Oh god, will A&E report us to social services?? Seriously panicking!

[InjuredBaby]

This afternoon DS (12 weeks) was sat in his bouncer happily gurgling at me on the sofa. Idiot DH decides that this is the time to reposition the coffee table, so instead of going around or asking us to move, he decides to lift it with everything still on it over the top of the baby.

He then yells "look out" as a tealight holder, with a spinning top, comes crashing down on DS's head. DS obviously burst into tears and I tried to take all the bits off of him, until I got to the bit which holds the spinning top, which had landed point down and was stuck in his head.

God I'm shaking typing this, I feel so sick at the thought of it.

I started to panic and pulled the bit out, and his head bled for a couple of minutes while we grabbed everything to take him to hospital.

By the time we got to A&E (where they were brilliant) there was no bleeding and he was giggling and smiling at us all like normal. The dr had a look at the wound and said it wasn't very deep and was over a bony bit (thank God); and then checked him all over and said he was fine and a happy little chap and told us to take him home. Obviously we have to keep an eye on him, but they said he looked absolutely fine, barring the little cut.

Anyway, I was just about calming down when my parents called to ask why we hadn't come by, so I explained what had happened and my mum started yelling all kinds of things along the lines of "how the f did you let that happen?", "what the f were you two playing at?" etc. Now I get that she was worried about the baby, but it wasn't very helpful.

Then she started saying that they would report us to social services, and that we'll be in loads of trouble, and that we'll be investigated etc etc.

I've pretty much been crying ever since, and I've never felt to sick and worried in my life.

Will they investigate us? What on earth do we do? I'm furious with DH, it could have been so much worse, but it was an accident, and he was crying having to explain it to the doctor.

Sorry this is so long, I'm so upset by the whole thing, I don't really know what to do.

Please try not to worry, your baby is fine and we have all done stupid things.....

I dropped 4 week old DD2 face down onto coffee table - I was diving across to save DD1 who had just turned 2 from braining herself but somehow dropped DD1 in the mess. Blood everywhere, I was DISTRAUGHT. Trip to A&E obviously. DD2 was fine. Aged around 10 months DD2 climbed out of her highchair and landed headfirst on the hard floor (blood everywhere, A&E again smashed nose and follow up appointments with ear/nose/throat specialist), at 12 months she was bouncing on her sister's bed and bounced off head first into the corner of the bedside table, hurting her face very badly (A&E AGAIN). It was only after this 3rd head injury that they completely stripped her to examine every nook and cranny for bruises and called HV (who left me a phone message but didn't visit). Her 4th head injury and 4th trip to A&E (aged 2, scooted top speed down a hill smack into a wall and smashed her nose AGAIN, more follow up appts with ENT specialists), didn't raise an eyebrow.

DD1 and DS have never had any injuries meriting visits to A&E, not sure what it is about DD2.

A&E see hundreds of stupid accidents, I think they generally have a pretty good sense of what is a genuine with a reasonable explanation and what seems suspicious.

Aaw, how horrible for you. :(

Glad your baby is okay. :)

I once crouched down to DS1 who was grizzling in a baby walker, right in the doorway, and lifted him up out and above my head - using my whole body, legs and all - slamming his head full pelt into the doorframe.

He inhaled to scream, then got stuck like that for what seemed like forever, then let out the biggest, piercing scream ever.

Straight to A&E we went, me blubbing to DH the entire journey 'I slammed his head full pelt, full pelt, I've probably cracked his skull!'

I thought if his skull was damaged they would never believe how it happened, anything could have hit his head.

They checked him, he was fine, I was still not, we got a letter from the HV to say our child was in A&E with a 'head injury' did we want to meet about it?

I didn't meet about it - I already felt a prize pillock without telling someone else all about it.

We had to take ds2 to A&E on his his 1st birthday, turns out he had a broken leg poor lamb (managed to climb on the sofa and fell off the arm, sliding down the wall in the process).

We had kind of a child protection "interview" thing with the paediatric registrar, which she said was standard for broken bones under 18 months. There was another child there with a broken arm who had the same thing.

She was really nice, they asked loads of questions, who lived in the house, where we worked, medical/social history, other accidents etc. She also examined him nekkid and talked to our other children.

It was all fine though and she had no concerns, we were asked what happened about a million times by different people though, I guessed that was to check for consistancy.

It does make you feel paranoid and shit, but I suppose missing an abused child is worse than making people feel crap.

I doubt they would refer you, and I would have thought that they would have to tell you if they were going to refer you???

It's a bit bizarre for a cover up story anywayn

Glad your ds is ok, and ignore your mother.

I hope you get to move overseas, failing that, get yourself a large veggie patch - you are going to need somewhere to hide the body!!

Honestly, does your Mum ever think before she speaks? Fancy getting you into this state... daft mare!!

Honestly, it will all be OK. It was an accident and that's all. SS have enough to do without making a mountain out of a molehill :) Shame your mother doesn't

that sounded painful OP, just look here see what we have all done as parents!
and stop feeling guilty

It was a pretty daft thing for the DH to do though lifting a coffee table with hard objects on it over a baby's head. Really prattish and IMO in a different league to a genuine tripping up accident/adventurous crawler falling over type incident that everyone is quick to trot out.Not saying the granny was justified but part of me can see where shes coming from.

We ended up at 2 different A&E's in one weekend and there was no problem. In fact the 2nd dc said "get used to it,we'll be seeing a lot of you over the next few years"(twin boys).

As everyone else says, they will send a report to your HV and GP who will probably do nothing. My children (now 6 and 7) have both required admission to hospital in the past 18 months as a result of accidents. I have had phonecalls from a nurse who works for the LEA to check if everything was OK as they had received a report and the dcs were off school. The nurse was a lovely lady. Never heard anything else from anyone else.

Are you able to tell your mother how hurtful her intervention was and how unecessary?

My DD is 12 weeks. When she was 5 weeks I was carrying her in a sling walking the dogs. My spaniel came to heel but accidently too far and went in front of me. I tripped over him and fell right on my DD on a pavement. She fractured her skull and had a small brain bleed and a contrecoup bleed also. A GP surgery was 50 yards away and I ran straight in and they referred me to the childrens day clinic at the hospital. DD had an over night stay for observations and has been a little diamond since, recovering brilliantly. I got a call from the HV, no SS....they really shouldn't be called the SS it doesn't sound right!

I was in pieces and my DH was a star, so supportive.

When dd2 trapped her fingers in the door and took the skin of them the A and E doctor was asking very strange questions about hamsters we don't own and our dogs. I was convinced they thought she had been bitten by something and would send SS around, but they didn't. He was probably just chatting to her to calm her down, after she told him about her imaginary tigers.

Sounds like you have had a horrible scare, both of you. But no real harm done, I would be more cross at your mum for laying the guilt trip on you for something which was essentially an accident, even if it was a bit careless of your DH.

Hope you've all calmed down by now. Enjoy a nice glass of wine and try and forget about it.

They can see straight through people when an injury and the circumstances do not add up -they have had a lot of experience. My friend dislocated his DDs elbows (both within the space of a week -both complete accidents - no follow up).
Your Mother sounds lovely -what a nice turn of phrase she has.

Thanks so much for sharing and helping me to feel better. I've been having a look at the other thread lisa, it's made me feel a bit better.

Elsa that much have been awful for you, I'm glad to hear she's better now!

Unfortunately I'm terrible at dealing with my mother, I've basically just caved in under years of it, and can't face it anymore. On a plus side, I'm now better at just refusing to speak to her. But it does mean my Dad will be on my case for being rude to her

My worst fear is that I will gradually turn into her....

Anyway, my mother is a whole other thread :)

Thanks so much everyone.

I remember when I was 19 and I broke my back in an accident. I rang my mum from my hospital bed and told her what had happened, her response - "you fuscking stupid bitch".

She's not normally so bad but I think was so shocked, upset......

So glad you have calmed down, not helpful of your mother, really.

DD1 once walked off the top of a slide the wrong way, and fell 5 foot to the ground. at 15 months.

I took her to A and E and got a call from the HV to ask wtf she was doing 5 foot up a wall. When I explained it was a slide she relaxed and said 'I thought it was odd, we always get hospital records as they dept pass them onto the gp to go on the child's records, but I thought I should follow this one up!'

Viva... when i was 17 i was attacked in a club and had my face sliced open. My dad opened the door at 3am to two police men and to this day doesn't remember a single thing they said to him except the name of the hospital i was in... he closed the door in their faces and went upstairs, got dressed and drove to the hospital... completely failing to tell my mother what happened! She still has never forgiven him!

People do odd things when they're shocked...

am still waiting for ds2's first a&e visit at 18months. maybe he'll time it for when i'm in labour with dc3?? he climbs on everything he can and bumps his head several times a day, and likes to somersault over things. what is it with 2nd children?! ds1 cut his head open twice within weeks at 15months so we got phone calls from the hv's after the a&e reports were sent.

I am reading this thread having spent a few hours in A&E today. On Monday dd took a little tumble at mother in laws house. MIL didn't think anything of it and actually reported thats she thought she had ear ache. We gave her some Calpol and settled her down for the night, she was a bit cranky but we put this down to being a bit tired. I could not see any discrarge from her ear so was not concerned.

In the morning we realised she did not want to weight bare. Off we went to A&E. Six hours later after x-rays a.d a blood test in case of irritable hip a sprained ankle was the diagnosis.

This morning we received a letter from them to say that they had reviewed the x-ray and found a tiny fracture of the tibia. To take her to fracture clinic on Monday, and don't let her walk on it. This after telling us to encourage her to walk! Bugger waiting until Monday, we took her back today. She now has a back slab cast.

My concern is that the initial consultation was all a bit confussed. Sprained ankle that we really didn't know the details of, which then turned out to be a fracture. I have a tendancy to fret and have been worried about SS calling. Hopefully that wont be the case. DD is almost 5 (she has learning difficulties) so isn't able to say how it happened though.

heyah my son had a accident where he burnt his arm on my firequard tryin to reach his christmas stocking hes 2 yr old they told me they have 2 inform hv but scared incase they get ss involved if anyone could help me !

This is an old thread *

gemma - I took my DS to A&E after a scald, they did notify my health visitor, but she basically phoned me up and said, do you need any advice on baby safety?

I said "No, I'll be really careful and it won't ever happen again, honest"

No SS involved. As far as I know.

My dd fell onto a glass vase at around 18m old she cut her head an ambulance was called as it was so severe and she had to have surgery under general anaesthetic to fix it. She was fine nobody called ss as accidents happen. Don't stress about it, they can probably work out that you obviously love and care for your child and don't wish him any harm.

Don't worry even if you are reported. I get the impression that referral from A&E is quite 'tick boxy' and they are human; they will know accidents do happen.

Your DH will have his 'potential for accident' specs on full time now, I expect! So some good will come of it.

When dd fell off a slide and ended up unconscious, the HV rang me the next day to check that we were ok. Even in my traumatised state I recognised it for what it was: a kindly offer of support.

I recently dropped 2yo DS while we were playing around, giving him a piggyback. He couldn't walk on it so we had to take him to A&E, where I had to repeat the story again to each and every person!

I imagine that the HV was told but that's just a safeguarding measure so if there had been lots of suspicious injuries etc that it could be highlighted. I think all A&E visits by under 5s are reported to the HV and referred to SS if any concerns as they probably have a wider picture of the family than an individual A&E doctor.

The HV has never been in touch.