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To think this ‘game’ was really inappropriate and to complain?

(295 Posts)
TattiusTeddius Mon 13-Nov-17 18:53:06

Went out for a meal with DH today at a chain Italian place. The waiter took our order and then when he was finished said “thanks Lucy” (my name). I was confused as I had no idea who this guy was or how he knew me. DH asked but I said I honestly haven’t got the foggiest, and he joked about are you sure he isn’t a previous conquest (I had a, how would you say, illustrious sexual history pre-DH). The waiter kept on saying my name whenever he served us drinks and courses and I felt really rude that I didn’t know him back but he obviously knew me.

Anyway at the end of the meal when we were paying the bill, he said “Do you want to know how I know you?”. I said yes, clearly a bit embarrassed. Then he said “I don’t!”. He explained how the staff were playing a ‘game’, if someone walked in the restaurant who one of them knew, another waiter or waitress would serve them using their name constantly to freak them out. It turns out my friend’s sister works in the kitchen so passed my name on to the waiter. I kind of did a “oh ha ha ha” but TBH I was a bit appalled.

AIBU to think that this ‘game’ was really inappropriate? What if my DH had been an abusive man who didn’t see the funny side? Luckily he’s not but this is something that would provoke many partners to lash out. Aside from that, it’s just not very professional to do that to customers. WIBU to complain to a manager? DH thinks I’m over reacting 🙄

Or am I just an old stick in the mud?

ChickenlessHead Mon 13-Nov-17 18:56:01

I don’t really see it as inappropriate but it’s pretty weird and wouldn’t exactly make me feel comfortable during a meal out.

Barbiesears Mon 13-Nov-17 18:57:29

Yanbu. I would have a word with the manager. I suppose if it's a man though, like your dh they won't get why it could have repercussions for a woman.

MoistCantaloupe Mon 13-Nov-17 18:57:29

Did you not ask him how he knew your name the first time he said it? You're right, it is a weird game. I wouldn't feel comfortable and annoyed that it would then be a focus of our evening/conversation.

Fluffypinkpyjamas Mon 13-Nov-17 18:59:34

Ithink it is rude to be honest and yes, I would complain. Like you said, he wouldn't know if you had a jealous Dh, or that you were anxious or not. It is really silly and just plain unprofessional and pointless.

somethingDifferent38 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:01:23

Its a bit intrusive (he's there to serve your food, not disrupt your me). But the issue with it potentially provoking a jealous OH is a bit odd -tbh - that would be a problem with the OH, not with someone knowing your name!

TattiusTeddius Mon 13-Nov-17 19:01:26

Did you not ask him how he knew your name the first time he said it?

No, I was hoping that it would just come to me (I’m a bit slow these days!)

He said he’d tricked a few people today, and that there was a sweepstake prize for the person who ‘got’ The most customers. He was only about 21/22 and clearly thought himself hilarious.

somethingDifferent38 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:01:59

'Your meal', not 'your me'!

SpottyGecko Mon 13-Nov-17 19:02:16

Weird and strange. YANBU if you want to mention to the staff / manager that their game is creepy and not funny.

Most people dislike overfamiliarity and I would imagine it would be off putting to many.

icelollycraving Mon 13-Nov-17 19:03:55

I think it would be too much to complain. I'd probably pass on to the person who knows you that it pissed you off and it could put some people in a tricky situation.

honeysucklejasmine Mon 13-Nov-17 19:04:02

Oh, I wouldn't like that at all! Creepy!

Threenme Mon 13-Nov-17 19:05:13

I wouldn't care tbh.

WasDoingFine Mon 13-Nov-17 19:07:57

I think that is pretty poor actually basically making fun of you for a bet..... and you paid for the privilege.

I would complain

NearLifeExperience Mon 13-Nov-17 19:08:43

Restaurant staff deliberately trying to freak out their customers?
Er, yes, I'd complain.

Bruceishavingfish Mon 13-Nov-17 19:08:47

This would make me uncomfortable during the whole meal.

Especially since stbxh was emotionally abusive. This would have ended in a night of sulking, making me feel awful and no sleep.

I would have been uncomfortable because i would have known i was going home to a shit storm with my husband. Would have totally ruined the meal and the next few days.

icantgetnosleep5 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:08:51

I'd complain !

stopfuckingshoutingatme Mon 13-Nov-17 19:09:41

Dicks . Complian you are there to be served and make them money. Not amuse them !!

KitKat1985 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:09:47

I wouldn't like it. They're basically having a laugh at your expense, which would make me feel very uncomfortable knowing they are back in the kitchen whispering about how their 'game' is going.

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin Mon 13-Nov-17 19:11:28

I wouldn't like that at all. Got out of an abusive relationship last year this would make me paranoid they knew my ex! To the point I'd probably leave there and then. Which I'm sure the staff would find just hilarious.

Gemini69 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:11:55

I thought it was funny.... grin

DancingLedge Mon 13-Nov-17 19:11:57

No tip from me.

wineandworkout Mon 13-Nov-17 19:12:07

I agree with you. An ex boyfriend of mine would have given me shit for days if another man had done this to me.

And ... trying to freak people out when they are paying to have a relaxing meal? I know they want to liven up their shift, but trying to make people uncomfortable is going a bit far.

spankhurst Mon 13-Nov-17 19:13:38

I think it's bang out of order and I would email the manager.

KimmySchmidt1 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:13:43

I just dont think a paying customer should be the target or butt of a game designed for the amusement of staff.

I would have said 'that's funny, I'm paying a game too, where I don't tip people who spend their time at work playing games to amuse themselves at my expense.'

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin Mon 13-Nov-17 19:14:28

And if I'd been with my ex and this happened.... I'd be in so much trouble.

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