What nonsense do you have to do/fake enthusiasm for in your job?

[Whatapalavaa]

I'll go first. Performance manage based on utter nonsense criteria that I don't really care about but have to pretend to be oh so serious about. Pretend to care about our mission statement and our organisational culture. Yawn. I sit in meetings wondering if anyone else is seriously buying this crap or rather putting on a good act like me. Anyone else?

Yes, I also have to pay lip service to a lot of guff. I've learned that it's easier to nod and agree rather than oppose. I'm afraid I'm extremely cynical and knackered and doing the right things. 10 years until retirement.

Sit in pointless meetings when I could be using my time more productively to do actual work. Meetings are necessary but not to the degree we have them

YANBU I don’t even know what we actually do.
There isn’t anyone or any place with an explanation written in English.
I am also expected to “live our culture and values” but have no idea what they are.
Apparently we are doing OK but must “double down” on our initiatives.
I have no fucking idea what any of this deliberately exclusionary bollockspeak means and I care even less.

Mission statements are supposed to help aren’t they? All the ones I have read are just nonsense - and that’s either because they are stupid or so vague as to be meaningless, and often both.

Emotional resilience workshops. Talking about our feelings about our jobs.

Admittedly, it is social services, but generally I find I can switch off quite happily at the end of the day and I really don't need to do mindfulness meditation via Teams to process my emotions.

I smile and nod on Teams as the management go on about the mission statement, our engagement with the public and stakeholders and how we are leading the world, our "Wellness Workshop and other such bollox. Meanwhile, I'm creating a shopping list in my head and thinking about recipes - you know - multitasking.

I knew I wasn't alone.

It's all soul destroying.

I'm a debt advisor and often have to listen to people moan about why their finances are in such a state. Its a job where you are taught to be non-judgemental and look for solutions and ways to move forward not blame, however that can be tricky when clients are bemoaning how much they spend on fags or gambling or food or (my fave) having to pay (often paltry) child maintenance for multiple children.

What often happens is that parents are friends with each other and organise help/ childcare within their own friendship groups. Often little Tallilah is picked up by James’s mum/ granny and vice versa and that would not have been arranged via class whatsapp group.

Even if people are not friends with other parents, they will ask privately those who they think are most likely to help: parents of the children’s playmates or whoever lives on their street.

@DynamoKev

YANBU I don’t even know what we actually do. There isn’t anyone or any place with an explanation written in English. I am also expected to “live our culture and values” but have no idea what they are. Apparently we are doing OK but must “double down” on our initiatives. I have no fucking idea what any of this deliberately exclusionary bollockspeak means and I care even less.

😂😂😂

Ooops, wrong thread!

@DrinkFeckArseGirls

Wrong thread?

Caring. I don't work in a caring role or anything. It's It's office role. But I have to pretend to care about what a hard week their department has had. Or month. Or year. I have to pretend to care, listen to then moan and tell them they need to submit their reports anyway

Cross posted

I have to listen to clients all day droning on about their problems with a fake concerned face when I just want to come home and watch Netflix.

Sit through a so very painful hour long weekly meeting that has nothing to do with me or my role and is a colossal waste of time. It could quite easily be a few bullet points on a weekly email (which I have suggested but got shot down) but noooo we all have to smile and nod through the weekly bullshit meeting.

Urgh, can you tell I HATE it?!

I spend too much time explaining that if the current approach worked they wouldn't have hired me.

"We've always done...."

I used to work in a law firm, the work was so dry and there was no way anyone could have found it interesting but they feigned enthusiasm to the point it was really strange. I remember a asking a female colleague what she had to get done that afternoon and she said "I'm drafting some really exciting lease clauses." I rolled my eyes and stated laughing until I realised she was staring at me in horror and she was serious. I wasn't able to feign the enthusiasm quite like the others and ten years on, I'm so glad I don't have to work there any more. It felt a bit like being in a parallel universe.

My manager is so enthusiastic and engaged it's exhausting. Is that a legit annoyance? She is genuinely passionate, i think I'm just jelaous of her perfect life

Team meetings, several times a week, to 'catch up' on who's doing what, how our workloads are looking, what issues we might be facing. These were set up partly for 'wellbeing' purposes to make sure nobody feels isolated.

Jeez, if we just get on and DO our work rather than giving each other constant updates and a run-down of our plans, we'd get much more done. Sometimes I've barely had time to get my teeth into any tasks since the last team meeting, they come round so quickly. Let me get on with the damn tasks!

Not working at the moment but had to tell you your OP really made me smile ☺ Not looking forward to returning to anything remotely like the utter claptrap you're talking about! Keep doing whatever keeps you sane, take the money, and run 😉

KPIs and targets, selling loyalty schemes and havomg our performance assessed on how much money we generate.

I. COULD. NOT. GIVE. LESS. FUCKS

Faking concern & taking the issue seriously with staff who complain that they’re “not paid to deal with this”, when it is literally what they are paid to do.
Mediating trivial issues like should the radio/air con be on or not when I couldn’t give a flying fuck.
And don’t get me started on the blue sky thinking we’re asked to do in meetings.

@DynamoKev

YANBU I don’t even know what we actually do. There isn’t anyone or any place with an explanation written in English. I am also expected to “live our culture and values” but have no idea what they are. Apparently we are doing OK but must “double down” on our initiatives. I have no fucking idea what any of this deliberately exclusionary bollockspeak means and I care even less.

Thank god I thought it was just me.

@Okbye

Sit through a so very painful hour long weekly meeting that has nothing to do with me or my role and is a colossal waste of time. It could quite easily be a few bullet points on a weekly email (which I have suggested but got shot down) but noooo we all have to smile and nod through the weekly bullshit meeting.

Urgh, can you tell I HATE it?!

I refused to attend this week's because a director kept talks about his prostrate problems.

I said if I went on it, I was going to describe my particularly heavy period. In detail. To everyone.

I got told I could skip it.