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To think my sister is tight?

(370 Posts)
BatsHitKrazee Sun 09-Oct-16 08:37:55

I have two sisters - we are all close in age.

My younger sister is 29 , I'm 30 and my older sister is 33.

My younger sister and I live at home with our parents whereas my older sister has a family of her own with her husband .

At Christmas , myself and my younger sister buy our two nieces Christmas presents costing around £15-£20.

My parents (their grandparents) also spend around £20 each on them but they don't buy for my older sister or her husband.

My older sister refuses to buy for us two other sisters even though we buy her children !

Instead , she buys a "family" present like a hamper or something for around £30-£40 for us and my parents to share.

My mum has tried asking my older sister to give us an actual present or some money but older sister ignores her and buys a family gift.

WIBU to give older sister plenty of notice and ask her nicely if she could get me and my sister something specific this year?

Or should we cut back on what we spend on our nieces?

I feel it's unfair that she isn't buying us a gift but we are buying for her children !

DrunkenMissOrderly Sun 09-Oct-16 08:39:47

Maybe when you have left home and are living on a budget while holding down a house and bills and the cost of raising a family you'll understand?

Afreshstartplease Sun 09-Oct-16 08:39:50

They are children

You are not

Why do you care so much?

LeatherAndLace Sun 09-Oct-16 08:39:50

You do sound a little grabby, sorry.
She us actually getting a gift isn't she, it's just not one each.
I can see where you're coming from but I always feel you should appreciate what you've been given.

MoreCoffeeNow Sun 09-Oct-16 08:40:36

In our family we only buy for the children. Maybe joke presents for adults.

Only1scoop Sun 09-Oct-16 08:42:16

I feel embarrassed on your behalf.

IfartInYourGeneralDirection Sun 09-Oct-16 08:42:35

I can't believe your mum asked her to buy you stuffshock

You sound 15 not double that

treaclesoda Sun 09-Oct-16 08:42:45

Maybe she can't afford any more?

mygorgeousmilo Sun 09-Oct-16 08:42:58

You sound pathetic, and it's YOU that's being tight. £15 is quite low on kids' presents, when you don't have a household to run. Stop being such a child

bloodymaria Sun 09-Oct-16 08:42:59

Do you hear yourself?? Yes, YABU! You have what, zero living costs compared to your older sister. Grow up!

lemony7 Sun 09-Oct-16 08:43:02

Are you serious?! Be grateful for anything! Christmas is about family, not the value of presents.

Also, you have no idea how much running a home/raising a family costs, so spare money is rare and you cannot afford expensive gifts for everyone. Perhaps she wants to get you all the world but cannot afford it.

You sound thoroughly ungrateful. If you were my sister having this conversation with me I would lose my shit and give you nothing.

teacher54321 Sun 09-Oct-16 08:43:02

why do you and your other sister live at home? I imagine that you are not paying market rate rent/bills and therefore have more disposable income.
Your eldest sister is probably budgeting and feels it's better to buy a bigger present for you all to share rather than getting lots of small presents.
Also as an adult who really tots up the value of presents? Sounds really grabby.

NickyEds Sun 09-Oct-16 08:43:03

It's not tit for tat ffs, they are children. Grow up.

dementedpixie Sun 09-Oct-16 08:43:37

You are getting something if she does a joint hamper. It would be different if she got you nothing at all.

SabineUndine Sun 09-Oct-16 08:43:50

I don't think this kind of thing is unusual. I gave up doing family Christmas presents long ago because I've got no kids and ended up buying my 3 gifts for my DB SILand niece and getting one back. I'm quite a generous present giver and after a few years it pissed me off as they were giving me things that weren't very nice and had no thought put into them.

Emochild Sun 09-Oct-16 08:44:04

No presents post 18 in our family for siblings or nephews/nieces

Children get presents because they are children and therefore cannot work to get the things they need/want

You presumably as an adult can hold down a job and buy the things you want for yourself

why you are living at home at 30 is beyond me

TitaniasTits Sun 09-Oct-16 08:44:05

FFS. You are 30. 30. Move out of your parents' house, you moocher!

Bubblebloodypop Sun 09-Oct-16 08:44:11

YABU, grabby and ungrateful. Maybe that's all she can afford? A hamper to share is a nice present anyway.

LeatherAndLace Sun 09-Oct-16 08:44:13

Sorry I read it wrong, I thought you meant the sister living at home.

Very unreasonable in that case.

pilotswife Sun 09-Oct-16 08:44:17

errr they are children, you are not! Is this for real ??!

AndShesGone Sun 09-Oct-16 08:44:17

It's perfectly normal for buying for children, not adults.

Why do you want a gift when you don't buy for the adults?

And your mum doesn't buy for the adults?

zoebarnes Sun 09-Oct-16 08:44:35

I don't mean to be harsh, but you need to grow up.

Your sister has made it clear she's not doing individual adult presents, and to my mind a hamper sounds lovely.

You have the choice to not buy for her kids, but if you're doing it as tit for tat, that makes you seriously immature in my opinion.

If you're so desperate for your own present or money from her, ask your sister not to buy the hamper this year and give you all a tenner in a card instead? You'll sound like a twat and it will be v unchristmassy but as long as it's 'fair'. hmm

Ragwort Sun 09-Oct-16 08:45:27

Seriously, you and your sister are 29 and 30 and you care about stuff like this?

It sounds as though your older sister has made a very sensible decision to buy all of you that still live at home a nice present to share.

And surely you enjoy giving gifts to your nieces ?

GlitterBox Sun 09-Oct-16 08:45:48

I can't believe you're 30 and whining on about the fairness of who spends what at Christmas! You sound very immature.
You should be buying gifts for those people who you want to givw to at Chriatmas and not because you think you'll be entitled to a gift in return.

clare2307 Sun 09-Oct-16 08:46:03

You grudge buying presents for your neices because your sister doesn't buy you a present and you are asking if your sister is tight?! I'm sure if/when you have children your sister will buy for them... If u buy a gift for someone's child (family or otherwise) I do not expect them to buy me one!!

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