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AIBU to think its just bizarre behaviour and rude to do this?

(285 Posts)
Sparklyshoes16 Fri 30-Sep-16 14:57:46

Today I went for meet up with a few friends and one of them didn't want to finish off their lunch so turned round to me in front of our group and said "I'm so full, here you finish this off", I declined and carried on with mine. We then ordered cake and coffee to finish off before going home, she had a very small bite of what she ordered and then again in front of everyone said "here you might as well finish this" again I declined and carried on eating what I had ordered. It was still sat there when we had all finished eating and she said "stop staring at it and have it if you want it" very loudly. I firmly said I don't want it and carried on talking/eating to everyone else I wasn't even looking at it. She has done this a few times in front of other people and I'm not sure why as I have never finished off someone else's meal (only my own family when I've been really hungry smile). I'm quite large and she is VERY skinny so i don't know if it's just some sly other friend text me and asked if i was OK as she had noticed it became a little frosty...I don't want to reply as she is known to make a drama out of things...just feeling a little bit hurt...were all meant to be going out tomorrow night for another friend's joint birthday meal but don't feel like going as don't want any comments whilst eating.

LittleBearPad Fri 30-Sep-16 14:59:06

What an odd person.

I'd have been frosty too!

Biffa44 Fri 30-Sep-16 15:03:10

It is a sly dig. Had this before with someone from work who helped herself to loads of cake on a team afternoon tea, picked at it then left about 95% of it. I was the idiot who said 'Oh dear, do you not like it?', trying to sound sympathetic. 'Oh,' she replied,' It's far too rich for me, but you eat it if you want it' whilst looking me up and down and smirking. She is painfully thin. I am amply proportioned.

MrsHulk Fri 30-Sep-16 15:03:12

Yeah she's being bitchy based on your size. If you feel you can do it calmly, next time just say "why do you keep suggesting I finish your food? I've never finished somebody else's meal." She can't really respond with the truth so will hopefully be embarrassed and never do it again.

Mozfan1 Fri 30-Sep-16 15:03:12

Frosty? I would have been a fucking iceberg. She's odd. Ditch.

ElspethFlashman Fri 30-Sep-16 15:06:44

Yeah, she's trying to portray you as a glutton.

Go out tomorrow but have a ready phrase to hand in advance. Politely declining isn't working, so try a tinkly laugh and a "why on earth would I want your leftovers, Sue? Silly!"

She'll look a bit odd then if she pulled the same trick at the next course.

She'll be sour about it of course, and may even retort with something rude. The only way to counter that would be to look pityingly at her and say gently "Now now, Sue - it's Ann's evening"

If she wants to act about 7, then respond as if she's 7!

Tissunnyupnorth Fri 30-Sep-16 15:08:35

It does seem a bit odd that she said this three times. It might be that your response needs to be a bit more firm, to close this behaviour down as it would be a shame if it makes you not want to join the group on an evening out.

How about, 'no thanks, I've got plenty, why on earth do you think I want to eat your leftovers'. Followed by a little shrug and smile, then turn to carry on a conversation with somebody else.

Go to the meal, but sit far away!

MadAsABagOfCats Fri 30-Sep-16 15:11:11

I would have a quiet word with your "friend" and ask her why she keeps demanding that you eat her leftover food. It's weird at best, mean at worst. Could she be hiding an eating disorder?

ElspethFlashman Fri 30-Sep-16 15:12:44

Yes, definitely sit as far away as you can get away with. And definitely not across the table from her in her eyeline.

Mozfan1 Fri 30-Sep-16 15:12:52

What Els said- she's nasty and vindictive.

humblesims Fri 30-Sep-16 15:13:12

yes she does sound a bit wierd. Does she only do it with you? I agree with others that you should pull her up on it. what can she say?

RainbowDashian Fri 30-Sep-16 15:17:16

It sounds like she has some issues around food or something. Very odd behaviour!

blushrush Fri 30-Sep-16 15:18:58

If she does it again, give her a disgusted look and say "Oh god no, I would never eat someone else's chewed leftovers" and finish off with a tinkering laugh to the rest of the group.

That should knock her down a bit ;)

Boogers Fri 30-Sep-16 15:19:12

"Why order it if you're not going to eat it? It's as much a waste in me as it is left on your plate" would have been my response, and I say that as someone who is, ahem, amply proportioned. She's having a dig, and if you were staring at her leftover cake and salivating then yes I can see why she said it, but you weren't, you were having normal conversations with the rest of the group. If anything I'd look and wonder why she ordered it if she was full from the first course.

Allibear Fri 30-Sep-16 15:19:15

She sounds like a bitch! Lucky other people are noticing, she'll be old news soon so you don't have to deal with her. (Btw i'd have eaten her extra cake grin)

DavidPuddy Fri 30-Sep-16 15:19:18

I would also wonder about her eating. I think possibly she is jealous of you, maybe she wishes she could eat it all and still have your confidence?

ElspethFlashman Fri 30-Sep-16 15:19:47

It's also a way of announcing to the table that she hasn't finished her meal, isn't it?

"Look at me! I'm so dainty and restrained! I have to say it out loud otherwise you won't notice!"

BorpBorpBorp Fri 30-Sep-16 15:20:38

"No thanks, if I'd wanted two slices of cake I'd have ordered two slices of cake."

Realhousewivesofshit Fri 30-Sep-16 15:21:56

She's a grade A bitch.

Absolutely please do what Elspeth said. The leftover comment is great and practise wrinkling your nose saying it as if her fork would have her dirty germs on it.

And please report back.

Silly cow bag. Bet she's jealous of you really.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Fri 30-Sep-16 15:22:53

Suggest she takes the leftovers home as you have seen more meat on a butchers apron.

e1y1 Fri 30-Sep-16 15:29:14

Shut the bitch down!

(assuming) she has ordered something different to you, just say no thank you, if I had have wanted that, I would have ordered that.

I know it sounds rude as a reply, but she is clearly not getting it with you politely declining.

It's very very odd, if you had have finished your meals before her offer, it would be sort of understandable, but to offer whilst you're still eating your own, cannot make me see it as anything else but a dig.

Other response would be if she offers again, say - do you not like what you have got? You're welcome to try some of mine, she definitely won't offer again.

trafalgargal Fri 30-Sep-16 15:31:05

"Oh no I don't want your germs"

Jellybean83 Fri 30-Sep-16 15:32:24

That's just fucking rude and nasty, she is having a dig at your weight and trying to embarrass you. I'd reevaluate that friendship if I were you.

2kids2dogsnosense Fri 30-Sep-16 15:33:14

I was thinking along the same lines as Beardeddragon.

"You eat it - you could use the calories".
"Blimey - are you anorexic or something'
"Your eyes must be bigger than your belly - though that wouldn't take much!"

2kids2dogsnosense Fri 30-Sep-16 15:35:33


I would have eaten her cake, too!

And said - I'm so lucky DH likes a voluptuous woman - he can't stand these girls who are skinny. He says they are like ironing boards with ribs." (And then I would give A Tinkly Little Laugh)

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