Talk

Advanced search

neighbour just told me to fuck off!!

(281 Posts)
CrazyCatzCuckoo Sun 09-Apr-17 09:32:39

Can't believe what's just happened!
We have lived here 10 years and it's just myself and husband now that the kids have grown up and left home
We both work full time so only really in evenings and weekends
Nice family live next door, in their 30s with 2 children, twins aged about 5/6 I would guess ( they go to school as have seen them in uniforms )
Always been polite but as I said not in very much.
We obviously do hear the general noise that comes with having kids, in the garden ( they don't let them out until about 11 which we appreciate as the last people would have them out as soon as it was 8am! ) and crying, shouting and that kind of stuff every now and then but nothing over what I would expect in a family home!
Yesterday I was popping to the shop and as getting into my car I heard a piercing scream; like the little girl was in agony and the mum shouting something, then the boy crying - didn't hear anything from the dad. Assumed maybe the boy had hurt her or some game had gone too far, it was only 6.30 so wasn't bothered remotely by the noise just to add!
I went off to the shops and came back and all quiet.
This morning I saw her taking them out somewhere in the car as I was taking the bins out so said hello, hope everything's okay. She looked at me a bit blankly and then said " why; what do you mean? " I then said " oh I heard a bit of a thud and screaming last night " and she said " and what does that have to do with you? " I then said " I'm not moaning about the noise; I just hoped all was alright " and she replied " well why don't you just fuck off! "
Great - now we live so close together it will be so uncomfortable.
Husband says I shouldn't have said anything; it wasn't my business and shouldn't have made the comment to start with!

Euphemia Sun 09-Apr-17 09:34:26

I agree you shouldn't have made the comment, but your neighbour was very rude. I think you hit a nerve.

brexitstolemyfuture Sun 09-Apr-17 09:36:17

Maybe they are just having a bad day and that was the cambel that broke the back?

treaclesoda Sun 09-Apr-17 09:36:17

I wouldn't have said anything tbh. But even so, you didn't do anything terrible, that's a huge overreaction and would suddenly make me very suspicious as to what they were hiding.

araiwa Sun 09-Apr-17 09:36:42

when rudely sticking your nose in other peoples private business, you should expect to be told to fuck off

Sallysadlyseescertainty Sun 09-Apr-17 09:38:00

Your neighbour was very rude. However, you should not have made the comment.

treaclesoda Sun 09-Apr-17 09:38:21

If my neighbours checked on our welfare every time they heard a loud scream, they'd be checking a lot. One of my children is very dramatic...

CrazyCatzCuckoo Sun 09-Apr-17 09:39:00

Why wouldn't you have said anything though?
It was only concern as it was quite easy to tell the kid was hurt rather than just screaming as she couldn't have something for example
I've had 3 kids or my own so I can tell the difference
What do you mean hiding?

CherryChasingDotMuncher Sun 09-Apr-17 09:41:04

Sorry but YABVU - you were clearly prying in a passive aggressive way, if I was your neighbour I'd think you were having a sly dig about noise. She obviously had a rough day yesterday (downsides of sun + children they're knackered/naughty by 6.30) and possibly a rough night. "fuck off" is a bit harsh but SWNBU to put you in your place

opinionatedfreak Sun 09-Apr-17 09:41:19

Would make me wonder about what was going on.

I too might have made that sort of comment out of concern for a child who may have been hurt.

nackle Sun 09-Apr-17 09:41:28

In modern Britain asking if things are ok is sticking your nose in now?

AnUtterIdiot Sun 09-Apr-17 09:41:40

I think if what you heard doesn't have you phoning 999 when you hear it, you don't mention it the next day unless you know them very well.

MrsPacMan Sun 09-Apr-17 09:41:45

I'd just apologise for any misunderstanding next time you see her, just to clear the air.

She's overreacted IMO but best to clear the tension

Lilyargin Sun 09-Apr-17 09:43:04

Extremely rude! You were only being concerned and caring. I don't see that as nosey. What did you say when she told you to fuck off?

CherryChasingDotMuncher Sun 09-Apr-17 09:43:10

Why wouldn't you have said anything though?

Our neighbors on one side have 2 under 2. On the other side there are 2 kids about 6 and 8. Across the road they have 4-year old quads. If I said something every time there was a thud or scream I'd have no time left in the day! It sounds like a perfectly normal family situation, why would you say something and not just "good morning"?

Booboobedoo Sun 09-Apr-17 09:43:15

I suppose it's arguable that mentioning it showed questionable judgment, but she was VU to speak to you like that.

People are so odd.

DoomGloomAndKaboom Sun 09-Apr-17 09:43:41

I think you did nothing wrong. You were asking after a child you thought had been hurt. Your neighbour was very rude.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Sun 09-Apr-17 09:43:44

YANBU. How bloody rude.
You can't win unfortunately in this world. Well, you've seen that first hand both on here and IRL. Yes you touched a nerve, but What nerve. What is going on there that made her get so defensive, because. Where I'm from. You don't tell people to fuck off when they show concern.

treaclesoda Sun 09-Apr-17 09:44:27

I just mean hiding in the sense that a reaction like that would make me wonder what happened where previously I would just have thought it was the children hurting each other because a game got out of hand. But that's most likely just my imagination getting carried away because she reacted so badly.

In her situation I'd have been rolling my eyes inwardly at you being nosey, but I wouldn't have told you to fuck off.

Mermaidinthesea123 Sun 09-Apr-17 09:45:31

Wow how incredibly rude though, my neighbour with kids would never speak to me like that. There is just no call for it.
They would just laugh and say no problems over here.
It makes you wonder if there is something going on.

Chocolatecake12 Sun 09-Apr-17 09:46:08

She was being very rude. You were just politely asking if all was ok in a nice neighbourly manner, no need for her rudeness.
Don't make it awkward next time, just know not to even pass the time of day.

AnUtterIdiot Sun 09-Apr-17 09:47:43

I wouldn't say that to a neighbour who asked your question but I would probably be thinking it. She's probably thinking that now on top of having to manage two spirited twins she's also got to field a conversation with you about it every time one of them makes the other one cry.

wibblywobblyfish Sun 09-Apr-17 09:48:09

Yanbu. You weren't sticking your nose in and she was really rude!

RedBugMug Sun 09-Apr-17 09:48:55

yanbu
something unusual happend. (fall out of bed?).
you ask in a neighbourly way if everything is ok.

could be just a bad day (for them).

Funnyonion17 Sun 09-Apr-17 09:50:02

She sounds a bit too defensive imo. I would be concerned too but then you shouldn't have asked

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now