mid 30s, TTC #1, 2 years so far, fed up. anyone else?

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Just wondering how many of us there are in the same boat

[notnowImreading]

I have my first private consultant appointment tomorrow at 7pm. I can't quite believe it's so soon - my GP only referred me last Friday. I think I may have ovulated yesterday too (smily face on ov test, although I know they're not foolproof). Maybe things are looking up? Maybe it's just the nice weather that's making mr feel better. Anyway, here's hoping.

[missbrightside]

Hello girls !

Just a v. quick one .... !

Not Now That's excellent news. Good luck with the appointment later. Do let us know how you get on. Yes, I agree - the sunshine makes everything seem a 'bit better'.

Ciaphrinhas Hope all is well with you.

Lou P Glad the Lap went well. Not too long now for your follow up appointment. Sorry, no experience of Clomid.

Fabio Glad you got that GP appointment ! Wish some of my doctors could be described as 'lush' ...... ! (they can't !)

Right. Must get on with some work. Have had total work apathy for a while now and it's getting worse ..... ! I (should) be starting down regging injections for IVF on Friday and all I can think about is that !!!!

Have a good day all. xxx

[notnowImreading]

Have been to the consultant. He had a surprisingly vigorous rummage around and took a full history. He has given me 100mg Clomid for a month and said we can have three months try at that then look again at IVF if no joy there. Apparently DH has anti-sperm antibodies in his sperm, which seems a bit odd, so we might have trouble even with the clomid. Still, one more step along the road we go.

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Hi all

nothing different to report here. On 3rd month of clomid and given that I ovulated last month trying to have positive thoughts about this month!
We're not drinking this month and avoiding coffee too (very hard - both in sales and in client meetings all the time which normally always involve coffee....)

Not now - Anti-sperm anti-bodies - good grief! Another hurdle you didn't need...! Sounds like you're seeing someone who will move things forward now though

Miss Brightside - good luck for Friday! Keep us updated

x

[BetterOnACamel]

Hi All,

Been lurking on this thread, now stepping in to resuscitate!

Same, same story - mid-30s, TTC 2+yrs, oscillating between rage and depression.

Overwhelming number of bumps and babies on show via Facebook and ex-bf/still bestie called yesterday to share his and DW's lovely news. He'll make wonderful dad, and am happy for them. Yet hurts.

Me and DH been told by fertility nurse (at initial appt) that she sees no problem (!) he's got 4% morphology (some places say that's low, she says she's perfectly happy with that (!!!) - have a feeling am not ovulating, v. irregular AFs, but last 5 mths been getting a bit better (from 31-46 days to recently 30-32). Off to get Day 3 bloods today. No appt available with fert.doc till September (cue DH rage). Also DH in shitty mood as in between jobs and 'lifestyle changes' kick in and he's given up coffee, smokes and booze (which makes him really attractive for BDing - though am sure I'm no picnic lately either).

So stressed feel like have electricity running through my veins most days. Not producing at work either, feel like crap - non-productive in every way.

Will take hug or slap, whatever forthcoming.

[missbrightside]

Hello all !

Camel Have a hug and a . I'd also say that for a lot of this "journey" (god, I really hate that term - can't think of another word to write though !) I've felt a bit depressed. Never ever thought I would let myself get like this but I've lost interest in all the things I used to enjoy as they all now seem a bit 'meaningless'. Have let my career go out of the window (albeit that I don't particularly like my job !!) Oh, if only I had an instant solution for us all !! Hope your blood test went well today. September isn't so long away.

Ciaphirinas (sorry - that's probably spelt totally wrong). Will be keeping my fingers crossed that this is your month. I've found it much easier to give up alcohol than coffee ! I've had a few sneeky decaffs - but do miss a nice latte !

Not Now How are you ? Anti-Sperm Antibodies (I'll have to google what they are) Hmm ... don't recall them being mentioned in biology ! Hopefully the Clomid will work it's magic for you this month.

Well, have now had a week of Down Regging injections. So far, so good. The injections are over so quickly and so far I've had no real symptoms. Maybe shouldn't speak too soon as start Stimming injections tomorrow - and I think that's when symptoms may start. Having waited for seemingly months to start this it's all now happening rather quickly.

Right, must get on. Despite saying I don't like my job I really should get on with it as have some time off as from the end of next week as egg collection is estimated to take place on the 20th !!!!!!

Hello to Lou P & Fabio Hope you are well.

xxx

[notnowImreading]

Hurrah! New posts! Hello Camel, welcome.

Brightside it sounds as if things are really moving for you - will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Caipirinhas how's the clomid going? I've just picked up mine from the chemist - due to start on Monday if everything goes according to plan B (plan A of course being that I magically discover on Sunday that I just happen to have got pregnant naturally. Because that's exactly what our history suggests what will happen. Not. Ooh, went a bit Wayne's World there.) I keep looking at this thread hoping to see a post from you with good news. Any tips about when to take the clomid? I've got 100mg so two tabs. Is it better to take in the morning or evening and to take together or split them up. Doc and pharmacist just said 'whatever suits you'. Helpful bastards.

I have to say that this is a nice moment for me - have something practical to do but haven't started yet, so the obsessing has died down a little bit. Will definitely be back to the full mental in 30 days or less.

What did you all do for the bank holiday weekend? Anything nice?

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Hi everyone!

Camel - no slap, think we're all feeling exactly the same!

Miss Brightside - wow that is happening quickly! Keep us updated and fingers crossed you don't get any nasty side effects..

Notnow - I felt like that when I got my prescription too - like you're actually taking steps to do something positive about it. I'm on 100mg and have been really lucky, don't seem to have had any major side effects. Had had hot flushes a bit and I did gush with blood the day I took the first tablet but that could just be coincidence! Took the first one in the morning and because I bled so much which was a pain as I was in meetings in London, I took the rest in the evening but nothing like that happened again so just took them randomly after that.

I had another sod it moment yesterday as was sure I wasn't ovulating this month - my temperature hadn't budged at all and yesterday was day 19 - so went out for dinner and had 2 lovely glasses of wine. Did my temp this morning and it's was up! so I'm feeling much more positive today that I may actually ovulate this month and am just having a longer cycle. My acupuncturist told me clomid was meant to make you ovulate day 14 ish but started another thread this morning and people have said they ovulated all over the place on clomid which is reassuring. Really want to know what my blood's going to be tomorrow now. Hoping it's worked as if I have ovulated then I'd prefer than having another couple of months on clomid before being referred for IVF which is what they've said they'll do at our appointment in 2 weeks

And if all else fails we have decided that if I'm not pregnant by Christmas we'll be spending Christmas in Thailand or Brazil or somewhere equally as hot and not surrounded by other peopls children! I have had to tell DH that that isn't our preferred option though!

[becboo75]

I am 36 , have had PCOS for 12 years and TTC,partnered for 7 years but only lived together 3 years,for many reasons -worked all -my life partner only divorced last year -this is the right time for me, although i fear i dont have long in which to (TTC),partner soon to be DH is worried he is too old, to make matters worse he has 3 stunning teenage girls with his bitchy ex who likes to rub it in that i only have a dog!!!!thanks fully they are all yanks (US CITIZENS)and live there!

[becboo75]

soon to be DH is 44 nearly 45, it riles me that the ex had their children when they were both young yet they had an unhappy marriage and yet we are so happy but nearly past it!!!!!

[FlossyCat]

Hello, any room left on the Shitboat?

AF arrived today, so I wasted my afternoon on my one day off after working the weekend, by having a snooze to forget about how much of a failure I feel like... but when I woke up I thought I'd have a look at the conception forum to remind myself there are others out there, and this thread cracked me up so thank you ladies. I've been a lurker now and again but finally thought I'd post.

Recent highlights of my life include:
AF arriving one month while I was watching One Born.
Visiting a friend to meet her newborn, she asked me if we were going to start a family soon, to which I burst into tears and admitted we've been trying for the past year (I know that's not long compared to some, but feels like forever).
My brother saying in front of his 4 year old that his daughter would like some cousins.
My patients (I'm a nurse) frequently asking if I have any kids etc, still catches me off guard every time.
Oh and just logged on to facebook to see a baby no.2 scan update from a girl I went to school with who I never imagined would have kids.

Thank you for reminding me that there is more to my life than my failure to procreate x

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

hi all

becboo - I saw an article on the BBC website today saying that children born to older dads may live longer so it's good to have an old dad! www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-18392873

flossycat - boo to AF arriving. I hate it when people ask me if we might start a family one day, I think I've got very good at smiling through gritted teeth!

I'm feeling okay today! We go to France in 10 days and I'm due on in about 5 days and so if I'm not pregant I'm going to stuff my face with red wine and gooey cheese!
Obviously I hope I'm pregnant, but every cloud and all that!

I've been reminding myself over the past few days that you hear so many stories of people that try for 5+ years and then have a baby, so I've potentially got so many more months of this that I really cannot beat my self up about it and spend every waking minute thinking about it.
I've got a life to live damn it! (hmm, give me a week and I'll be as fed up as anything again....)

xx

[becboo75]

thanks ladies makes me feel more hopeful AF just finished and bloods tomm to check hormones etc, will ask about clomid /metformin.xx

[FlossyCat]

Caipirinhas - fingers crossed for you, but if not enjoy the vino and squishy fromage :)
BTW I do love a good Caipirinha! Have a lovely holiday.

becboo - hope all goes well with your appt tomorrow. When's the wedding? Sorry about the bitchy exes comments, but at least you can feel smug knowing you're happy together. When people ask me if I have kids, I usually tell them 'no but I have a lovely husband and a cat', and tbh that would be enough for me if I knew for definite we couldn't have children, it's the not knowing that does my head in!
x

[notnowImreading]

Evenin' all. Hi Flossy and Becboo - nice to meet you. Caip, fingers crossed for the next five days for you. I'm on day 2 of the clomid and am feeling a bit rough, actually, which I somehow wasn't expecting. Headache mostly. Still, good excuse (to myself) to do my job sloppily and then lie on the sofa watching Sherlock DVDs. Have booked the appointment for the monitoring scan and injection in about 10 days time. Now, here is the question: I read in, cough, Easy Living magazine that the six days before ovulation are the best for shagging. However, have also been told I might ovulate the day before my scan/injection so am a bit concerned re shagging as am now convinced I'm going to release about 15 eggs and end up carrying a litter. Has anyone advised any of you about when best to do the business on clomid? Should we just go for it hammer and tongs or should we wait for the scan to see if there's a rational number of eggs?

[becboo75]

Thanks Ladies , wedding May '14 - timer to pan and save , baby more important, not traditional but hey ho!. yes i often think that if i do have a baby then at least it wil bgrow up with its natural father (hoefully) and not several men off i met on the internet like the ex 's brood!...had bloods today for hormones and blood sugar -next week appt regarding clomid and metformin.. xxx

[becboo75]

*plan

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Stinky cheese and wine it is - period and killer period pain have arrived
Only 8 or 9 days after ovulation, something ain't quite right there!

[notnowImreading]

Fuckity fuck fuck! Well, you might as well roll in the pate and bath in the wine. Make the most of it and have a fabulous holiday.

[CaipirinhasAllRound]

Thanks Notnow, going next weekend so AF is quite well timed actually

Re your question about clomid, i wasn't told anything. My acupuncturist said that it's ideal to have sex a day or 2 prior to ovulation as the sperm hang around and so it's good if they're in situ waiting for the egg but I'm not sure if there's any science behind that or whether it's just her opinion.

Did the side effects get any worse? I was really lucky and didn't have many, did get the odd headache and hot but that was about it. I'm not sure if my day 2 is today or tomorrow... I had some period pain and spotting yesterday and period probably started last night but today has been full on period and pain day. Not sure whether to take clomid today or tomorrow....

[notnowImreading]

I felt much better after the first couple of days and have finished the first lot now. I expect this is a bit late for you, but I had spotting and then came on in the evening so the nurse advisor told me to count the next day (ie proper bleeding in the morning) as day 1 and hold off on the clomid. This was because otherwise I would miss the day 12-13 scan clinic though as she only works Monday, Wednesday and Saturday - don't know if it was for medical reasons at all.

Your holiday sounds like utterly perfect timing - no period, long enough before ov to enjoy some of the not-pregnant joys of France and relax fully plus loads of time to stockpile lots of pre-ov sperm. Am quite jealous, actually. Have a lovely time.

[twistedandbitter]

Oh i just had to join up to contribute to this group...it's like reading my own diary :P
I'm 34, my husband is 39. TTC for 2 years this month.
We've just been referred by our GP to a fertility clinic. My husbands sperm is all fine. I've had blood tests that are all fine. My cycle is regular, i temp and know when im ovulating. I've had problems with really bad period pain and have had that checked about 18 months ago (scans etc) and that's all come back fine. Clearly im just damaged goods. I seem to be surrounded by highly fertile friends, family and colleagues, so spend most of my time miserable and lamenting my decision to try and start a family.
I was relatively normal and happy before this journey and now i just feel like a constant failure. I really dont know where we all find our strength from and our motivation to keep trying. Someone handed me a copy of "the secret" on the weekend and rather than scoffing I decided i'd read it and give it a shot. Now i know things are bad....
Anyway - im holding out hope this month. Managed to pick up my ovulation at just the right time 2 days ago. Loads of doing it using preseed and doing my best to relax and stop stressing. I hear loads of stories about people conceiving as soon as they have a fertility referral in place...so im hoping to add to those statistics.
Really not sure what to expect from a referral to a NHS fertility clinic so if anyone has any advice that'd be great.

[LouP19]

Hello everyone,

twisterandbitter welcome to the forum. We were referred to our NHS fertility clinic in March of this year. Like you I hoped a miracle would happen and I would be pregnant by the time our appointment came round, but sadly not. I am at least used to the disappointment by now though! :-(

They initially wanted me to go for a scan and have a laparoscopy (like you I get bad period pain), asked me to do more blood tests (about my 4th lot in the last year) and my husband had to do another sperm test. So the first 3 months was basically more testing.

The good news is everything seems to be operating 'normally'. Because of that we sit in the unexplained category which can feel very frustrating. Been trying for 2.5 years.

I've now been prescribed clomid for 3 months. If that doesn't work the next step is IUI,....

Overall I've found the experience quite optimistic, but you need to be patient with it (she says, I'm not patient myself really!). The nurses in particular and very friendly and happy to help you with any queries. Good luck with it.

[missbrightside]

Hello girls !

Sorry for my absence - I'm off work for a bit and needless to say ended up doing an extra two weeks work before I went off .... !! But at least it made me focus and stopped me googling thing for a bit

becboo 45 is not too old. My DP is 40 - and rapidly approaching 41. He used to say (before we started TTC) that if he hadn't had a child by 40 that he would accept he probably wouldn't have one. Fortunately that seems to have been brushed under the carpet for a bit ..... !

Flossycat An afternoon sleep is not a waste of time off !! I LOVE a cheeky siesta !

Ciapirinhas Sorry that AF showed it's evil face. But hope that by the time you read this you will have had a lovely holiday (with lots of wine and cheese).

Not Now Hope you are feeling better by now. I've heard that the side effects of Clomid are far worse than IVF drugs (what on earth is in it ?!) Good luck for your scan.

Twisted and Bitter There seems to be huge difference as to how each PCT deals with referrals. But in our case (we are based in Brighton) I was referred to the fertility unit last September (having already had basic blood tests and a SA with the GP by this stage). First met with a consultant in around December time where they organised additional blood tests - a HSG - and an ovarian scan. Had the scan/HSG in January and - following another appointment with the consultant - was referred for IVF in Feb. Started IVF in May and currently near the end now.

Right - had egg collection yesterday. They got 10 eggs. I've been really really positive up until now but left feeling irrationally disappointed by the number they got (from the number of follicles I had just assumed I'd get more). I know this is irrational - as 10 is absolutly fine - so I'm blaming hormones !. It didn't help that the girl before me and the girl after me both got 15 (I know, I know, can't compare in life especially when it comes to eggs !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) But had a call today to say that 6 had fertilised over night - and (all being well) one will be transferred back on Monday. Think I'm going to book some nice things to do over the next few days as I'll go a bit mad if I stay at home ................ !!!!!!

Take care all xxx

[notnowImreading]

Oh Brightside that's so exciting! Really keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Hello Twisted welcome to the merry (chuh!) band. Just remember: fertility drugs yes, preseed yes, The Secret no.

Just to descend into TMI, which I know we don't do much of here, can I please say: egg white mucus! For the first time ever, I think. Shag night tonight laydees...