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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 10 11

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

Anyone up? Dad not expected to last the night.

253 replies

MyGuideJools · 05/09/2017 00:35

Me and mum been in hospital since 10am. Dad has pneumonia and lung cancer and isn't expected to last the night
I've been expecting this but now I'm so scared. I know I shouldn't be on MN but I'm sat holding his hand. His breathing is so laboured now. All monitoring and obs stopped, just meds to calm him
He is still in a ward with 3 other men who are all sleeping. There are no side rooms apparently
He's been in pain for so long, he's not been my strong old dad for weeks. This is killing me.....

OP posts:

Report

Notthatwittyreally · 05/09/2017 00:38

Sending love to you all x And if MN helps you be a bit stronger, for yourself, your Mum and your Dad,there's nothing wrong with that.

flickertee · 05/09/2017 00:41

I'm so so sorry. Sending lots of strength your way

fanniboz · 05/09/2017 00:42

I'm here. So sorry you're in this position. Keep talking if it helps

Mo0517 · 05/09/2017 00:42

So sorry for you and your mum. X

flowerydems · 05/09/2017 00:43

Big hugs. I'm up if you need to chat xx

TyneTeas · 05/09/2017 00:43

So sorry to hear that.

Do you want to tell us about your Dad?

BossyBitch · 05/09/2017 00:43

So sorry!

Just take it 30 seconds at a time. You can cope for that duration. Or maybe even a minute. And then another.

Is there anything you'd like to tell him? Even ig he can't hear, possibly? Do! And there's nothing wrong with your mum and you talking to each other about anything at all either, if it helps!

I'm thinking of you!

Mum2OneTeen · 05/09/2017 00:43

So sorry that you are going through this, just be there with your dad and know that on some level he knows that you & your mum are with him. Talk to him, tell him that you love him, hold his hand, and hug him as much as you can.

Sending love and flowers for you and your family

LoyaltyAndLobster · 05/09/2017 00:45

Shemozzle · 05/09/2017 00:47

That's very sad, I'm sorry. He will be pain free and in peace when he goes. Sending strength to you and your mum xx

FleetwoodMacDonalds · 05/09/2017 00:47

Thinking of you OP . Your dad knows how much you love him, and your presence will comfort him beyond words.

AcornToOak · 05/09/2017 00:47

Im so sorry you are going through this

They say that hearing is the last sense to lose, I believe he would be able to hear you if there is anything you feel you still need to say, everything you are feeling now is normal, even if thats that you need the support of mn

Hugs and hand holding on offer x

HemanOrSheRa · 05/09/2017 00:47

I'm here. My Dad died of cancer - lung metastases and pneumonia. Can you do something to make him comfortable that will also comfort you? Mouth care, gently wash his face with a flannel, brush his hair? These are the things that we did for our Dad. Sending you love and strength .

MyGuideJools · 05/09/2017 00:47

Thanks everyone. I've cried so much this last week. I'm sort of numb now. Dad is such a gentleman, has been with mum since they were 15, almost 60 years.
He has 6 loving grandchildren who will be devastated. I don't want him to suffer any more

OP posts:

Laine21 · 05/09/2017 00:48

Sending you and your mum hugs and love. Knowing you can come on here and post a message is probably helping you cope in some small way. We have to find our own ways of coping. When we are sitting with a loved one as you are doing right now, we need to have a way of coping, just to get through it.
Just because we expect things to happen doesn't make them any easier to cope with when they do happen.
Try talking with your mum about good memories while you sit with your dad. Think of him how he was, and the good times you had together. He will know you are there and that he is very much loved.
Xxxxxxxx

Jedimum1 · 05/09/2017 00:49

Sending you hugs. If he's suffering, it is better to let him go. Whatever your beliefs, you will always have him with you. Treasure all the nice memories, make a nice album with things he likes, photos, his sayings or common words... I don't know what happens to us when we pass away, but I know that we are made of cells, cells are made of atoms, which are charged with energy. Energy cannot be destroyed, it just transforms, so I believe that when we pass away we somehow release that energy into the world again. He'll be with you, in your memories, in the way you are because of his upbringing, in the dreams he wanted you to fulfill. Hugs x

Argeles · 05/09/2017 00:49

I am so, very sorry to hear this

PointlessUsername · 05/09/2017 00:55

Oh Lovely, So sorry

And to your Mum

oldlaundbooth · 05/09/2017 00:59

We're all here, jools

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 05/09/2017 00:59

So sorry.

My thoughts are with you and your mum.

MyGuideJools · 05/09/2017 01:00

I've been giving him drips of water on a sponge and holding his hand. I've told him I love him. Every so often he gets agitated and starts pulling off his oxygen mask

OP posts:

MyGuideJools · 05/09/2017 01:00

I keep needing a wee!

OP posts:

Ginkypig · 05/09/2017 01:00

I'm really sorry myguidjools losing a parent is tough.

I'm sending you all the strength I can.

viques · 05/09/2017 01:06

I am sorry you are dealing with this, it is very hard, but keep talking to him, keep stroking his hand, you are doing the right things, the things you need to do. Remember to tell him you love him.

e1y1 · 05/09/2017 01:08

So sorry

Sending you all the strength I can.

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