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to think that if you host a pool party on a hot day ...

(302 Posts)
CocktailQueen Mon 18-Jul-16 10:57:34

... you check that other dc have sun tan lotion on/aren't burning?

DD went to a friend's pool party on Sat. I gave her water-resistant factor 40 sun lotion. She came back burned - face, back, shoulders (despite applying and reapplying lotion), and thirsty - she only had 3 small glasses of water in 5 hours, and she hadn't been to the loo (didn't like to ask).

DD is 12. I know she bears responsibility for her own sun lotion, but if you were the mum, wouldn't you have checked that dc weren't burning? It was the first really hot day of the year! She has never been sunburned before... All the other dc at the party are burned too.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Mon 18-Jul-16 10:59:22


I'd expect a 12 year old to know to stay out of the sun, ask for a drink and manage to find a toilet.

If she was 6 I'd agree with you, but not a 12 year old.

mouldycheesefan Mon 18-Jul-16 11:00:38

I would expect the kids parents to have already made sure that their children had sunscreen in before arriving at the party. I wouldn't see that as my responsibility as the host. You trusted your dd to Put the sun cream on, she didn't do it.

MadHattersWineParty Mon 18-Jul-16 11:01:13

At 12 she can take responsibility for avoiding sunburn I think. Why can't she ask where the toilet is?!

branofthemist Mon 18-Jul-16 11:01:19

At 12? No.

Dd is 12 and applies her own sun cream and sorts herself on holiday. Obviously we help her with her back.

I wouldn't expect at that age, that a child who has her own suncream to be told to put it on.

mouldycheesefan Mon 18-Jul-16 11:01:30

I wouldn't have let my child leave the house without having proper sunscreen on for a pool party.

CocktailQueen Mon 18-Jul-16 11:01:47

Read my post, Mouldy - dd did apply and reapply the cream. hmm

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Mon 18-Jul-16 11:01:50

I'm actually not convinced about suntan lotion anyway.

I only used it once and was horribly burnt.

I went out with SiL a few years back and she was reapplying it every thirty minutes whereas I didn't wear any. She was burnt and I wasn't and I have much fairer skin than her.

branofthemist Mon 18-Jul-16 11:02:29

Oh and if she daren't ask where to loo is maybe she isn't quite at a maturity level where she is going to people's houses. That's not me trying to be nasty. But it maybe the case.

Again, if she wanted more water....she should have asked.

Believeitornot Mon 18-Jul-16 11:03:00

No wonder your DCs don't like to ask for the toilet if you think they're incapable of basic things like applying sun cream etc

I would have had her apply it before leaving home and given her something to pop over the top of her costume. Plus a hat.

sorenofthejnaii Mon 18-Jul-16 11:03:19

I think a reminder wouldn't hurt.

Even at 12, children forget. Get absorbed and don't realise.

Perfectly capable of getting drinks though and asking about the toilet.

mouldycheesefan Mon 18-Jul-16 11:03:26

Perhaps a rash vest would be better option then if she burns even with sun cream on also use factor 50

branofthemist Mon 18-Jul-16 11:04:47

Are you sure she did reapply it? Properly? If so, she needs a higher factor and needs to be aware of burning. She should also have the shirt that you don't mind getting wet. Still not the hosts fault.

Pinkheart5915 Mon 18-Jul-16 11:04:52

I don't have a child that old only a baby but when I take my 13 yr old nephew out if it's hot I always say about sun cream and tell him to top up in the day. It only takes a minute and I'd rather ask remind they him be returned to my brother burnt.

When I was little my sister when about 12 went to the beach with her friend and friends Mum despite Our mum not being Keen and although mum had said to sister top up sun cream etc of course she didn't and came home red raw and incredibly thirsty but her friend was burnt the same the friends mum hadn't checked sun cream on her daughter let alone my sister. Friends mum liked to get a tan hmm that's called burning love not tanning

iknowimcoming Mon 18-Jul-16 11:05:29

Kingjoffery - errr yeah sun lotion is really an urban myth and a huge con by the pharmaceutical industry, it really makes you burn more than not having any on ......... hmm

sorenofthejnaii Mon 18-Jul-16 11:05:37

Reverse it - if your 12 yr old got burnt at a pool party and did not get a drink, who would you blame?

Your DC
The host

MadHattersWineParty Mon 18-Jul-16 11:05:52

If she burns with suncream on despite reapplying it what did you expect the mum to do? Send her to sit inside? You were obviously okay with her spending time outside on a hot day as you let her attend the party confused

Okkitokkiunga Mon 18-Jul-16 11:06:25

If she was reapplying it what exactly did you want the host to do? You can't see burn until it's too late anyway.

They should have made sure there was a constant supply of drinks though. Jug of water isn't hard.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Mon 18-Jul-16 11:08:05

I'm not saying it's an urban myth. Maybe.

But I think the advice should be cover up, rather than slather on chemicals.

ghostyslovesheep Mon 18-Jul-16 11:08:20

Did she have a t shirt or hat?

Honestly while I would probably have noticed and reminded her the drink/ toilet thing is up to her

CremeBrulee Mon 18-Jul-16 11:08:41

She's 12, definitely unreasonable to blame the party hosts for her getting burned.

And if she had applied and re-applied her sunscreen as you say, what were the hosts supposed to do?

Sparklesilverglitter Mon 18-Jul-16 11:08:57

I would of shouted out to all children during the course of the day about reapplying sun cream and I would of put plastic throw away cups of squash and fizz in the fridge and told the children to help themselves as I was very shy as a child and sometimes was too embrassed to ask for a drink in people's homes silly I know.

It takes a second to remind about sun cream

DeathStare Mon 18-Jul-16 11:09:01

Nope. At 12 I'd expect them to get themselves out of the sun if they were burning. I'd also expect them to ask for/get a drink when they needed one and to ask for directions to the toilet.

To be honest I'd expect that if a much younger child. If your DD can't manage that then she's not really ready to be left unsupervised by her own parents.

sorenofthejnaii Mon 18-Jul-16 11:09:24

TBF - if it was really hot and they were by the pool all day, I think the parents who were hosting should have suggested they got some shade and made sure they put the cream on.

Hot weather and a pool at midday is sunburn heaven.

Even 12 and 13 yr olds need reminding some time.

Costacoffeeplease Mon 18-Jul-16 11:11:38

No - at 12 she should be perfectly capable of asking for a drink/where the toilet is/sorting out her own sun cream (unless you're going to drip feed additional needs)

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