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AIBU to think my friend is taking the piss?

(258 Posts)
Linning Fri 17-Nov-17 22:18:32

Was supposed to meet with friend this evening to help her out with a project and catch up. We were supposed to meet up at around 6pm when she was due out of work but at 6pm she sent me a text saying "Just got off work, I am heading to the gym now, will be done at around 9pm, let's meet then! x" . Didn't say anything, figured I could use the time to do stuff around the house and do a bit of work. Come 9 pm and she sends me another text saying that she "just finished her gym session and was now going to get a shower and go home" so I simply told her to text me when she was home and ready and I would come over (she lives close by), about an hour later I received another text from her saying that she had "just bumped into a friend who has just moved in the area and she was off to check out her new appartment but she would text me when she left her friend's flat so we could meet." It is now 11pm (!) where I am living and I am sat at home supposedly waiting for a text from her to tell me she is now finally ready to meet me.

So am I unreasonable to think she is taking the utter piss? She has a form for this too. She once asked to meet up with her at a certain time, then texted me when I was ready to tell me that she would need an extra hour to clean up her place and have a quick shower, when I got there an hour later, she had "fallen asleep" so I had to wait an extra 30 minutes in her living room while she showered and got ready, we then spent an hour together (where I got dragged along to buy furniture for her place) before she casually told me that she had a skype session scheduled with her therapist in about 15 minutes and did I think we could meet up again when she was done an hour later.

So is that me or this friend absolutely doesn't value me or my time at all? I have no problem being flexible and rescheduling but I have feeling she has taken it to the next level now and I am especially angry as I have refused other plans for the night so I could be available for her and her project and have now been left feeling like a proper mug.

Fishface77 Fri 17-Nov-17 22:20:19

You should have learned your lesson the first time. Dump the using twat.

Pollydonia Fri 17-Nov-17 22:21:19

I'd tell her to fuck off if she texted me at 11 after I waited for 5 hours !

NoKidsTwoCats Fri 17-Nov-17 22:22:57

Go to bed. When she texts, don't respond. Text her in the morning to tell her YOU had 'fallen asleep'. See how she feels when the shoe is on the other foot.

youngestisapsycho Fri 17-Nov-17 22:23:40

I’d have told her to forget it when she text at 6!

Justmuddlingalong Fri 17-Nov-17 22:25:48

I would have quit when she said she was going to the gym at 6. Stop pandering to her. She sounds like she's seeing how far she can push you and you'll still be at her bidding. Ditch her, and tell her to stick her project up her own arse.

FlashTheSloth Fri 17-Nov-17 22:26:16

You shouod have told her it was off after her first text. You don't fuck off to the gym when you have plans with a friend. Sorry OP but you are a total mug for just sitting there waiting for her to text you at a ridiculous hour.

Gemini69 Fri 17-Nov-17 22:27:20

I dislike people like this immensely.. what she is actually saying is this....

Nobody's time is as important as MINES hmm

tell her to GTF flowers and share your good self with people worthy of your Time grin

AlloAllloAllo Fri 17-Nov-17 22:27:44

Tell her to fuck off. She obviously doesn’t value you or your company very much at all. This could be offensive but for me personally I would just take it on the chin. Your not compatible as friends, fuck her off

Inertia Fri 17-Nov-17 22:28:08

She can bugger off with the project help ! Yes, she is taking the piss big time, to the point where I’d wonder whether she was in some kind of taking the piss contest in order to win a bet.

Linning Fri 17-Nov-17 22:28:17

@NoKidsTwoCats
I am absolutely tempted to do that, I just feel bad about doing this because I have promised I would help her with her project as she needs my expertise but I really don't even feel like helping her out at all now.

StorminaBcup Fri 17-Nov-17 22:28:42

Linning in the nicest possible way, do you have many other friends? This one is taking the piss and you are letting her do it. Time to put on the big girl pants and extract yourself from this friendship smile

ButchyRestingFace Fri 17-Nov-17 22:29:09

You’re awfully accommodating. I would have become unavailable after the first text.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Fri 17-Nov-17 22:30:31

I'd get revenge, don't text her, tell her you fell asleep, then every time you arrange to meet in future text her with a crap excuse.

She should get the message eventually, and you can spend time with nicer friends instead.

smurfit Fri 17-Nov-17 22:30:36

Yep - if she's putting you off 3 hrs at the last minute I'd have told her she can wait till the next time I am free. I'll go out of my way to help people but she's absolutely taking the piss. If she wants your help, make her work on your schedule.

But then, if I was meeting someone at 6, texting me at 6 to change plans would be moot because I'd already be there waiting.

TrojansAreSmegheads Fri 17-Nov-17 22:31:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Justmuddlingalong Fri 17-Nov-17 22:31:35

She didn't need your expertise when she was fannying about, doing everything but her project. If you don't stand up to her, you are allowing her to make you feel like shit. Stop making excuses for her, she's showing you how selfish she is.

AlexaAmbidextra Fri 17-Nov-17 22:31:46

Well don't feel bad. If she'd wanted your help that badly she'd have made sure to see you as planned. Ignore any texts tonight and tell her to fuck off when she next wants the benefit of your expertise.

Linning Fri 17-Nov-17 22:32:02

Ah, she just texted to say her and her friend went to the local supermarket to get beers (apparently her friend will be tagging along hmm ) and was I ready to leave as they were on their way back and would be at her house in about 10 minutes.

I do feel like telling her to fuck off to be honest or just turn off my phone and fake to be asleep but she knows I have read her text and listened to her audio as the messages are markes as read.

Branleuse Fri 17-Nov-17 22:32:18

id have rearranged as soon as she said she was going to the gym

TrojansAreSmegheads Fri 17-Nov-17 22:32:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoKidsTwoCats Fri 17-Nov-17 22:32:36

linning I totally get that, you sound lovely smile but of she wanted your help that badly she would have stuck to the original plan - or at least something close! She sounds like she's using you. Sorry.

ScipioAfricanus Fri 17-Nov-17 22:32:59

She is massively taking advantage. It was nice of you to lend your time and expertise and age should have been bending over backwards to suit your schedule, not randomly changing hers. I would message her to say that you are off to bed and it’s a shame the day allocated didn’t work for her, good luck with her project. Frankly I’d just disassociate from her unless she is bringing any effort and interest in you into the friendship as she sounds like a total user.

Branleuse Fri 17-Nov-17 22:32:59

just tell her youre too tired now

seriouslyenoughalready Fri 17-Nov-17 22:33:03

She needs YOUR expertise therefore she should be accommodating you.
You have nothing to gain from this so I wold just tell her to fuck the fuck off.

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