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To ask if my wedding plans are REALLY enough?

(510 Posts)
Isthismummy Sun 05-Mar-17 10:48:23

Posted about this before, but really stressing about the fact that friends are STILL trying to get me to add more to the day.

Getting married in Central London in Summer. Registery office wedding at 12.45 and afterwards we will be walking ten minutes to our favourite hotel where we have booked the library for a champagne afternoon tea reception. We have the room for our exclusive use until 20.00 and husband to be and I have a room booked at same hotel for wedding night.

We're only having 18 guests. The plan was that we would have Afternoon Tea etc and people could either stay on until later with us if they wished to drink the cocktail menu dry, or go home if they'd had enough. We just want a low pressure, relaxed day.

However my bridesmaids think it is isn't enough. They originally tried to persuade us to organise a night time do somewhere else. We've now vetoed that idea and now that's changed to booking a table at a restaurant later on in the evening after hotel.

AIBU to be pissed off that they don't seem to think my plans are enough? We've got six hours exclusive use of a beautuful room at a four star hotel ffs! I appreciate some guests are travelling from North East and want to make a day of it, but it's making me feel really stressed and like my plans are inadequate in some waysad

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Sun 05-Mar-17 10:49:48

Sounds fantastic to me!!
Remember it's your day and the plans are what makes you happy - nobody else!!
Make sure someone takes photos tho!

Heratnumber7 Sun 05-Mar-17 10:50:56

Do what YOU want. They are just after a paid for night out!

ChocolateRaisin Sun 05-Mar-17 10:51:16

It sounds lovely to me.

coffeemachine Sun 05-Mar-17 10:51:33

your wedding, your decision.

maybe cancel the bridesmaids too grin

timeforabrewnow Sun 05-Mar-17 10:51:38

My advice is to do whatever the hell you want, as it's your day. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

What you have planned sounds very nice, and I think your friends are rude.

Doilooklikeatourist Sun 05-Mar-17 10:52:04

Sounds perfect to me ,
Tell the bridesmaids they can organise their own weddings their way , and you are doing your wedding your way
Or sack the bridesmaids

coffeemachine Sun 05-Mar-17 10:52:07

forgot to add: your plans sound great to me

Mrsglitterfairy Sun 05-Mar-17 10:52:28

I think I've read about this before and thought at the time that it sounds like a lovely day. Please try not to let other people rain on your parade, people should be happy for you, your wedding is your day and should be spent how you wish.
Let people know tat there is a bar and restaurant if they want to stay on and they are then free to do as they wish. I personally would love to be a guest at your wedding, some are very long days but you feel that you have to stay until at least 12pm whereas with yours, people can start to leave when they have had enough

SloanyAnne Sun 05-Mar-17 10:52:30

Your plans sound lovely. It's your wedding. You need 'It's our wedding day and that's what we want' on repeat whenever it comes up. No need for anyhing further to be said. That's all the reason you need to give. No further discussion/explanation necessary.

chantico Sun 05-Mar-17 10:53:26

As long as you make it clear to your guests that they'll need to have lunch before they arrive (as it'll be a long time hungry until teatime if they don't) then that all sounds fine).

They'll probably need to thin out to go for dinner at 8 (leaving you and DH to have your wedding night together, which I suspect is what you are after!)

MrsMozart Sun 05-Mar-17 10:54:00

Sounds like an ideal day to me, although what I or others think doesn't really matter, it's what you two want that's important.

I hope the nay sayers shut up and you can destress and enjoy.

MumUndone Sun 05-Mar-17 10:55:35

I think your plans are great - if people want to stay on and drink cocktails, they can!

haveacupoftea Sun 05-Mar-17 10:56:04

Sounds amazing. Also sounds like you have too many bridesmaids.

Bluntness100 Sun 05-Mar-17 10:56:32

Is the plan everyone pays their share of the meal? I think if they all want to do something it's fair enough. It's not fair enough if they expect you to pay. You don't have to join them, uou can say you want a romantic meal just you and your husband.

Isthismummy Sun 05-Mar-17 10:56:48

I honestly don't think they mean to cause offence. The one coming up with all the ideas goes to about a million wedding a year, so I suspect has very fixed ideas of what a wedding involves.

I didn't think the restaurant idea was bad at first, but after further though I decided that a) taking guests to a third location in one day will be stressful and b) I'll be forcing down food I don't want as Afternoon Tea is more than enough for me food wise.

Plus there's the stress of people expecting us to pay and we really can't afford it.

There's a restaurant in hotel obviously, but really can't afford the prices!shock

Bloomed Sun 05-Mar-17 10:57:45

Your idea sounds great. Think the bridesmaids need to be reminded of their roles ...

Prawnofthepatriarchy Sun 05-Mar-17 10:57:59

Your plan sounds delightful and so much more classy than some of the ostentatious weddings you get. Stick to your guns.

XiCi Sun 05-Mar-17 10:59:32

Your day sounds lovely although I think that given you have people travelling so far it's not unreasonable for them to expect some food in the evening. If you are dead set on finishing at 8 could you book a table in the hotel restaurant for your guests and explain that you and DP will be sloping off the the honeymoon suite?

Maverickismywingman Sun 05-Mar-17 10:59:50

I'm well jealous because your wedding sounds like perfection to me!!!

mmgirish Sun 05-Mar-17 11:00:53

Your wedding sounds lovely. Don't have your hand forced by anyone else because you'll think back and regret it. If your friends and family want to head out in London afterwards then great! They can crack on while you and your husband retire to your room.

sonyaya Sun 05-Mar-17 11:01:14

I'm sure they mean no offence but ignore them - you get to decide what kind of wedding you want. As long as the invitation is clear about the plans, nothing wrong at all with finishing at 8pm.

SukeyTakeItOffAgain Sun 05-Mar-17 11:01:45

It sounds absolutely lovely.

The only thing I would wonder is why, if it's that low key and small, you are having bridesmaids. But I would wonder in my head not out loud.

Have a great day.

MaidOfStars Sun 05-Mar-17 11:02:16

Afternoon tea would not be enough to sustain me from an early breakfast. What time is it being served?

Isthismummy Sun 05-Mar-17 11:02:51

Chantico. The afternoon tea will be served around 15.00 and everyone can stuff their faces with as many sandwiches, scones, cakes and champagne as they likegrin

The plan was people could stay on afterwards for drinks until later, or they are welcome to leave if they get bored, hungry etc.

I don't think dp's family will stay on until late anyway, so it would just be my close friends and possibly parents for late night meal anyway. To be honest though I won't be hungry again and I'll be forcing down food! Plus I'd quite like to retire to our posh hotel room with my new hubbiegrin

Pining for the days where bride and groom left the celebrations after a few hours to be honest. It's too much pressure!

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