My son is five years old, in Year 1 at school and he has five good friends. All of us moms get on well too.
Our sons do various activities together (sports and other things), we all go on group trips our together and maybe once a month us moms go out together to socialise child-free.
Anyhow, one of the mothers is lovely but quite materialistic (and likes to show off about things) and about six months ago I was round her house with my son as we were preparing to take the boys swimming and she told me that she doesn’t let her son go to anyone’s house (for a play date) unless she has been inside the house herself and looked around it to make sure it’s suitable for her son to spend time there. She told me a tale about one house she’d been in and there were some stains on the carpet and that the bathroom hadn’t looked like it had been cleaned recently and so she wouldn’t let her son go there even though he was really good friends with the woman’s daughter.
I have never invited her son to my house for this reason. He is the only one out of my son’s friends that I haven’t had over to play.
Of the four other friends, this week I have two of the boys coming over after school and next week the other two boys are coming over.
The woman in question cornered me in the school playground this morning and said she felt very hurt that I was excluding her son from the play dates.
Rather than skirt around the issue I told her that if she was only going to allow her son to come and play depending on her judgment of the quality of my house, as opposed to how long she and I have known each other (18 months) and how well our boys get on, then it wasn’t something I wanted to be involved in. I was polite to her about it but I still wanted her to know how uncomfortable I felt about her judgements of others.
She looked furious and stormed off.
But I’m not BU am I ?
Ok, I feel bad that her son isn’t getting invited round when the rest of the boys are, but why should I allow her into my house purely so she can look around it and make an assessment as to whether it’s suitable enough for her son to be in?
That’s not normal behaviour is it?!
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AIBU?
To not invite this boy over for play dates because of his mother.
765 replies
QueenofmyPrinces · 15/01/2020 09:47
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
2687 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
10%
You are NOT being unreasonable
90%
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