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AIBU?

To not preemptively report neighbours to the police?

436 replies

Mrbluethecatt · 21/08/2017 15:32

I have a large back garden, large enough to have a trampoline, swing set with climbing ropes, cargo net and shoot. There is also a skateboard ramp type thing. This part of the garden isn't visible from the side gate.

Over the summer dss13 used the garden with his friends so the side gate wasn't always locked (with padlock and key). DH actually lost the padlock at one point so it was unlocked all the time when we were at work and dss13 was at summer clubs.

As the schools went back last week I asked dss19 to pick up a padlock and lock up before going out Friday morning. Dss19 picked one up and returned home, locked the side gate (without going into the garden). He was wearing his headphones (this is relevant).

I got a call from nice neighbour as he heard shouting at my front door with other neighbour banging on it. He was gone by the time I got home but left a note.

Essentially his DW had let their 3dcs (under 7) play in my garden (without our permission). This is something that she had done many times before when we were out. She then tried to leave but the side gate was locked. She had told her DH that she shouted at DSS who locked her in anyway. She got upset called him very upset as it was raining, kids crying etc.

Her DH had to leave work and get ladder to get them out of garden. The side gate is metal and is part of our garden wall. The note said that we were out of order, we have traumatized the DCs. He intends to report us to the police for unlawful detention. Hmm

Both DH and I have tried to speak with him and his DW over the weekend but they never answered their door. Dss said he didn't hear anything as he had his music on. I have suggested to DH we write them a letter. Telling them they were trespassing and shouldn't have been in the garden and that we are not responsible for what happened. DH also wants to preemptively report the neighbours to the police just encase. I think the neighbours are all talk and won't have went to the police themselves. DH disagrees. Should we report them?

OP posts:
LittleLights · 21/08/2017 15:33

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LittleLights · 21/08/2017 15:34

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Dina1234 · 21/08/2017 15:34

Write him a preacrion letter for trespass.

hugomcwooferton · 21/08/2017 15:34

What the heck? They were in YOUR garden? Report to the police for trespass if you want but I highly doubt the police will take them seriously!

Coldilox · 21/08/2017 15:35

Don't bother the police with it. Even if neighbours do report you, you are not in the wrong

Skittlesss · 21/08/2017 15:35

Naaa don't bother calling the Police. If they call them they'll just get told not to be so stupid. How dare they go in your garden like that?!

MadamePomfrey · 21/08/2017 15:35

I wouldn't report them if they report you and the police respond then explain but they are so clearly in the wrong. I can't see the police would do anything.

SomeBerryJam · 21/08/2017 15:36

WHAT?????Hmm

Nicknacky · 21/08/2017 15:36

Don't bother contacting the police, they will not be the slightest bit interested even if the neighbours have contacted the,. Cheeky feckers.

PancakesAteTheChildren · 21/08/2017 15:37

I think you need to put something in writing. Dss was not to know they were in there - because they shouldn't have been! Him wearing headphones on his own property is also another factor - why shouldn't he? If he wakes up to the gate from the outside and locked it without checking IN the garden, again, a totally normal thing to do as THEY HSOULDNT HAVE BEEN IN THERE!

Bluntness100 · 21/08/2017 15:37

No I wouldn't report, I also would not write a letter. I'd let it drop and ignore them, Clearly they were in the wrong. If they do go to the police explain that they didn't have permission to be in there and your son was unaware. Game over. The police will tell them they were trespassing.

If I was to do something a note saying that your son was unaware as wearing headphones, it's your garden, they did not have permission to be in there and as such appreciate if they do not go in again without permission.

I can't believe they would go in and do that without asking anyway. So cheeky.

Fabellini · 21/08/2017 15:37

LittleLights I guess maybe we need a diagram! I have to say though, the layout of our house and garden means it would be perfectly possible for someone to lock one of the gates without seeing anybody who happened to be in the garden.
I also have two teenage sons who frequently wander about with headphones in.

PancakesAteTheChildren · 21/08/2017 15:38

In writing to them, I mean. Also, I doubt the police will be interested!

ImperialBlether · 21/08/2017 15:38

This is one for Classics, I can tell!

meltingmarshmallows · 21/08/2017 15:38

Can't get over the nerve of them!

KimmySchmidt1 · 21/08/2017 15:39

TBH I think they would have called the police by now if they intended to so you are too late to be pre-emptive, and in any event the police likely have better things to do be doing and you will just look like another numpty if you call them first.

Writing a note and taking a copy of it for use later if neeeded will really help evidence wise but i would avoid accusing them of trespassing (because it just looks like you are being petty too) and just say that you did not realise they were there as it had not been pre-arranged, that your son was told to replace the padlock, and did so with earphones on and without going in garden, so did not realise they were in there.

Do it in a tone of sensible grown up non-hysterical and calm apology (whether you are sorry or not) as this will be very useful in showing the police that they are being unreasonable and idiotic and you are not. Escalating it will make them think you are mental too, and getting an impression of who you are and how you behave is inevitably relevant to how the police react. They hate neighbour disputes and have loads of better things to do so they will not appreciate you bothering them now with something so trivial - let the neighbours be the ones to get on their nerves and you the sensible bigger person family who does not make a fuss but did your best to explain the mix up at the time.

ShapelyBingoWing · 21/08/2017 15:39

Sorry but that's hilarious Grin they won't do it again I imagine. And I doubt any action can be taken against you for locking your own gate, even if people had chosen to use yoyr garden without your permission. They'll be hard pressed explaining that to the police without it being clear they were trespassing.

Miserylovescompany2 · 21/08/2017 15:39

They shouldn't of been there to start with - what if one of their DC had hurt themselves on your property? entitled twats

icelollycraving · 21/08/2017 15:40

I wouldn't bother the police.
They won't do it again!!

GodIsDead · 21/08/2017 15:40

You should definitely write them a letter telling them to stay the fuck off your property. The cheek!!!

Mrscropley · 21/08/2017 15:40

Bet the little fuckers stay out now though!!

Neutrogena · 21/08/2017 15:42

Put up a camera. Cheeky fcukers

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ChardonnaysPrettySister · 21/08/2017 15:42

Ignore the fuckers.

roundtable · 21/08/2017 15:43

Grin That'll teach them op.

Ignore. If the police officers contact you, which I'm not convinced they would, explain as you have explained on here.

They've got some front. They should be embarrassed.

Madwoman5 · 21/08/2017 15:44

Another CFN thread. When he starts shouting, simply ask why were they there? What on earth was going through their heads when they thought that was acceptable? If the kids were traumatised because they were locked in, tough shit. They were on your land, playing with your equipment without your knowledge or permission! I say forget reporting it to the police preemptively and wait to see what happens. A simple quiet discussion with the police if they call will result in them being reprimanded not your ds who had no inkling they were there. The coppers will do a lot of eye rolling at this one.

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