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To feel successful?

(178 Posts)
DaftJelly Wed 11-Jan-17 07:43:15

I don't really. But I'm sliding into depression and doing a 'count your blessings' exercise.

Reasons to feel successful/worthwhile.

I have three great kids who do well at school and have lots of friends.

I live in a beautiful house and have spent the last couple of weeks tidying it to within an inch of its life.

Dh is wonderful and we have a lovely marriage.

We have enough money for extras most of the time.

I've lost two and a half stone in the last few months.

I get out of bed every day and get all three kids to school, ds2's school run is a two mile round trip and I walk it with the dog 😇

I usually cook a decent evening meal.

I haven't had a drink since the day before NYE.

These are the things I'm focusing on today (while trying to ignore all the terrible things about me).

Anyone else? It's a really useful exercise. And this is prime depression time for a lot of people.

justforthisonce Wed 11-Jan-17 07:55:03

Not sure of the point of this thread - it just reads as stealth boasts and bragging .

DaftJelly Wed 11-Jan-17 07:56:19

It's not! It's about listing the positives to counteract the negative thoughts.

My negatives list would be three times as long.

RedHelenB Wed 11-Jan-17 07:58:29

Sorry, it does sound a bit like bragging but it is good to concentrate on the food things in your life.

WheresLarry Wed 11-Jan-17 08:01:14

I think it sounds like the OP needed a boost to stop any negative feelings, rather than a stealth boast.

Just remember them positive thoughts whenever you feel down OP.

LuxuryWoman2017 Wed 11-Jan-17 08:01:37

I don't see it as boasting at all. Looking for the good is a helpful thing to do when you're feeling down. Positive thinking isn't it?
Good for you op.

bettybiggestballs Wed 11-Jan-17 08:01:39

Justforthisonce - staggered that you read the op and posted what you did. That was so unkind. I hope it made you feel good about yourself.

OP - yanbu. Focusing on the positive if small things can really keep your head above water. Keep them coming!

DaftJelly Wed 11-Jan-17 08:04:28

Ok, I'll spin it round to explain (although that counteracts the point of the thread).

I shout at the kids far more than I should and often don't fulfil my parenting duties so DH has to.

We live in a lovely house but only because dh bought his flat cheap when he was young. I don't deserve it. It's only tidy because I've been hypomanic for two weeks, which has come with its own problems.

I'm very lucky to have a great husband, I have no idea why he stays with me as I put him through hell when I'm ill.

We have enough money for extras because dh budgets very tightly and I'm not allowed free access to cash and cards, I run up huge debts frequently.

I still have another few stone to lose, I am fatter than I've ever been.

After the school run I pretty much lie on the sofa watching Netflix until it's time for pick up.

Some days the kids have to make their own tea, or if dh is in he'll do it.

I'm an alcoholic.

Does that make more sense?

ailPartout Wed 11-Jan-17 08:04:48

Don't people usually do this privately?


DaftJelly Wed 11-Jan-17 08:05:16

X posted with the last few! I thought I was going mad(der) there for a bit!

KathArtic Wed 11-Jan-17 08:05:47

Well done for losing weight, especially over Christmas.

Cleaning and cooking are solitary, do you met up with friends? Any family around? Basically don't get lonely.

Upforathird Wed 11-Jan-17 08:07:56

Daftjelly! Well done you. What a good idea!

To the posters that say this is boasting - poor attitude. What about a bit of female empowerment and now about having a go at this yourselves!! Shocked that anyone could think that someone trying to think positively is bragging.

Powergower Wed 11-Jan-17 08:08:02

Stay positive op.

Upforathird Wed 11-Jan-17 08:09:31

Daftjelly you did not need to turn that around - you ruined the point of the brilliant thread you started! Stay positive xx

C4Envelope Wed 11-Jan-17 08:10:51

Focus on those positives OP. Dont bother reading into the often thoughtless and crass comments of those who can't see past their own jealousy.

The first responses to this thread are an absolutely fantastic example of why you shouldn't read a book by its cover. Nor skim read as OP clearly states she is 'slipping into depression'.

Everyone should try to look at the positives - im turning the 5am wake up into a "oh lovelly an extra two hours to spend with DD today" while internally screaming.

Well done OP on not drinking since NYE. I have experienxe with alcoholism in the family and recognise what an achievement that can be flowers for you.

Only1scoop Wed 11-Jan-17 08:12:18

Amazing weight loss Op, and good to concentrate on all those really positive areas.

Are you attending any meetings for the drinking?
Do you see friends?

Upforathird Wed 11-Jan-17 08:12:50

Here's mine -

I have two healthy, fantastic children who light up my every day.

My DH is a lovely man who works really hard and helps lot at home.

We have a lovely house in a great location.

I am still (fairly) young and lots of opportunities could come my way.

I have a great group of friends who make me laugh and support me in times of need.

A few friends have recently had babies and I can't wait to meet them!

I have managed to eat much more healthily in the last week.

Waltermittythesequel Wed 11-Jan-17 08:14:42

Report your negative post, OP.

The point of the thread is lovely and positive. Don't let dick heads ruin it. flowers

bettybiggestballs Wed 11-Jan-17 08:14:56

What the fuck is wrong with sharing and celebrating successes? Men rarely have this self-imposed, group regulated fear of recognising achievement. Some posters are falling over themselves to put the OP back in her box.

Gooseberryfools Wed 11-Jan-17 08:15:59

It's not a stealth boast!

Yes I'll count my blessings too. Later

Isadora2007 Wed 11-Jan-17 08:18:50

I think it sounds like you're doing really really well. But I would worry if you're not getting adequate support for your depression and also that a lot of what you've listed sounds like you have a "good enough" list you're aiming for. A list that says "I will be good enough only if I- have an immaculate house, weigh less, never drink alcohol, exercise regularly...
Not that that list is bad. Just that you only value yourself IF you can uphold all that and then Depression can move those goalposts and so you never ever manage to feel worthy or okay or happy with you just as you- flaws and all.

Scooby20 Wed 11-Jan-17 08:20:01

Its not boasting. It says right there in your OP. Its about focusing on the good stuff.

Well done op. Its a great thing to do.

Philoslothy Wed 11-Jan-17 08:21:49

Well done OP, it is often hard to recognise what we are getting right.Tackling either the drink or the weight would be tough, you are doing both .

PrettyBotanicals Wed 11-Jan-17 08:21:52

What nasty-minded people opened the comments.

OP, I know from other threads how tough things have been and I send you flowers for your strength, optimism and painful honesty.

Kudos too for your dignity in the face of such spiteful tosh and I hope you see through it to the insecurity that triggers such an unnecessary reaction.

You sound as though your positives are starting to take hold. They are far more than many people achieve; well done for controlling the dreaded booze this year and cleaning is always safer than many other hypo behaviours.

So proud of you!

Isadora2007 Wed 11-Jan-17 08:22:29

Sorry. Cross posted with your update re alcohol. Obviously as a recognised alcoholic it Is indeed best for you that you don't drink.

Do you like yourself at all OP? You sound like a really genuine person who is trying hard to turn things around and I just hope you can use the suppprt of friends and maybe other specific groups to help you achieve that as I am sure you can and will. flowers

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