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mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

(1000 Posts)
CaipirinhasAllRound Fri 13-Jan-12 18:51:14

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

highlove Thu 19-Jan-12 22:29:40

Hi notnow and missbright, thanks I appreciate it, though I don't think my story is any more or less awful than's a tragedy for each of us no matter how it all comes about. It's been really tough but then again I've only really been trying just over a year and I'm already on my third go at Clomid and have had the lap and dye etc...if that hideousness hadn't happened it could easily have been another two years before I got to those, and then I'd be that bit older, etc etc etc. Whatever, it's ShitBoat for us all.

missbrightside Fri 20-Jan-12 09:29:29

Thank you for the link to the inspirational stories.

(I'm glad I hadn't just done my eye make up when I read it !)

Hope everyone has something nice planned for the weekend.


notnowImreading Fri 20-Jan-12 18:20:37

I hate inspirational stories! Can't bring myself to read them as am too grumpy.

Come on then, shipmates, tell me a bit about yourselves. Anything as long as it's not womb-related. Intrigue me with odd facts. I'll go first:
Teacher (not a great one but get on well with teenagers so usually muddle through)

Two cats, one of which has been savaged by a bad cat and has a big, disgusting hole in his face

Spend much too much on toiletries and am filled with self-loathing and material guilt but still can't manage to put on make up that looks any better than 'you look a bit less knackered today'

Reader - all the time, pretty much anything. Very embarrassed about some of the crap that crosses my bedside table. I can read proper literature and usually like it, but swallow up the cheap stuff in tesco like a shark swallowing car number plates (just watched Jaws)

Get cold really easily so am defeated by fashion as always want to put a cardi on, no matter what the occasion. Have to buy a dress tomorrow for a dressy party tomorrow night and have no idea what to get. Haven't been out-out for months and months.

Have a degree in ancient Greek but can't remember any of it. Fat lot of good that did me, although it was fun at the time

Swear a lot, in what passes for a posh voice around here. I get away with murder

Favourite colour - green
Favourite drink - white wine
Favourite food - Christmas cake
Favourite film - Raiders of the Lost Ark
Favourite music - Nina Simone

3 word description of self: clever, clumsy, slightly-ridiculous-most-of-the-time

Just thought we ought to remember who WE are when we're not being rubbish wombs on legs.

LibrarianAli Fri 20-Jan-12 22:38:09

Right, I'm going to finally leap (or rather belly flop) onto a thread after months of lurking and toe dipping.

So first the important stuff...
Favourite colour; Red. I love red shoes. I think because my mother always said they're slutty.
Favourite drink. Gin, tea, golden rum, single malt, more tea
Favourite food. Dippy egg & soldiers
Favourite film, The Day After Tomorrow (I love apocalypse films & a weather apocalypse is my preferred kind)
Favourite music, Pixies, Belle & Sebastian, Nick Cave

Incidental to all that, I'm 34, married 3 yrs and attempts to knock me up are being thwarted by a ridiculous 56 day cycle. Having acupuncture to help with that and booked bloodtests today which is a bit scary.

Oh and I'm currently reading Caitlyn Moran's "How to be a Woman"

Nice to meet you!

CaipirinhasAllRound Sat 21-Jan-12 01:03:47

Glad to have found everyone!

I don't really have a story. Been trying for just over 2 years and nothing's happened at all. I've got my HSG on Wednesday following ok test results so far. I have a ridiculous NHS consultant or told DH to buy me flowers and told me to read up on things that interest DH so we have something to talk about!

I'm 34, DH is 37. We've been married almost 5 years and had a year long honeymoon travelling.

Favourite drink. Love a nice strong black coffee, red wine and rum
Favourite food. thai, indian, greek, there's not much I don't love to be honest

I do ballet once a week and love live music although don't see much now. We're going through a live comedy phase at the moment

I applied and auditioned to be a performer of some kind in the Olympic opening or closing ceremony. My second audition was as a dancer in the closing ceremony and I was appalling! I heard today that I'm in the reserve list

I love travelling and planning where to go next and now I know I'm not in the Olympics we're thinking of where we can go this year


missbrightside Sat 21-Jan-12 12:07:45

Hello All !


Live on the South Coast - work in London so spent lots of time during the week sitting on/moaning about trains - Weekends usually see me rummaging around charity shops/car boot sales/jumbles buying yet more tat nice things - In my mind I look like a boho Kate Moss and have lots of interesting retro items (in reality I have lots of clothes that don't match/suit or fit and lots of .. err .. tat !!!) - Love all sorts of music and live gigs - love the theatre - love pubs. Strangely, don't like watching films ! Never have done ! I watch 1 (at a push 2 !) a year ! - Love all sorts of crafts - maintain I don't have time to do any of them - but seem to spend a rediculous amount of time looking on the internet at what other people have made ... ! My new years resolution was to start dressmaking but haven't managed to pull my finger out yet - love cats (but live in a garden-less flat and so don't have my own sad - love wine (not all that fussed what colour ... !)

Notnow - Enjoy your dressy party. Hope you got a dress sorted !

Librarian Ali - Hope your blood tests went well.

Caipirinhas - Sorry that you won't be dancing (but a holiday sounds much better !!)

missbrightside Sat 21-Jan-12 12:12:42

librarianAli* - Sorry, you actually said you had booked your blood tests not had them so ... err .... hope the booking went well blush

(I usually hate smiley face things - lo behold anyone who sends me one in a text - but can't stop doing them on here grin)


notnowImreading Sat 21-Jan-12 16:52:13

LibrarianAli 'red shoes, no knickers' according to my granny - sounds very good for ttc.

highlove Sat 21-Jan-12 17:26:56

Hi all, hope everyone's having a good weekend?


Favourite colour: red or pink, but a good solid bright pink, no girly pastel rubbish
Favourite drink: wine in all it's forms and proper tea (not together)
Favourite food: depends on my mood; I live, eat, sleep food; I love cooking and spend way too much time thinking about what to eat at my next meal

Love travelling and want to do more but never seem to get round to it. Love been outside in the countryside, walking or whatever.

Have a stressful job which I struggle to find much interest in any more - seems like since TTC I suddenly couldn't give a toss about the career that was so important.

Love reading though seem to spend far too much time surfing conception related crap on the Internet that I hardly ever get round to it.

My ideal night would be far too much very good wine and a fabulous meal with friends. A shame then that I'm trying to lose weight and massively cut down on booze to help with TTC. Don't have loads to lose, a stone/stone and half would be fine, and it at least makes me feel like I'm doing something positive..

highlove Sat 21-Jan-12 17:28:14

Being outside, not been. Obviously.

notnowImreading Sat 21-Jan-12 18:13:54

That sounds like my ideal night too.

highlove Sun 22-Jan-12 08:44:37

Great how TTC not only makes you go slightly batshit but also stops you doing the stuff you love.

notnowImreading Sun 22-Jan-12 09:32:57

That is too true. However, I am pleased to report that I did not allow ttc to stop me getting pissed at a party last night, nor has it stopped me taking paracetamol this morning. It was really nice getting dressed up and going dancing for a change. (Also got a nice shag even though it's not the right time grin)

CaipirinhasAllRound Sun 22-Jan-12 12:27:24

Notnow - I like your style! We had a long boozy lunch out with friends yesterday and I know I'm out drinking on Thursday and next Saturday too

Take that TTC! grin

highlove Sun 22-Jan-12 20:52:41

Yay good for you. I'm going out Friday and wine will be taken too. Actually my lovely consultant did say his prescription for me (alongside Clomid) was a large glass of wine didn't actually recommend two bottles so it must be like a medical fact or something that it is officially good for TTC.

missbrightside Mon 23-Jan-12 10:43:53

Your Consultant sounds like a very knowledgeable man ! Glad that there was lots of un-restrained wine drinking going on. I did refrain this weekend (not for TTC purposes - just had a quiet one) but did have far too many coffees .... (living life on the edge as usual !) Ha bloody ha to it all !

Right, decided that I would really try and focus at work this week. But already I'm loosing the will ...... !

CaipirinhasAllRound Wed 25-Jan-12 13:36:30

Had my HSG this morning. Wasn't as bad as I'd thought it might be although I feel a bir gruggy now...
The good news is my tubes are fine and so it's now just a matter of time. She did say that the HSG sometimes clears any small blockages that might have been here so fingers crossed!

missbrightside Wed 25-Jan-12 16:25:53

Am pleased to hear that it went well and that you had a good result. I agree, the thought of the HSG is far worse that the actual reality of it (not that I would volunteer to have it done again mind you .... !) I have read somewhere that you are thought to be more fertile for three months after having it done (although don't quote me on that - I probably read it on a very unligitimate source on the internet ... !)

I had a (little) step forward today as I managed to bring my consultant appointment forward to next week (there was a cancellation !) so am pleased about that. I haven't yet had full feedback on my HSG. You could see as it was being done that a tube was blocked (but that's the extent of what I was told).

Hope everyone is well and doing lots of non-ttc things !


Stasi Wed 25-Jan-12 17:39:37

Hi everyone, I thought I'd introduce myself instead of just lurking. I actually have a bit of an introduction story on my profile page, but the short version is:

Me and DH both 30, been ttc for 17 months (19 cycles). We started ttc on DH's birthday, after I got the all clear for cancer not returning. My blood tests have been done and are all fine, DH has some sperm quality issues, but not significant enough to cause a real problem. Have a HSG booked for mid Feb, which will decide our treatment plan. Either try longer, or IVF if there are problems. Due to the abdominal surgery with the cancer, there is a risk my tubes will have been damaged.

Apart from being young, and having had cancer, I've found ttc less stressful than most people on here. I don't have any friends with children, or who want them. I work in an office of all men, so no pg announcements there too, also no awkward questions.

About me.. well, I find my job dull and un-fulfilling, so have given up waiting for pg and ML, and am looking into courses to re-train as a midwife. It was meant to be a plan for after kids, but as that's taking so long I've decided to take my life back and do it anyway.

I'm not a big drinker, and not actually very sociable. I'm quite shy, and it takes me a long time to trust people enough to have fun in their company. So we have a small circle of close friends, but as DH and I are both computer people, all our friends are nerds, not clubbers smile

Fav colour: purple or blue, depends what's being coloured
Fav drink: tea, strictly decaff, but that's not for ttc purposes, I just can't handle caffeine any more after having had none at all for 3 years.
Fav food: Lots of things, I like mushroom bake, chicken kebabs, chocolate..

Idea of a perfect night? Probably me and DH snuggling on the sofa and watching a movie with a nice bottle of wine and tasty dinner, followed by hot chocolate puddings.

missbrightside Wed 25-Jan-12 22:45:20

Hello Stasi - very nice to meet you !

You're positive attitude is very inspiring ! You evidently don't let things stand in your way !

Good on you for looking into re-training and not just constanly moaning about your job like I do. I suspect you have been watching 'Call the Midwife' ?! (even though it has got really good reviews I'm just far too much of a misery guts to watch anything Miranda is pretending to be a midwife in !!)


notnowImreading Sun 29-Jan-12 15:38:17

We started so well, but we've all gone so quiet! I suspect we're all too pissed off to want to talk that much, but I'd like to keep the thread going if we can.

DH and I have been away for an ovulation shag weekend, so keeping fingers crossed. We had a really lovely time and relaxed a lot but unfortunately bumped into my mum and dad (who I completely adore, don't get me wrong) at ikea on the way back and mum managed to rub me up the wrong way by telling me all about my second cousin's easy birth and trying to get me to join in with her annoyance at the cost of all the presents because 'everyone's having babies'. It completely took the shine off. Am I being unreasonable to think that my mum, of all people, should understand enough to know when to shut the fuck up? angry

CaipirinhasAllRound Sun 29-Jan-12 17:30:13

NotnowImreading - that would wind me up too and agree your mum should know better!

We haven't been trying this month because of my HSG and I have no clue when I ovulated,assuming I have already as am on day 18...

I promise to pay more attendion next month.......

missbrightside Mon 30-Jan-12 09:27:18

Hello !

I really like the idea of an ovulation shag weekend. We've said many a time that we should do that but never quite manage to be organised enough to book something .... !

No, not being unreasonable in your reaction to your mum at all. I too am very close to my parents - but can't even bring myself to tell them about our ttc problems (or even the fact that we are ttc) ... !! I do wonder what my mum thinks sometimes. She relayed to me that she had bumped into a girl I went to school with - with her new baby (blah blah blah) - and that she had said "Oooh ... Missbrightside will be so jealous when I tell her". God, even my mum thinks I am a bitter, jealous cow !!

We have a follow up appointment with the consultant this week and - as I understand it - we will then get a referral for IVF. I really didn't know all that much about IVF (always assumed it was something that other people did !!!) but now I've read into it I find it all a bit daunting ..... !! Still, won't happen overnight so still keeping my fingers crossed that something may happen naturally in the next couple of cycles.

Hmmm .... maybe an ovulation shag weekend is the answer !!

CaipirinhasAllRound Sun 05-Feb-12 17:56:00

How is everyone?

I went to a party last night where I didn't know many people. I was asked 3 times if we might have kids one day and struggled a bit with all the mums.

I have really bad period pain today -it's the same every cycle - and have just looked at my dates and realised that my cycle is now typically only about 24 days. I actually ovulated twice in January!

Got our second appointment with our useless consultant on Friday...

missbrightside Tue 07-Feb-12 08:53:27


There must have been something in the air on Saturday night as we went out with another couple who spent most of the evening reminding us that we were childless hmm (to be fair - it wasn't intentional on their part !)

Really hope your consultant appointment goes well *Caipririnas*. I think it is so hit and miss with healthcare whether or not you get someone good (or that you like !)

We saw our Consultant last week to get the results of the tests I've had. The HSG showed a partially blocked tube and my AMH levels are 'acceptable' but a bit on the low side (18.4). Upshot is that the request for funding for IVF has gone off and we can expect an appointment date with the fertility clinic in 2 - 3 months.

And so the saga continues ......... !

Hope everyone else is doing well.

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