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Ridiculous, embarrassing accidents/injuries..

(261 Posts)
FlouncyMcFlouncer Wed 28-Aug-13 22:05:47

I have just trapped a nipple between two plastic laundry baskets and almost severed it. Unbelievably painful, unbelievably embarrassing to tell anyone about in RL!!

Make me feel better by telling me your humiliating mishaps? Happy to bask in the warmth of other's distress grin

AlpacaLypse Mon 06-Jul-15 17:21:21

I've just read half this thread with a weird sense of de ja vu, before realising that I'd actually contributed to it several times under at least two different old usernames - that's how long it's been running on and off!

chanelfreak Mon 06-Jul-15 17:06:49

My first MN post!

About 18 months ago, I was upstairs putting away laundry while DH was out at a client dinner. One of the dogs was being a brat, stealing socks and whatnot and she decided to tear off downstairs with my lovely, new, expensive bra.

I gave chase and promptly slipped at the top of the stairs, tumbled violently down them all arse over tit and ended up in a bloody heap at the bottom. I didn't have my phone on me so I had to wait, in complete agony and unable to move a muscle until DH staggered home drunk as a lord about 4 hours later.

He untangled me, causing shrieks which had the little bugger of a dog howling in chorus and I limped my way to A&E. Didnt break anything thank god, but I was COVERED from head to toe in bruises and my bottom has never been the same. Also, while I was in A&E, DH was blissfully snoring like a drunken fool. Was so tempted to leave him there.

derxa Sat 04-Jul-15 15:57:50

Frightening at the time but can 'laugh' now. My DS (aged 6) still had the habit of putting things in his mouth. Unfortunately he partially swallowed the Monopoly dog. It didn't travel to his stomach because its feet got stuck in his throat. Had to go into hospital to get it removed. The hospital gave us back the dog in a sample jar.

cjt110 Tue 02-Jun-15 16:25:10

I once decided the big blue beanbag in Ikea looked fun to run at and jump into. Beanbag it was not. It was a big inflatable thing. Cue me bouncing off the other side in the middle on Ikea on a Saturday.

Only the other day I forgot we had put baby oil in the bath for DS. One leg in bath, other out of bath. Side of bath about 6" wide and tiled, cue bath leg sliding everywhere and a MAHOOSIVE bruise on outside leg.

My Grandma when I was a kid coming out of her friends house with potted plants in her hand. Me, my Mum and brother sat in the car. Next minute I heard THUD and grandma had disappeared. A few seconds later I see her scrabbling up from the kerb covered in soil and her hair everywhere. I was so distraught I was crying, my mum was laughing and my brother just sat there and didnt know what to do! I remember about 30 mins later, her still wiping soil off herself including her ear holes lol

My Grandad has a false eye after an accident. Once being in a hospital canteen me him and my cousin and he had some pure orange. So sour it made him squint. Cue me and cousin (maybe about 6/7) scrabbling around the floor looking for his eye!

babblinginbrazil Mon 01-Jun-15 21:17:31

My first post on MN! Great thread, thought I'd add me own story.

I was getting out of DH's van to open the gate at my mum's house one night. My handbag strap had become wound around my foot and of course I fell out, shattering my ankle. I've been skiing, climbed mountains but I break my ankle in the most meaningless, stupidest way possible! I managed to keep dessert in tact. Never eaten pineapple cake since.

My ex, as a child, was sliding down something in the garden and got stuck on a nail, ripping the crown jewels. Ouchy

MrsGideon Tue 12-May-15 17:16:36

I dislocated my knee at Uni crouching down in very tight jeans to get a bag of broccoli out of the freezer

I also know someone who broke his wrist tripping over a flapjack


TinkerTailorSoldierSpy Tue 12-May-15 08:38:46

Had been for a run on the beach with the dogs. The car park was pretty quiet so I decided to quickly whip off my sweaty top and put a hoody on. But as I pulled the top up my shoulder dislocated and I couldn't move, sweaty old bra fully on show. Luckily a camper van full of people pulled in at that moment and helped me get sorted. hmmgrin

HRHwheezing Tue 11-Feb-14 18:46:06

In my student days I was staying in digs and the blokes down stairs were partital to playing 24 hours from Tulsa very loudly.

In jest, although later I didn't see the funny side. I used a broom to bang hard on the floor below.

My fatal mistake was I was not wearing any shoes and the broom met my toes with such a force as to break them.

Gene Pitney has never been the same.

Elfers Tue 11-Feb-14 10:23:45

On a chilly visit to the parents (aged about 28), it snowed and the hill they lived on was like a sheet of ice, so my sister and I decided to relive our childhood sledging fun....however I had forgotten the delicate art of steering and was heading for the thick hedge at the verge. Instead of just rolling off, I put my arm out to save me and cracked my elbow on the frozen road so hard a massive lump and bruise covered my entire arm. The funny part is my ruddy sister laughed so hard she actually wet herself, and her uncomfortable comedy walk back up the hill to the house was quite something.... Same sister is also responsible for throwing a bar of soap at me in temper just as we were leaving to go on holiday, resulting in a massive fat lip - bless her.

PricillaQueenOfTheDessert Tue 11-Feb-14 00:09:32

Years ago an ex-colleague spent ages trying to get me to leave my job to work for her company. Eventually I agreed when they offered me a fantastic package because she'd bigged me up so much.
The weekend before I was due to start, my roomie from uni came to visit. We got absolutely wasted and went back to a house party, where I stupidly started a water fight. On wood laminate flooring, I slipped, smacked my head on the ground and knocked myself out. When I came round, I had chipped my front teeth, broken my arm and had a perfectly formed purple black eye around my entire eye socket.
I can still picture the look on my new colleague's faces when I turned up for work on the Monday morning - this much-anticipated, uber multi-skilled professional with a comedy black eye and arm in a sling.

TiredyMcTired Mon 10-Feb-14 21:44:39

I broke my leg after running away from a clown in a circus who was trying to get me with a giant ticking stick. I ran up the stairs and as I turned to get into the seating I slipped and fell about 8 feet through the gap under the seats. I couldn't move so the circus people had to manhandle a hole in the side of the big top for the ambulance people to get me out.

JumpingJackSprat Mon 27-Jan-14 21:17:03

I used to work in a pet shop and I was cleaning out the hamsters when I got bitten by a Roborovski hamster- which are very small, fast, bad tempered little things. He bit me through my thumbnail and wouldn't let go. He was literally just dangling off my thumb. When I managed to get it off the little bugger dropped a foot or two onto the table and legged it completely unhurt while my thumb with puncture wounds on both sides started pouring blood. I had to catch it in a room full of animal cages. Took me about an hour if I recall. Couldn't admit to my colleagues what had bit me so I told them it was the unhandled african grey instead of the smallest animal in the place.

JumpingJackSprat Mon 27-Jan-14 21:13:13

I used to work in a pet shop and I was cleaning out the hamsters when I got bitten by a Roborovski hamster- which are very small, fast, bad tempered little things. He bit me through my thumbnail and wouldn't let go. He was literally just dangling off my thumb. When I managed to get it off the little bugger dropped a foot or two onto the table and legged it completely unhurt while my thumb with puncture wounds on both sides started pouring blood. I had to catch it in a room full of animal cages. Took me about an hour if I recall. Couldn't admit to my colleagues what had bit me so I told them it was the unhandled african grey instead of the smallest animal in the place.

vole3 Mon 27-Jan-14 07:08:39

Only just found this and have spent the last half hour crying.

Two stories to add - bunking off general studies went to Sainsburys with my friend. She didn't notice that the automatic door hadn't opened, walked straight into it and knocked herself out.
Second is a cautionary tale about button flies - got the call to take a uni hall of residences friend and her boyfriend up to A&E as he had drunkenly buttoned himself up through the foreskin. She had to sit in the backseat of the car applying pressure to the wound to stop the bleeding.

CoolItKittens Sun 20-Oct-13 23:48:49

Walking two greyhounds at a rescue kennel. Dog one pulled to the left, dog two pulled to the right, both my feet left the ground and I ended up flat on my face between them! Quickly picked myself up and thought I'd got away with it until the lady who ran the kennel shouted the length of the yard "are you ok Kittens?!" blush

bunglecat77 Sun 20-Oct-13 18:52:07

Some real corkers here - I'm shaking with laughter while trying to BF DS... Thought I'd share one of mine.

At uni, after an orchestra rehearsal I was supposed to be putting the chairs away. But being students, my friend and I were having one of those random discussions about childhood games. Leapfrog, to be precise. She dared me to leapfrog along the remaining row of chairs. And being a show off, I gave it a go - in time to music, seeing as someone was practising the piano in the room at the time.

It might have been OK, except that the music was quite fast, I built up a bit more momentum than I'd anticipated, and the last chair was a bit too close to the concrete wall that separated the practice room from the corridor...

I flew into the wall face first and slid down it, landing in a giggling (if somewhat winded) heap on the floor. Fifteen years later, my friend still cries with laughter whenever she remembers it.

Fionar71 Sun 20-Oct-13 14:52:15

I went to DNiece's christening (I'm one of her godparents) parked the car and went to restaurant for the party; shortly afterwards realised I'd left her gift and card in the car (not on display) and went to get them.

Caught my foot in an advert that was on the ground (stupid place to put plastic adverts but who knows where they got their wisdom from), fell and, as I landed, caught one arm on an Armco barrier that's there to stop the cars rolling down the ramp and into the lift shaft. Cue cut at top of arm/armpit that bled quite a bit. Grazed knees and sore other arm

Back to party and, after some first aid, pain relief and alcohol sort of enjoyed myself while ignoring the ache in my other arm. Time to leave and went to move arm but found I couldn't rotate my wrist. Taken to hospital by DM & DF (the hospital I worked in at the time) and had to explain what I'd done.

Firstly told by new junior Dr that it was just a sprain and nothing to worry about but had to wait for senior Dr to come and authorise my discharge. Senior Dr returned and Junior Dr told him of her decision, he looked at the X-ray to confirm no injury then asked her if she knew what a red dot on an X-ray meant - she said "yes, a fracture". He pointed to the words on the X-ray - I'd fractured my radius bone right up by my elbow joint.

When allowed to leave A&E I had to walk up to the ward I worked on and explain I wouldn't be in for the foreseeable future because of injury - ended up being off work for 9 weeks!!


FTRscreamingInTerror Sun 20-Oct-13 10:30:19

Broke little finger trying to catch then 2yr old DS as he flung himself at me from the sofa, the pain gave me such a shock I dropped him blush oops
Since it was the 22nd of December it made wrapping the rest of the gifts tricky with 2 fingers strapped together hmm

Theunincredibles Sat 12-Oct-13 20:18:54

Fell asleep naked for a few hours on a balcony in Tenerife when I was a teen, woke up with a hideously burnt backside and couldn't sit properly for weeks. The flight back was agony.

On my first date with my now husband we went for a meal, I had lasagne and the dish was very hot! I loaded my fork and somehow managed to burn my wrist on the dish, I screamed and flung the loaded fork across the restaurant. We left very very quickly and DH likes nothing better than to tell people of out first date.

Cupcakeannie77 Sat 12-Oct-13 20:05:39

I worked in A&E, it was a week before Xmas and 3am. A mother walks her 17 year old son in who was clutching his crotch area. I was sat on triage and asked for details. He'd had one too many and after a trip to la'trine he'd pulled his zipper up a tad too fast and had full scrotal entrapment. Because he'd had so much alcohol we couldn't give him anaesthesia so with a swift yank and a LOT of gauze three of us managed to release him. We sent him on his way with a prescription for paracetamol and instructions to only buy buttoned trousers!

Moghedia Thu 10-Oct-13 12:45:44

Went to a theme park with school wearing jeans. Started a surprise period in the line for a ride, and had to walk all the way back to the end. By the time I was in the bathroom my pants were all stained with blood, which then dried and spent the whole day chafing my thighs smile

spudthegoose Wed 09-Oct-13 00:47:21

I must of been around 2 or 3 at the time - for some reason (don't ask why) I'd decided to sit in a plastic mop bucket (the type with a bit on the end for the mop head to be drained) and when it to getting back out... I was stuck. My feet were wedged under the mop-head bit and I couldn't budge. It ended up in a trip to A&E for the bucket to be cut in half and myself extracted - never lived it down [Blush]

Shelley33 Thu 05-Sep-13 21:10:23

I once walked into a revolving door, I was so busy checking out my reflection, I hadn't noticed it had stopped revolving, had a lovely bruise right in the middle of my forehead.

Work as a nanny, a couple of jobs back I was working on a farm, going up the lane to collect eldest charge from school with 3yr old and 2yr old in tow, I heard a bee buzzing in my hair, I flapped at it, and managed somehow to knock it down my top where it was now perched on my boob, I whipped my top off and flapped it wildly at the bee which shifted to my arm and promptly stung me. My 2 charges stood googled eyed at my weird half naked dancing, whilst I tried not to cry at the pain of the sting.

The best bit is, just slightly further down the lane was an elderly gentleman releasing his racing pigeons, his eyes were on stalks, I had a flesh coloured bra on, so looked like I wasn't wearing one, think he thought it was his lucky day...

oinktopus Tue 03-Sep-13 22:41:17

crazyhamster You have insane rodents. That's a better name than I've ever had.

BramblyHedge Tue 03-Sep-13 22:35:56

I split my lip open with a refresher bar.

I tried to pole vault over a pedestrian barrier on Mile End Rd and got my ankle stuck in the rail. My now DH had to untangle me.

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