To feel uncomfortable with celebrity surrogacy?

[Username91]

After reading about Amber Herd having a baby girl via surrogate it just got me thinking about the amount of famous people who have children this way. I have nothing against surrogacy, it just seems to me that a lot of rich women choose to have children this way and I’m not convinced they ALL have problems carrying children themselves. I find it a bit disturbing and wondered if I’m alone in thinking this?

Once again I’d like to point out I’m not surrogacy bashing here. I just don’t think it should be something that is used by women with money as they don’t like the idea of carrying their own babies, of course it’s very different for women who struggle to conceive/carry themselves.

I haven’t heard of many celebrity women having children by surrogate. So I’m going to give the benefit of the doubt and assume it was one of a limited number of choices she had.

Their body their choice as to whether they get pregnant or not.

If they choose not to get pregnant, but want a baby then where’s the issue.

The surrogate supplies a service that is paid for, does it really matter if it’s Mrs miggins from next door, or someone who wants a baby but doesn’t want to carry one?

I think the system of surrogacy in this country is quite fair, i.e. you're not allowed to pay someone to be a surrogate, but I do have a problem with the way it's set up in other places.
I've heard poorer countries like India are banning surrogacy (still happens behind closed doors) as there is a lot of coercing/ exploitation going on and some women may not feel able to turn down doing it, and then if the baby is disabled the 'parents' sometimes abandon it and leave it for the poor surrogate or the state to look after.
In terms of celebrities going down that road, just because they pay a lot I don't think the element of coercion goes away. They have rules in America about organ donors not being paid because giving away an organ is life changing and I don't think a baby is any different.
Just my two cents

I'm 'against' surrogacy if I'm to put it like that.

It's so entirely centred around the needs of the adult to have a baby, without thinking of the issues that the child may endure, as well as the whole other issue with a richer person/s renting the womb of a poorer woman.

It's not really a 'service' tho, is it? You hire me to walk your dog for 9 months, doesn't mean I'm attached to it 24/7 and can stop whenever I like

I'm completely anti surrogacy

Yanbu to be uncomfortable with baby farming.

It also entirely ignores the very real toll and risks that a pregnancy does have on the woman's body, and reduces the role of the 'pregnant person' to host or even oven.

I find it uncomfortable: I’m not very eloquent in how I describe why but I think what it comes down to is that while women may be “choosing” to be surrogates but Is it an actual choice or is that they don’t have many other ways to make money. It’s treating other women as just vessels to carry a baby in and there are so many health risks that the money just doesn’t really cover that risk. Those are more general issues with surrogacy and then you add in that celebrities are doing it due to deciding to put their careers first and then I find that even more uncomfortable that other women are used for that purpose

I'm not comfy with any type of surrogacy.

I think it can be quite exploitative to vulnerable women (even in this country) and is not always in a babys best interest.

I do think that many of those celebs are either too old to have kids and IVF hasn't worked.

For example I know that SJP was also doing IVF, but it didn't work, which is not unsurprising as she was 44. She talked about it at the time.

Kristen Wiig had twins by surrogate last year - she was 46, she was not going to get pregnant even with IVF to be fair.

If I hadn't met my partner until late or had years of unsuccessful IVF, and I was a multimillionaire in a country with a high degree of surrogacy regulation, who knows what I may choose?

Yeah I should have specified that my issue is more to do with the fact in some countries the surrogate gets considerable ‘compensation’ for choosing to do it which is dodgy territory in my eyes. Some women may feel forced into it as @ThedaBara has mentioned or the money may be the deciding factor for them over their mental well-being. Rich women paying poorer women to have babies for them just seems a bit wrong to me. ‘Their body their choice’ is all well and good but you have to consider the factors behind the choice.

I'm not cool with any surrogacy, tbh.

All surrogacy is a hideous business. Nobody should be able to rent a woman’s body or buy a baby.

Do you ever hear of a rich, famous woman carrying a baby for a poorer woman? It’s exploitative and revolting.

@Bksjshsbbev2737 I think you’ve pretty much summed up how I feel about it.

@TinaYouFatLard Exactly, that simply wouldn’t happen. Also, love your username!

@Singlebutmarried

Their body their choice as to whether they get pregnant or not.

If they choose not to get pregnant, but want a baby then where’s the issue.

The surrogate supplies a service that is paid for, does it really matter if it’s Mrs miggins from next door, or someone who wants a baby but doesn’t want to carry one?

I know in dogs there is lots of evidence that puppies know and learn what mum smells like while they are in the womb; then use that to locate/identify her when born. Her scent becomes the indicator they are safe and cared for so if it's not there when they are born - e.g. they are removed from mum - they appear to suffer a degree of stress.

(I only use that as a comprison because I've studied dogs, not babies).

I wonder how much of that is similar to human babies as there's actually quite a lot of overlap between the two species in many other developmental areas. As there is across mammals generally.

@ElspethFlashman Kristen Wiig had twins by surrogate last year - she was 46, she was not going to get pregnant even with IVF to be fair. no scientific reason why she wouldn’t if she used donor eggs.

@TastyTicklemore That’s really interesting and does make you wonder.

I thought the same as you OP. It's possible that there is a medical reason behind why a 35 year old single woman (making a big point about "doing it on her own terms") couldn't carry a baby herself, but the cynical part of me thinks it was an active choice due to the normalisation of surrogacy in those circles.

I think surrogacy is disgusting no matter who is 'paying' for it, but in an environment where people can be paid a lot it's even more dangerous. Vulnerable women may resort to to doing it, not as an altruistic act, but out of desperation and financial need. It's really not a good thing, it's exploitative and damaging. Even when it's an entirely altruistic thing, I can't see how it's remotely good for the 'carrier's' well-being or the well-being of the baby.

Infertility is awful, I get that, but this is not the solution.

None of our business. We have no way of knowing if these women do or don't have medical issues which affect them carrying children.

Much like any surrogacy - I'm not away to sit and pass judgement on how any woman chooses to live her life.

Surrogacy just keeps getting pushed that little bit further; it used to be something I was fairly comfortable with, as I just thought it seemed a generous, selfless thing to do for people who were unable to have their own children.

Now we have celebs wanting their 5th and 6th at the same time, so involve a surrogate, or for whom two children isn't enough, so engage surrogates for third and fourth, and the awful cross-border surrogacy situations we saw last year, of scores of babies in the USA and parts of eastern Europe unable to be collected by their new families because of Covid travel restrictions. So this post of AH's presenting surrogacy as am empowering, feminist choice, is pretty grim.

@TheSpottedZebra

I'm 'against' surrogacy if I'm to put it like that.

It's so entirely centred around the needs of the adult to have a baby, without thinking of the issues that the child may endure, as well as the whole other issue with a richer person/s renting the womb of a poorer woman.

” It's so entirely centred around the needs of the adult to have a baby, without thinking of the issues that the child may endure”

Same could be said about every pregnancy ever.