?" etc. Now I get that she was worried about the baby, but it wasn't very helpful.

Then she started saying that they would report us to social services, and that we'll be in loads of trouble, and that we'll be investigated etc etc.

I've pretty much been crying ever since, and I've never felt to sick and worried in my life.

Will they investigate us? What on earth do we do? I'm furious with DH, it could have been so much worse, but it was an accident, and he was crying having to explain it to the doctor.

Sorry this is so long, I'm so upset by the whole thing, I don't really know what to do.

Had to call ambulance after dd pulled cup of tea on self (so angry with myself that I'd put a cup of tea where this could happen 2 years later). One of the first things the paramedic said was not to worry as ss wouldn't be contacted, for that reason I suspect there has been a lot of scaremongering which medical staff are aware of. We did have to do a follow up visit to gp though who was equally reassuring his words were something along the lines of , if you don't have a scarey visit with baby to a&e you are the exception not the rule and that genuine accidents happen to everyone and for that reason rarely happen again.

nobody has said it "absolutely won't"

My daughter had a spiral fracture of the tibia... just google it to find out how closely associated with abuse this injury is.

The hospital never blinked an eye, they could clearly see that dd was a happy confidant little girl and trusted me and we never had any follow up resulting from the injury.

Relax... kids have accidents every day and often enough they're stupid things that could have been prevented... it does not make you bad parents in any way, it was just an accident.

Your mother is a cow btw

That was very unfair of your mother.

It was bloody stupid of your DH, but presumably he's learnt his lesson now. And you were not at fault at all.

I know that sickening feeling when you do something that hurts your baby - in my case she fell off the bed. No harm done, but I will never forget it.

We've all been there, honestly.

TBH it sounds like the doc thought you guys had overreacted slightly bringing her to a&e but wanted to reassure you. Most doctors are very nice about new parents bringing babies to see them for reassurance that everything is OK.

spiral # of femur is very associated wih non-accidental injures

HV turned up when my dn went a&e and i recieved a letter when ds went paediatric ward for bronchiolitus the other week.
My point being that HV's do contact parents but nothing to worry about.

A phone call from the HV is the most you would get I suspect (I work in SS)

Accidents happen - honestly, dont beat yourself up about it.

And your mother sounds horrendous!!!

What has your DH said? I'd be more cross with him tbh, your mum was just shocked.

Oh don't feel guilty, eartha. I only took him because I was bit if a basket case at the time. Would not have done with DS2.

Try not to worry - I think the best thing might be to talk to the hv yourself.

My dbro's ds had a spiral fracture also, caused by sticking his leg out through the bars of the cot in his sleep and then turning over. The hospital did refer them to social services (even though nurses witnessed him doing it in the hospital - obv without breaking his other leg on that occasion). Fortunately as the children are adopted my dbro already had a social worker so it was all cleared up in no time. But spiral fractures are classic child abuse injuries, a minor head wound is not.

Glad ds is fine, it is always terrifying the first time something happens to your little one (I was inconsolable when I once tripped and landed with ds perfect safely on the sofa) and your mum hasn't helped at all with her histrionics.

Thanks everyone. It is reassuring to hear that others have made the A&E trip with a baby - I felt awful that he was so little.

They triaged him red, so I dont think the dr thought we'd overreacted, she was really worried it had gone through his soft-spot. It was an awful 30 secs while she checked. And she looked a bit horrified when we showed her the bit that had been stuck in his head.

God, it was hideous.

Like I said, thankfully it went in over a bony part, so it was just superficial.

He is much happier now though, and has fed well, napped well, and is currently playing with his shapes and smiling at his dad, so all forgiven there it seems.

Thanks again everyone! Glad to hear that all your children have bounced back!

it was an accident, your dh has learned from it. Give him a break, imagine how bad you'd feel if it was your fault.
Your Mum sounds like a nightmare and emmigrating sounds like a very sensible idea, as does telling her to stop being such a pita!

DH was beside himself, and has sworn to never ever do anything so stupid again. And has apologised to me and DS a lot.

A few weeks ago my youngest dgs-20mnths then] cut his head very deeply jumping on a bed-it needed stitches-no mention was made of ss and dd took him back to have stitches out and there has been no contact from anyone-she was just told to contact GP if she was worried.

You most likely wont get reported. They only report these things if the version of events don't add up, or you can't explain how your DC got, say, a fractured arm.

My Dsis was once reported to SS when her DS was a tiny baby because a cup of tea got spilt on him. It wouldn't have usually been a reportable incident but A and E doctors had to report it as Dsis wasn't there when it happened and the person who was denied it had happened while he was there with DNephew and indeed denied even having a cup of tea. SS were soon satsified it was a nasty accident and there was no follow up.

Bit at your mum's attitude tbh as you need support right now, SS or no SS. It was an accident, no one set out to deliberately hurt your baby and sounds like he's fine. If your mum starts again, hang up. I would.

Oh, I haven't had a go at DH since I swore at him when I first saw it. It was an accident, and he was even more upset by it than I was. I told him to put some wine in the fridge, I think we both need a glass.

OP your mother sounds horrendous. Ignore her.

Try not to worry. DS got a bump on his head when he was less than a week old. I was so upset and horrified that it had happened.

The doctor took loads of information for their files, and I was really worried that SS would contact us. As it turned out, noone contacted us, but I mentioned it to both the MW and the HV as I was seeing them on a regular basis as DS was so young. They were fine, and said not to worry cos accidents happen.

DS paid a return visit to A&E for another bump on his head (nose dive off sofa onto wooden floor) when he was about 15mo. There was no follow up, or comment on the previous injury.

For the record, I have managed to safely raise one child (DD) so far, but DS seems totally accident prone!

When my son was around 6 months old, I stupidly left him on the double bed while I turned around to get some wipes and did he not take that split second to roll over on the bed and fall off and bang his head on the radiator.

Cue wailing and a bump on the front of his head the size of an egg. Raced to A&E and as we walked in we saw the consultant who had been looking after him for an ongoing medical condition who turned round and said "hello xxxxx, what are you doing here again!". I was embarrassed by the faces of the people in the waiting room!

These things happen, don't beat yourself up and ignore your mum.

Our dd wrenched her leg going down a slide aged about 13 months. A week later gp sent us to a and e as she was no longer able to move her hip. I was petrified at what they'd say about the delay and the reason for the injury- going down a slide sounded so contrived! But turns out she had a kind of joint inflammation that doctor said was 'absolutely typical' after 'that kind of slide injury'. There was even a sodding leaflet about it ready and waiting - there's really nothing new under the sun in paediatric a and e! As people have said, it's inconsistency they look for. We never had any kind of follow up with anyone, though there is a sign up saying every visit is fed back to the hv. Tell your mum to stfu:)

Have the glass of wine and don't make your DH feel any worse, it's horrible enough when something hurts your child, let alone when your own stupid mistake caused it, I'm sure he doesn't need any more pressure.

We had 2 visits to A&E for our 2 within 2 months, both head injuries although very different in nature. Younger was still very young (27 days to be precise) and I was beside myself, DH worried but calmer (health professional). HV had been told when they did the next visit but as others have mentioned they look for a number of factors like consistency of story & injury etc and I doubt you'll score particularly worryingly from what you've said so don't panic. Hope you're all OK.

When I was in A&E last time they had signs in every triage room saying anyone attending under the age of 16 they will pass the details onto with HV or school nurse. The nurse said chances are there is no follow up if it's the first or isolated incident. I wouldn't worry too much :)

Don't worry.

My most accident-prone child once managed three broken bones in the space of a year (all separate incidents). By the third time I was really expecting Social Services to be waiting for us at A&E, but nobody really batted an eye.

FWIW, I think what they look for is (a) patterns of unexplained or unusual injury (b) parents giving inconsistent accounts of events and (c) particular types of injury that are commonly found in a non-accidental injury context. For older dc I think they also pay a lot of attention to the child's account of events -- my dd is really chatty, so was more than happy to tell all and sundry and his wife and dog how she came by her broken bones. A friend's ds is much shyer and was reluctant to talk to the Drs. On their various A&E visits she always felt they were being very closely questioned, probably to make sure that the child hadn't been intimidated or was covering up for the parents.

I must have done at least 7 or 8 visits to A & E when my twin sons were under the age of 5 - with everything from a broken arm (DT1 bouncing on the mattress placed on the floor and landing awkwardly when I was out of the room), to a splinter stuck behind DT1s big toe nail, DT2 with tummy pains and not sleeping for 4 weeks (I was in tears throughout that visit, as I'd not slept more than 2 to 3 broken hrs a day for all those weeks), DT1 crashing into a bollard in a shopping centre when he was leanring to walk more on his won (ambulance to A & E from shopping centre with all of us crying and loads of blood)...I can't even remember all the other times but there were loads of them and my twins are now 9 - so less accident prone.

Each time, all that happened was that we got a standard letter from A & E saying the HV had been informed or something and that if I needed any help, just let her know - but it was only a formality, as they're far too busy.

As a single mum from the start with twins and no family to help out at all, even in my situation, nothing further was done and I got used to those standard letters, never had the HV visiting or calling at all and I finally realised it's just normal practice.

So your mum is only scaremongering and you need to relax and realise that we ALL have DCs who can have unforeseeable and unintentioned accidents at times and you just accept this as part of raising DCs and do the best you can. The number of times mine also pushed each other down a flight of stairs, fell off beds, one occasion they sprayed each other with household cleaner....yet they're still alive and kicking and so am I!

InjuredBaby dont panic I have 11 children and everyone of them at some stage has had an accident. If your child was persistantly seen with marks and bruises thats differant then it would be reported BUT only if the explanation seemed questionable. I have 4 children of school age 7 to 13 and they are always coming home with cuts , bumps , bruises and scrapes. One time a teacher was lifting a chair over the table for another child and caught my 7 yr old with the leg of the chair and left a bump on his forehead the teacher came to me at pick up time and explained what had happend it had been put in the school accident book and that was the end of it. The explanation was reasonable so as far as i was concerned no further action needed to be taken. Your HV may check your child but it will only be to see if there are any after effects of the accident. (DON'T PANNICK) ok. As they say in life S**t happens everyday.

I sat down on my ds when he was about 22 mths (yes I know it sounds awful but he climbed onto the sofa behind me while I was putting dd in her bumbo to give her brekkie) and I broke his arm

Anyway, hospital were brilliant and said things like that happpen all the time. HV did call a week or so later but that was just standard procedure and to check we were all right and that I was ok and not feeling too guilty about it!!

Don't worry, you're dh didn't do anything bad he just didn't really think but you don't expect something like that to happen do you!