Aibu not to give him the money?

(249 Posts)
StraxDestroyerOfAll Sat 12-Jun-21 11:45:18

Me and the ex split up about a month ago, his idea, we have 2 DC’s. It’s still pretty raw for me but he’s getting on with it. Saying I need to move on and get on with my life. Yea not so easy with 2 kids.

Anyway he had asked a while back to lend a big chunk of money for something important. I was saving the whole time so I could lend it him. He would need in the next couple of weeks.

Would I be unreasonable not to give it him? I wouldn’t think that he’d be able to lend it off anyone else and it’s probably petty of me. But would you still expect a loan from someone who you walked out on?

OP’s posts: |
Brefugee Sat 12-Jun-21 11:46:51

don't give it to him. Will you be sure of getting it back? Would he do the same for you?

PurpleFlower1983 Sat 12-Jun-21 11:47:10

Don’t give him a penny!!

FortunesFave Sat 12-Jun-21 11:47:23

YANBU! Why would you lend him money!?? Has he asked again?

NeverDropYourMoonCup Sat 12-Jun-21 11:48:26

He should have thought of that before he dumped you, shouldn't he?

No fucking way should he a single penny of it.

HedgeVeg Sat 12-Jun-21 11:48:55

Obviously don't lend him any money.
He can borrow elsewhere.

Also, is he contributing towards his kids?

DrWankincense Sat 12-Jun-21 11:49:09

Not a chance!


Pompom2367 Sat 12-Jun-21 11:49:34

I wouldn't lend him it op just keep it as an emergency fund

honeylulu Sat 12-Jun-21 11:50:01

No, it's your money and you need it now you're a single parent! A bit different if you were still a family unit. Surely he should be paying YOU in the form of child maintenance.

Not petty at all. He's being a CF if he still expects it!

StraxDestroyerOfAll Sat 12-Jun-21 11:50:04

No he hasn’t mentioned it. But I know he will need it. I’m almost positive that I would get it back.

And I’m not sure if he’d do it for me. I don’t think I could ask if I’m honest.

OP’s posts: |
StrictlyAFemaleFemale Sat 12-Jun-21 11:50:08

Dont give it to him. Use it to move on with your life - thats what he said you should do!

SonoPortafortuna Sat 12-Jun-21 11:50:32

Moving on and getting on with your life means not lending money to ex partners.

EL8888 Sat 12-Jun-21 11:51:23

No way. He can’t have it both ways and would you ever get it back? Couldn’t he have saved up the money himself? Why did you have to?

antwacky Sat 12-Jun-21 11:51:24

Don't lend him your money, tell him you need in gor you and the kids in order to start moving on and getting on with your

StacysMomMandyJessiesEx Sat 12-Jun-21 11:51:41

Is he paying maintenance fir his children?

I don’t think I would give it. You are a lone parent now, finances will be tighter

antwacky Sat 12-Jun-21 11:51:52

For you

bigbluecup Sat 12-Jun-21 11:51:52

Don’t give it to him! You’re going to have more expenses now you’re on your own with your DC so no way you should be helping him out

StripeyDeckchair Sat 12-Jun-21 11:52:07

Definitely do not give it to him because as sure as he'll he will have no intention to return it.

If he complains point out its his actions that have resulted in your change of mind.

If you do (but you really shouldnt) insist on a legal document being drawn up and signed in advance of any money changing hands - at his full expense
This should set out how much you are lending, duration of the loan, how & when it will be repaid, interest to be paid, penalties for late payment.

Do not lend the money.

Nofruitta Sat 12-Jun-21 11:52:32

Do. Not. Loan him anything.

SignOnTheWindow Sat 12-Jun-21 11:52:51

Oh god, whatever you do, don't lend him this money!

HGC2 Sat 12-Jun-21 11:53:51

No, as he says you need to move on and you need that money to do so

ItoldyouIwastrouble Sat 12-Jun-21 11:54:12

Nope, absolutely not. It's not in the slightest bit petty, it's sensible. You and the kids are your priority now.

honeylulu Sat 12-Jun-21 11:56:47

Do you know what he needs it for?

StraxDestroyerOfAll Sat 12-Jun-21 11:57:12

Ok I think it’s a plain and simple do not lend him it ha ha

I just thought I was being petty as this was all arranged ages ago and he’s obviously counting on it.

He was saving himself but wouldn’t of had enough by the time it came to it.

OP’s posts: |
StraxDestroyerOfAll Sat 12-Jun-21 11:58:26


Do you know what he needs it for?

Yes I know what it’s for, something purely for him. Wouldn’t have any impact on me what so ever.

OP’s posts: |

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