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AIBU?

To charge my sister for childcare?

204 replies

ThatThingYouDo · 05/01/2019 23:54

Really after some advice and different points of view on this.

My sister has told me she is pregnant. I currently work from home part time in a job that is very flexible and fits around looking after my own children.

My sister would want to go back to work full time after the maternity leave. We previously discussed me possibly looking after any potential future children due to my work flexibility, but no actual in depth details were ever really discussed.

I would feel so awkward taking money from my sister for childcare, to look after my niece or nephew. She is an amazing sister and is so supportive and wonderful to me, and I love her very much.

I would be looking after the baby 7 hours a day Monday to Friday for the next 5 years.

Is this madness?!

OP posts:

Report

userschmoozer · 05/01/2019 23:55

Don't you have to be a registered childminder if you are paid?

7yo7yo · 05/01/2019 23:56

Yep. What happens when she has the next one?
When she gives you a list of rules that you can’t stick to?
When child is interrupting your work?

lily2403 · 05/01/2019 23:56

I wouldn’t be doing it 5 days a week that’s a big commitment

Nicknacky · 05/01/2019 23:56

Are you mad? No matter how flexible your job is that’s a ridiculous situation.

Weenurse · 05/01/2019 23:57

I would charge. Do you need insurance to do this?

Bigonesmallone3 · 05/01/2019 23:57

That's too much, what a tie..

AWishForWingsThatWork · 05/01/2019 23:58

I would think you are mad to watch her child for free under the circumstances.

You aren't working from home for only part time hours for the benefit of your sister. You are doing that for the benefit of your family and your children.

MarthasGinYard · 05/01/2019 23:58

'I would be looking after the baby 7 hours a day Monday to Friday for the next 5 years.'

That's a full time job

How on earth would you do your own job?

ThatThingYouDo · 05/01/2019 23:58

I know, I feel like it's a massive commitment. I definitely need to give this alot more thought, and discuss it with her.

OP posts:

PoutySprout · 05/01/2019 23:59

You’d have to register as a childminder.

Maelstrop · 05/01/2019 23:59

Totally bonkers. From New born? Or rampaging toddler? How will you work?

Doved · 05/01/2019 23:59

Is she actually expecting you to look after the child full time?

If so then YANBU to expect payment, and she is a CF if she thinks anyone, even her sister, can be expected to look after a young child FULL TIME for free. Once or twice a week would be generous, but even then I think you should expect something, even a token amount.

That said, I wouldn't charge her anywhere near as much as she would have to pay at a nursery.

AWishForWingsThatWork · 05/01/2019 23:59

And I'm fairly certain you would quickly become resentful while you look after her baby, then children, 5 days a week, 7+ hours a day, while she goes to work to continue her career, brings in a nice income, then has nice holidays and 'extras' while in return you still have a very limited income from your salary, and your children have given up a lot of their time with you to share with them...

Singlenotsingle · 06/01/2019 00:00

Yes it is! Too much of a commitment, 35 hours per week. You would soon be resentful, especially as small babies/toddlers are so demanding and such hard work. You wouldn't look after the baby precisely how she wants it looked after and there would be disagreements. Very generous of you to offer, but not a good idea.

sugarnotsweetener · 06/01/2019 00:00

I pay my mum, she has my daughter 2.5 days a week. She won’t take payment for 1 of the days as she was going to pay for my little girl to go to nursery if that’s what I was doing so I pay her for 1.5 days a week instead. She’d be working if she wasn’t here looking after her so that’s why I pay her otherwise she’s losing money. She looks after her at my house so I also give her petrol money to get here. Sorry that’s probably not much help but I suppose what I’m saying is I’d be paying for nursery anyway so it’s not costing me extra so I certainly don’t begrudge paying her and she has such a wonderful time with my mum, I feel incredibly lucky as I’m sure your sister will.

ID81241 · 06/01/2019 00:01

No way and can't believe she asked you to do that. Wouldn't even make that kind of commitment for my own 😂 (joke... before I get attacked).

Do you want to look after the children? If so I would limit it to 1 day a week commitment if you feel awkward charging. I would definitely charge for anything more as then it's impacting on your ability to work.

Janus · 06/01/2019 00:02

One or two days a week maybe, 5 days, no way! What if you are sick? Your children are sick? You want a holiday? Just way too much to ask anyone to do. I’d have a talk pretty soon about how you can commit, eg one/two day/s a week and she can work childcare for the rest of the days around that (it’s still a generous offer imo).

Consolidatedyourloins · 06/01/2019 00:02

I couldn't do it.

If you do it, make sure you get paid properly otherwise (similar to a childminder) otherwise you will resent it very soon.

Aren't you working part-time to be with your own dc?

Wineandrosesagain · 06/01/2019 00:03

Seriously Op, unless you are willing to dump your current job how on earth can you look after your sister’s child? You absolutely cannot take on full time care of your DSIS’s child and also hold down a job (never mind a full time job of your own). Really Op, just say no. This is a massive commitment, even if it is rephrased as part time. You will never have flexibility to do what you want/need to do re your own childcare and job. Just say no.

bollockswhogivesashitreally · 06/01/2019 00:03

And what happens when you fancy a holiday? Are you going to live your life round the needs of your sisters childcare? I WFH but there is no way that means I am able to do child care too....

ZogTheOrangeDragon · 06/01/2019 00:03

You’d have to register as a childminder.

The OP is a relative so would be exempt from that ruling.

ID81241 · 06/01/2019 00:04

And I'm fairly certain you would quickly become resentful while you look after her baby, then children, 5 days a week, 7+ hours a day, while she goes to work to continue her career, brings in a nice income, then has nice holidays and 'extras' while in return you still have a very limited income from your salary, and your children have given up a lot of their time with you to share with them...

Very good point @AWishForWingsThatWork

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sollyfromsurrey · 06/01/2019 00:04

Your sister will benefit financially from you allowing her to go back to work with no childcare costs. Why on earth would you think it fair that she benefits 100% and you benefit 0%. That's madness.

Holidayshopping · 06/01/2019 00:04

That’s a full time job. Why would you do that for no money?

EdtheBear · 06/01/2019 00:04

Bonkers, how old are your own children?

Working while trying to care for a toddler will be a nightmare. Both the child and your work will suffer, or if your thinking working in evening once toddler has gone home, when is your down time?

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