My little sister died 8 months ago. She was 33. I’ve posted before about her DH moving on quickly, but I’ve just found out he’s having a baby with his new gf, they’ve been together 6 months and she’s 2 months pregnant. It was announced on social media and of course me and my family were blocked from seeing it but word soon gets around.
I’m still massively struggling with loosing her, even tho she suffered from a long term illness. I never expected him to be on his own forever but I feel this takes the piss. AIBU to not be impressed?
He’s totally cut our family out of his life including my DN (my sisters son) he’s not his bio dad but was a big part of his life. He’s 10 and has all our love, lives with his bio dad but how can you just do that? When she died he said he’d still see him etc but literally nothing. He was on dating sites 2 weeks after her funeral. I’m just so angry 😡
AIBU?
To be absolutely devastated/disgusted by this?
fulltimeworkingmotherof4 · 13/02/2018 17:52
He sounds like an utter fuckwit. Could he have been cheating on her? It seems very quick to get over the death of your wife 
Wow. That must be so devastating for you-
Not seeing your nephew more so than his new girlfriend
Not sure if he’d of had time, she was in hospital form months before she died, not s local hospital either and he stayed there with her. When she was alive he was great but I’m beginning to think he liked the attention. My poor Mum is in bits
So sorry for your loss
Some men move on very quickly. I would like to hope that he doesn't realise the devestation that this is causing to you all but some people just think about themselves.
Just a little suggestion from someone who recently lost their father and then saw things posted on social media that were distressing to me. Just remove or block them from there you don't need to see these things on a daily basis they just make the emotional healing more difficult 
I know other people who have been through this when their mum died. Their dad moved on really quickly and was re married within months. One of the children went round one day and the new woman was wearing their mother's dress 
I’m not excusing the crassness of his behaviour but I had a friend who did similar when his wife died.
She had terminal cancer but survived after diagnosis for almost 5 years. In those years his wife was already gone, she suffered greatly and he nursed her through it with utter devotion.
When she finally died he was the only person not upset. He said he felt relieved and that he had effectively been on his own for a long time and caring for a woman who didn’t resemble and who didn’t consider his “wife” anymore.
He lived it day in and day out and in his mind she had been dead for years.
He cared for her but had detached emotionally a long time before she died as a coping mechanism.
When he met his new gf he said he felt alive again and all the grief he’d felt for years was lifted.
I know it’s incredibly hurtful for you, but maybe your BIL’s experience was similar.
Maybe he felt guilty for finally being happy again and knew how you would all feel about it and didn’t want any dramatics, or to upset your DN any further.
Just offering a different perspective
I’m so sorry for your loss
It's a rebound and, obviously, unplanned pregnancy.
As tasteless and hurtful as he is being, he has the right to be happy. I assume he was dedicated to your sister. Shame he cut off your DN. Seems like he is cutting all connections to your sister.
Really sorry for your loss.
It sounds like he checked out of the relationship a long time ago but didn't want to leave your sister to cope alone. Not really an excuse for how he treated her son though. Poor boy
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