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I think the teacher is wanting to see me about what I said on Facebook...

(509 Posts)
TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter Wed 12-Dec-18 09:56:54

Do I have a leg to stand on?

One of the TA's has been disregarding my 7yo DC's hard work and he missed out on 'extra play' despite doing the work asked of him (I can go into more detail if needed).

This is reading that is done at home and written in a book for school.

The TA was counting the reads, in fact totally ignoring most of them.

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.
I played it over in my mind for 2 days and did not understand why they weren't counting all of my sons reads and why he was missing out. Reading doesn't come easy to him, he would rather not do it, it's a battle every day. Yet we do it, we record it, but it's not being ticked off by the TA (some is, some is ignored).

Still not understanding why 50% of it is ignored, I went on to the Facebook class page. It's a closed group of 20-30 parents. A closed and private group.

I posted a picture of his book and asked them to help me make sense of it. I don't understand??
Some other parents couldn't understand either.
I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job so they could see in black and white what work he had done. I haven't mentioned any names. It's happened to other kids too and they are missing out on 'extra play' as well despite doing the hard work.

DS has been in tears about this several times.

It wasn't an issue for the first 3 years at school and it wasn't a an issue for the 7 years my other DS was at this school. It's an issue now.

Now they have called me in for a meeting at 3pm - I cant make it today but I'm almost certain this is what it's about.
I think someone has reported me being annoyed with them and posting asking for advice about it on Facebook.

But surely I can ask for advice and express my disappointment (the only negative word I used, I was very careful!) no names mentioned?
I need to know if I've done something wrong here.

I'm still seriously fucked off them them so I held back what I really thought and just saved that information for my husband.

AIBU?

Isadora2007 Wed 12-Dec-18 09:58:31

Yanbu and maybe this meeting will be an appropriate place to raise your questions and get answers.

MrsBlondie Wed 12-Dec-18 10:00:31

If this is in a private FB Group and no names mentioned then no, YADNBU. Hopefully the meeting will help resolve the issues.

Dermymc Wed 12-Dec-18 10:00:58

Why did you not go and speak to the teacher first like any normal person? It's a bit rude to post on fbook even without names it's obvious what you are getting at.

CardsforKittens Wed 12-Dec-18 10:02:03

Maybe they're going to explain the thing you said you didn't understand? And perhaps they might encourage you to approach the school when you feel there's a problem, rather than turning to Facebook first. I think that would be reasonable. What do you hope to get out of the meeting?

Veterinari Wed 12-Dec-18 10:02:44

Then why not discuss it directly with the class teacher in a constructive and professional way rather than whinging over social media?

You weren’t looking for ‘help to understand’ You were looking to publicly criticise the teaching staff as you didn’t like their explanation

foxtiger Wed 12-Dec-18 10:03:31

I used to be a TA and we had a reward scheme for the number of days people had read. Note that says "days," not "times." Some of the children started reading in short bursts and recording multiple reading sessions a day, but we were only allowed to give them the same amount of points as someone who had read once in the day. Could this be what is happening?

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter Wed 12-Dec-18 10:03:52

As I said in my OP:

I bought it up with her, she tried to explain which made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

StressedToTheMaxx Wed 12-Dec-18 10:04:09

I would say as long as you didn't used names and like you said it is a closed group, then it shouldn't be an issue.

I actually think it is good you reached out to other parents who undersand the work set out for the children, to see their opinions as to whether the marking was accurate or not.

Take a screenshot of the post with you, so you can assure the school no names where used.
Also make sure you address the marking while you are there. It really does seems unfair your son is doing his work but only getting credit for half.

WorraLiberty Wed 12-Dec-18 10:05:10

Well they say 'Be careful what you wish for', don't they?

You don't understand why it's happening and now you're being called in so it can be explained to you again.

I don't understand the problem, other than perhaps you're a bit embarrassed by what you wrote maybe?

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter Wed 12-Dec-18 10:07:04

Foxtiger it wasn't that.
We did that when my 12 year old was little, we soon learned the error of our ways!

No, this is because we write down all his reads for the week on a Saturday.
We do all home work and write out all his reading on the weekend.

We are busy during the week, sometimes his reading record doesn't come home, sometimes etc so we make a note on the white board each night and write them all out on Saturday.

That's why they don't get counted.

If we wrote them all out on the Thursday, they would all get counted.

So they have been punishing our son for 2 months by not counting his reads, because we write them out on the weekend. Rather than on the Thursday.

When they sit to tick off the reads, they see them there written down in front of them. But don't tick or count them. hmm

RB68 Wed 12-Dec-18 10:08:02

she clearly has raised it with school - its not unreasonable to discuss with other class parents. I would want to know where they got their information if it is about that given its a private board - I would also be raising it on the board.

Don't go in feeling like you are the naughty school child. Go prepared, Clarify you were seeking to understand as you have had an upset child, the work is done and should be counted - it shouldn't be on a whim etc and how its counted or not counted should be more open. It may be he is asked comprehension questions on what is supposed to have been read which given his lack of enthusiasm for it may be sketchy. Reading is not just about being able to recognise a word and say it

blackcat86 Wed 12-Dec-18 10:08:23

I would go in strong and that you're so glad to be invited in to clarify the situation as you've talked to the TA and then other parents but still don't quite understand what has happened. Don't go in feeling like you're being told off. You're a grown woman not a pupil.

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter Wed 12-Dec-18 10:08:28

I don't understand the problem, other than perhaps you're a bit embarrassed by what you wrote maybe?

Not in the slightest. I feel strongly about this.
The reason I ask is because I don't want to delete it. Other parents and kids have endured this and I don't want to have to take it down.

sweeneytoddsrazor Wed 12-Dec-18 10:10:37

So you cant find what 1 or 2 minutes a night to write in his book.he has done his reading?

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter Wed 12-Dec-18 10:11:07

Don't go in feeling like you're being told off. You're a grown woman not a pupil.

This is exactly what I needed to hear, thank you.
I needed to know whether I was being unreasonable by standing my ground before I did so.

FlyingElbows Wed 12-Dec-18 10:12:43

Why did you not just speak to the class teacher for clarification of what's happening? Nobody should be so naive to think that because a fb group is closed that the school don't know what's being said. There's nothing private about anything you write on Facebook!

LadyintheRadiator Wed 12-Dec-18 10:13:11

Pre-full the reading diary with dates then add the book/pages as you go.

DillyDilly Wed 12-Dec-18 10:13:43

So the school check the record on a Friday? Simple remedy to all this is to take the extra minute to record the reading after each reading session.

Doobydoobeedoo Wed 12-Dec-18 10:14:42

"I said I was really disappointed in the person who marked it. That I would mark it for them and add up his reads and do their job"

I think this is probably the bit that they will have taken issue with. If parents know which class your child is in, they will have known who you meant.

I would make the most of the meeting though. Let them know that other parents are also having problems with the way the reading is recorded etc and that you've spoken to the TA before.

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter Wed 12-Dec-18 10:14:49

So you cant find what 1 or 2 minutes a night to write in his book.he has done his reading?

We do most of the time. But shock horror sometimes we don't get the chance or the book hasn't come home, or life gets in the way.
The important thing is, he reads every single night and we make sure that every single read gets written down.
That's what they are asking for. That's what we have done.

They can see right in front of them that the reads are done. They are being bloody minded, choosing to ignore the reads because of the day we recorded them on.
It makes absolutely no difference to them what day we recorded them on.
The roads are done, the work is done, the work is recorded.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 12-Dec-18 10:16:10

I don't mean this in a disrespectful way but she is only a teacher. What do you think she's going to do. What can she do. You do not have to accept anything less than being spoken to and approached as her equal
I think you're in the scared school girl mode.

LadyintheRadiator Wed 12-Dec-18 10:16:30

You might be a grown woman not expecting to be told off but they might still treat you like a naughty child whether you like it or not. When raising a similar issue (directly not on FB) I was told that my criticism wasn’t welcome and what could I possibly know about anything relating to schools, classrooms, or children as I wasn’t a trained teacher.
They had no idea whether I was a trained teacher or what my job was at all, and didn’t give a shit. I thought i was trying to understand a system so that I could help my son better. They just heard ‘moan moan moan’ and didn’t care about what I was actually saying. Caveat emptor!

Beaverhausen Wed 12-Dec-18 10:16:55

You have done nothing wrong OP, you neèd to challenge them at the school and make sure that you are heard and not dismissed. Sadly there are teachers out there who think they are better than the parents and students that they are supposed to teach.

I did the same last year when my daughter kept on coming home upset as the teacher was treating her and the projects she was doing as no good. I went into school, challenged the teacher and got the situation resolved.

Unfortunately teachers these days do not like to put in the extra effort with students who might need the little extra help.

TruckLoadOfSubtleGlitter Wed 12-Dec-18 10:17:03

If that's the bit they take issue with (I think you might be right) then I will take down that part but editing it but keep the rest up.

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