AIBU year 4 Isle of Wight trip!

[Twistedpantsagain]

I have a son currently 8 years old and he will be 9 just before this trip takes place in the Easter term of year 4.
It's always been the tradition at this school which is odd as no local schools do a residential 5 day trip until year 6 and even then our year 6 is far more local than the year 4.
Anyway, my son doesn't want to go.
He's a quietly confident boy, has lots of friends and socialises very well but has no desire to go on a holiday that requires him to be away from us and his sisters for 5 days.
We are happy for him to not go as very child led family and have explained he will need to go into another class to do his work or I will home educate him for that week if the school cannot offer provision but I'm dreading the meeting I'll need to have with the head regarding this.
Anyone done the same?

[iMatter]

It's 8 or 9 months away!

He doesn't need to be giving it a second thought now.

[Dumdedumdum]

Child led my arse. Sounds like you are conveniently offering him ways out of a trip you don't want him to go on. It is so long away! Wait till next term at least and see how he feels then.

[Twistedpantsagain]

It's not about how far it is away, the meeting for it is in September and payment due by October so the decision is pretty imminent
" child led my arse " is pretty rude though but each to their own

[iMatter]

If you're that determined that he shouldn't go then say no.

Your child, your decision.

The school can't force you to send him.

[PurpleMinionMummy]

Why would you need a meeting with the head? Just put no on the letter/consent forms when the come out. It's not unusual for some kids to stay behind

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

It's ages away. Wait and see how he feels nearer the time.

[Dumdedumdum]

I'm sorry it just sounded so wanky, like the rest of us want to see our dcs carted off crying on trips as we are adult led families.

[budgiegirl]

Why are you worried about the meeting? Why do you even need to have a meeting? Just tell the school your DS isn't going and that's that. They can't force him, and I'm sure that in year 4 he's unlikely to be the only one not going.

However, if it's just a case that he doesn't fancy it, I'd probably tell him he was going, whether he wanted to or not! It would be different if he was worried about it, but you haven't indicated if this is the case .

[Twistedpantsagain]

Maybe I should have been clearer by the email I've received today says if for any reason your child isn't attending please arrange a meeting with the headteacher ASAP
I have friends in older years and nobody has ever not gone on these trips aside from one friend last year where they wouldn't let her daughter attend school in a different year group for that week so she had to home educate her for that week.

[elephantoverthehill]

We are really quite nice on the Isle of Wight and the ferry is quite exciting for children. Do you know where they will be staying, if he decides to go?

[Twistedpantsagain]

That's okay, I don't know how your family works but for ours, we wouldn't watch a child be led away on a trip crying as they don't HAVE to go on such things so that's all I meant.
He isn't of a nervous disposition but is sensitive and has never stayed away overnight anywhere as he's never wanted to.

[CrowyMcCrowFace]

I would sign him up & cheerfully tell him it's part of what the school does in year 4, tbh.

Then if he balks nearer the time he can quietly drop out.

It may well be that once all his mates start getting excited about it he changes his mind. I'd keep the option open.

If you were describing a kid who was seriously freaked out by the prospect, that would be different, but if he just doesn't fancy it much I'd be quite brisk about it.

Yes, year 4 is a bit young for a residential but not too young. My kids' school does them every year from year 4 upwards (& flipping pricey it is too when you have 3 off on exotic jollies every year, but that's another grumble...). The children do get an awful lot out of them IME.

[cheminotte]

Totally agree with you. Y4 is very young for a long residential.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Ds wouldn't have been ok in year 4 but year 5 he would've loved it.

[elephantoverthehill]

Sorry Twisted do you mean never stayed away overnight anywhere or stayed away overnight without you?

[Twistedpantsagain]

Sorry of course I meant without either me or dad

[humblesims]

If you dont want him to go dont send him. Simple. No need to turn it into some sort of drama. I dont believe what you say about nobody has ever not gone apart from one child. I dont believe that. There are alsorts of reasons why children dont go on school residential trips from financial reasons to 'child led' reasons.

[TheSnorkMaidenReturns]

My kids' school did this. They all loved it.

The parents who tried to dissuade their kids from going looked ridiculous when the time came. One family only decided the day before, which was far more confusing for their child.

The payments are made in instalments to make it easier for people to pay. If you talk to the school in a calm manner, rather than the slightly OTT manner you have posted here, by posting in two topics, you might find them more amenable.

Talk to the school. Work with them. Encourage your child to be excited about the opportunity rather than encouraging him to reject it.

At my kids' school it's a really formative experience that they all share. They talk about it for years afterwards, including at secondary.

Don't reject it out of hand.

[Hulababy]

Answered in your other thread about this.

It's not compulsory so say no if he really doesn't want to go and isn't going to change his mind. It doesn't matter how few haven't gone before. I'm not sure what else you can do or what you would want school to do. Obviously if most people go it a popular trip and works for the majority.

Dd went on residentials of 3/4 nights from year 3, and went to France with school in year 5 too. She went and loved them, but she wanted to go. I was the one feeling a bit nervous not her. So residentials from early juniors isn't that unusual - I know if a few places which do them and even a couple of school who do 1/2 night residentials in year 2.

[Twistedpantsagain]

I wasn't sure where to post hence both, I don't think that makes me " OTT "
Certainly doesn't mention instalments, just payment due by October half term!
Whilst I have no doubt some may enjoy it once there, I'm not willing to push my children into things they aren't ready for.
8 and 9 year olds in my opinion are far too young to be spending so much time away from home especially in an area that's very difficult to get to especially overnight if required to

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

It's only the Isle of Wight, it's not difficult to get to

[Twistedpantsagain]

Pretty impossible to get to past 11pm actually

[lazycrazyhazy]

My DDs then 8 or 9 had similar wobbles before their school annual trip to Portland in Dorset. Like you, we had to sign up months before. They'd come down crying from bed occasionally and say they didn't want to go. We always said that's fine we can remove you from the list or not but you don't have to decide now. In the event they all went, caught up in the excitement, and all loved it. I remember being worried about Brownie pack holiday but again I loved it.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

There is a hospital on the island and doctors, even electricity last time I was there

[cakeandcustard]

I think he seems young for a residential trip. If he's not comfortable with it and you're not comfortable with it then that's enough. He doesn't have to go.