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Perimenopause and “ Sex Surge”

(10 Posts)
SpiritedLondon Wed 03-Jan-18 17:54:16

Ok so I’m not sure if I shouldn’t have name changed for this. I have been married to my DH for 12 years but we have been sexless for about 6 of those years. I would say that we have moved into the “ friends zone “ but I have generally had a low libido over that time so have felt untroubled by this. During the last couple of months I have experienced some changes in my period ( closer together and shorter) and have had low moods and irritability which I guess indicate a move towards menopause. Another pretty terrifying symptom is the massive increase in my libido - almost uncontrollable. I’ve looked online and discovered a website which refers to this as a midlife sex surge. Has anyone else experienced anything like this and come through the other side? It sounds like a good problem to have ( in comparison to no libido) but I have nowhere to put these feelings and feel to desperate and scared that I’m going to do something life destroying. Any help would be appreciated.

ohfortuna Fri 05-Jan-18 20:11:00

Yes that happened to me, I was rampant for about 7 years and then after menopause my sex drive just dropped off a cliff
I have no advice sorry 🤤

goodbeans Fri 05-Jan-18 21:44:44

Yes, this is definitely “a thing“! You say that you have nowhere to put these feelings, but what was it that rendered your marriage sexless: could it be reversed?

Zuma76 Tue 27-Feb-18 21:35:15

I know I am joining this chat late but I am experiencing the exact same thing with the same problems. I cannot stop fantasising about sex and it’s not with my husband. Argh.

Fanjoferrets Tue 13-Mar-18 11:00:02

I am 41 and am in a similar situation. The surge hit a few days ago and i feel like a conplete horny letch. 'Relations' have resumed with a tired and now sore DH and a 20 yr old vibrator. As soon as we are finished i am ready to go again...and again...and again.... best i have managed is approx an hour of relative calm before i become a massive nerve ending again.
I am currently waiting at home for a rampant rabbit and feeling annoyed that i don't now when it is coming because i also want to nip out for lube, a bumper pack of condoms and a durex 'bullet'.
I was a horny teen but right now is insane! I am torn between wanting a bit of calm or worrying that this will pass soon and i will never want sex ever again 😨

Fanjoferrets Tue 13-Mar-18 11:00:41

Urg, know not now... can't even think straight!

Pulipatchouli Sat 17-Mar-18 18:56:31

I am experiencing this and feel awful about it. I just feel filthy.
All my research on perimenopause says lack of libido. Well I've never felt so horny.
I just don't know myself and wish it would end. I'm 47, and have been like it for a year.

Mammysin Sat 17-Mar-18 19:05:17

I'm early 40s and have this incredible sex drive despite my depression. It was incredibly exhausting, particularly at the start, and I really felt at the mercy of my hormones.

1966gettingold Sun 18-Mar-18 07:06:12

mimibunz Sun 18-Mar-18 07:13:41

Ugh, I had this at 48. Fortunately I didn’t do anything to ruin my marriage or life but it was scary and confusing. I do tend to think that things that are intense burn out faster, at least mine did. Maybe take up running? Or horseback riding? grin Sorry, I’ll show myself out.

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