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to kill all the spiders?

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bessarabiantiger Sat 29-Aug-15 16:17:53

We live in the country, we're very lucky with our house and we've been here two years. There's a lake on the property and with lakes come mosquito hoardes (fine, live and let live, we knew about this when ee took the place, and with mosquito hoardes come spiders.

I am alright with most types of spider, I allow Huntsman (? Spindly legged) in every room as they're no bother and keep the mossies down when we have the windows open. Brown recluse get ejected with a glass & cardboard or eaten by the cat.

This year we have a problem with false widows and a kind we've never seen before. They are awful. Striped and with extra long front legs, they shamble across the ceiling as if they're drunk & often fall in your drink/dinner/hair.

We now have around 80 of the fuckers in the kitchen. They are making nests. For many people this wouldn't even be an issue. But me being me I've said to myself, well the windows are open, they aren't scaring me on purpose (even after the night I walked into the kitchen without turning the lights on and had one who was making a web land on my face. ARGH!) Etc. Etc.

We've used every natural repellant going. From plug-in spider scarers (knew they were bullshit but was at wits end last sept) to conkers, peppermint oil, spider hoover, removing them all outside (shudder. That was a horrible day) only to find a new gang there in the morning.

After me and DH being bitten this week (him on the neck, me on the hand WHILST ASLEEP IN BED! Hand swelled up for the next 24 hours, yes, it was a spider, found it crawling down my leg) I have finally and very reluctantly bought spider poison.

I am hoping someone can offer a better solution before I have to use it. DS has mild asthma and am worried about the effect on him (we will evacuate for the day after use) and it's an aersol as well as a poison. It sounds silly, but I've only ever used aerosol twice- the ozone layer was so drummed into me at school it feels akin to pooping straight down a whales blow hole!

AIBU to kill the spiders so they stop biting us? Has anyone got any other solution?

We break webs and remove visible offenders bi-daily BTW.

DonkeyOaty Sat 29-Aug-15 16:25:57


I would burn down house tbh

DonkeyOaty Sat 29-Aug-15 16:27:05

Ooops meant to say YANBU, get on and kill 'em. Fuckers.

Oysterbabe Sat 29-Aug-15 16:28:47

Yanbu. Nuke them.
If it doesn't work burn down the house.

bessarabiantiger Sat 29-Aug-15 16:29:03

I have considered giving them a tenancy agreement on the condition they stop biting everyone. I will live in the attic with the bats...

bessarabiantiger Sat 29-Aug-15 16:30:02

It will read 'I for one welcome our new arachnid overlords'.

hudyerwheesht Sat 29-Aug-15 16:30:55

Urgh, those stripy ones are bastards. Every year I find more nests of them and by September I can't get the kids in the garden because the now adult bastards are everywhere, covering the swings in their website.
Luckily for us there are not many inside but if there was and we were having the kind of trouble you are, I wouldn't hesitate.
Good luck.

hudyerwheesht Sat 29-Aug-15 16:31:48

Website, grin

dementedma Sat 29-Aug-15 16:33:34

Kill them all!

bessarabiantiger Sat 29-Aug-15 16:35:23

If the spiders have a website do you think I can contact the webmaster & serve eviction notice? They also shit on everything. Anyone who hasn't experienced the greasy horror of spider poop is a lucky person.

airside Sat 29-Aug-15 16:36:01

hoover them all up inside - an actual real hoover not some half hearted spider thing

hose down the outside of the house round the windows and use a soft brush in all the corners of window frame to get rid of webs/nests there too or they will just wander in again

encourage a healthy bird population to keep the mossies down

i worry about a can of spider poison for the reasons you mention, plus it might kill birds or whatever which eat the dead spiders

Oysterbabe Sat 29-Aug-15 16:36:12

Lol @ website. Annoying how much those fuckers spam trying to get hits.

hudyerwheesht Sat 29-Aug-15 16:39:48

Spider's poop? Really?
<mind boggles>

bessarabiantiger Sat 29-Aug-15 16:42:48

Thanks everyone. Airside I jet wash the outside regularly because of this, and we remove all visible buggers by hand (they seem to be living in the light fittings & getting in down the chimneys) every other day. Am going to implement any and all advice before resorting to poison though.

Whilst wearing a bee-keeping suit in bed.

bessarabiantiger Sat 29-Aug-15 16:44:06

Hudyer- I'll take a picture in about an hour. It's like tiny balls of meconium all over the laundry/windowsills.

wheelycote Sat 29-Aug-15 16:47:44

Oooh my goodness!!!!!

I thought my spider cellar was traumatic....they were mid size and only a few big ones......but a lot of them....thankfully never had one knowingly land in hair/drink or bitten. It was like they were moving in and evicting me so I hoovered everyone I found. Felt bad. sounds like they're taking over....not just a simple problem....Hoover them up...and their nests...quick sharp.

airside Sat 29-Aug-15 16:49:26

Jet wash won't do it. You've got to prise the little fuckers out of the corners.
Removing them is no good - they are house spiders and if left alive will just toddle back to the nearest house.
I'm not genocidal by nature but I make an exception for anything trying to invade my house!

bessarabiantiger Sat 29-Aug-15 16:56:31

Airside - we're the only house for half a mile. If they're house spiders do you think it's feasible to deliver them to nearest neighbour in the guise of a... piñata or similar? Will invest in proper brush though, thank you. Option on bee keeper suit for bedtime. DH will be thrilled. smile

bessarabiantiger Sat 29-Aug-15 17:04:35

Wheely - they have weird sticky peach- coloured nests that won't hoover? Or brush. The only way I've removed one is by fingernail (after all the wine & was nearly sick)

airside Sat 29-Aug-15 18:34:02

Pinata idea made me giggle.

Just as long as you're not my neighbour!

dementedma Sat 29-Aug-15 19:25:06

Where do you live OP?
<hopes fervently it isn't near me>
I love autumn but hate the huge fucking house spiders which come in.Today we got up to find the sitting room door shut and a sign from Ds saying, "huge spider in my room. Am sleeping in here. Help!"

KenAdams Sat 29-Aug-15 19:29:12

Huntsmans?! I really hope you're posting from Australia!

hackmum Sat 29-Aug-15 19:30:20

Op, if it was me, I'd have run 500 miles by now.

I don't suppose that helps.

hudyerwheesht Sat 29-Aug-15 19:42:04

I hate, hate, hate those fucking huge house spiders. I have a size-related tolerance when it comes to spiders and they are way beyond my threshold. DH and I had an argument last week because he refused to kill one. The fact that he put the life of an insect before the fear of his family still grates.

Btw I wasn't mind-boggled by the fact that spiders do poop, just that it's apparently visible to the eye.

sliceofsoup Sat 29-Aug-15 19:42:27

DH and I have just pulled out all the sofas in search of the huge spider that ran across the floor. There was no way we could relax in here knowing he was there. I killed him with a brush and I am not afraid to say it. The thing was about an inch off the floor when running, no exaggeration.

I don't actually mind the big spindly ones, and actually we had one beside the shower that I left there as it didn't move much. And there was a little one under the skirting that would peek out when we were on the loo. We named him Boris.

But after tonight's visitor they are all getting hoovered and the windows outside will be washed and de-spidered. When the spiders are running at me it is game over.

If a spider dropped into my hair I would be moving house.

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