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to be furious with my brother

(372 Posts)
loopylooloo1 Thu 19-May-16 11:06:54

My brother has been with his now wife for 8 years,they have a child together,we barely see him even though we don't live far,by we I mean myself and my siblings and also my parents,He has just phoned to tell us that him and his now wife have just gone off and got married without telling any of us,im fuming,but he doesn't seem to think he has done anything wrong

AndTakeYourPenguinWithYou Thu 19-May-16 11:08:12

He hasn't done anything wrong.

Imnotaslimjim Thu 19-May-16 11:09:55

What has he "done wrong"? So you missed out on a party! If I could have gone off and just done it without input from anyone else I would have done!

Pinkheart5915 Thu 19-May-16 11:10:29

He hasn't done anything wrong.
He's got married, some people do not want a big wedding and what's wrong with that.
Me and dh got married in San Francisco with just baby ds.

EatShitDerek Thu 19-May-16 11:11:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

loopylooloo1 Thu 19-May-16 11:11:39

hes gone and got married with none of us there

ChronicNameChangerz Thu 19-May-16 11:11:44

What's he done wrong?

ChronicNameChangerz Thu 19-May-16 11:12:10

X-post

So, isn't it up to him how, when, why and to whom he gets married?

Tiggeryoubastard Thu 19-May-16 11:12:19

Fuming? If that's what you're like no wonder you're not close and he got married before telling you. Think I'd avoid you as well.

RosaBee Thu 19-May-16 11:12:30

He's done exactly what he and his wife wanted, what's wrong with that? it is their day after all.

EatShitDerek Thu 19-May-16 11:12:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkheart5915 Thu 19-May-16 11:12:52

So you missed out on a party? Maybe grow up!

He's got married. His happy. Who cares who wasn't there

loopylooloo1 Thu 19-May-16 11:13:02

because none of us knew about it until he phoned to tell us,my mum and dad are upset cos they didn't get to see their son get married

Clandestino Thu 19-May-16 11:13:14

hes gone and got married with none of us there

Could it be that your irritation and the fact that you are "fuming" is the reason he doesn't want to have much contact with you and got married without you knowing about it?

ThatsMyStapler Thu 19-May-16 11:13:20

He's got married in private, again, what has he done wrong?

MyKingdomForBrie Thu 19-May-16 11:13:30

He's done absolutely nothing wrong. His wedding is about the two of them, not you.

You need to get over yourself.

ChronicNameChangerz Thu 19-May-16 11:13:42

we barely see him This is important. You're obviously not close. Perhaps he didn't want to invite, spend the day with and pay for dinner for people he's not particularly close to. Not unreasonable at all.

Lumpylumperson Thu 19-May-16 11:13:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MatildaTheCat Thu 19-May-16 11:13:55

Well you are upset but he obviously had his own reasons for doing that. It's not an oversight like forgetting a birthday or buying the wrong present.

Sadly for you they didn't want you or your family there. Do you really have no idea why? I'm not being snippy, genuinely interested.

SuburbanRhonda Thu 19-May-16 11:14:06

Have you thought about why he might not have wanted you there? Maybe they couldn't afford a big event and decided to do it quietly?

Pinkheart5915 Thu 19-May-16 11:14:28

I still don't see what all the fuss is about.

Two people that love each other got married.

enjoyingscience Thu 19-May-16 11:14:51

Nobody has a right to watch someone get married. What a weird idea!

You might want to have a think about why he felt doing it alone is preferable to doing it with you there...

Congratulate him and send him a present.

Kwirrell Thu 19-May-16 11:15:12

Family obligation/duty is very subjective. Some, like your brother, believe that once you are an adult it is acceptable to cut ties with their birth family.

Others, probably like yourself, feel that family is important. There is no right or wrong, just personal choice.

If you are asking are you right to be furious, then my answer would be no. You should allow him to make his own decisions.

loopylooloo1 Thu 19-May-16 11:15:44

not fussed about the party,just the fact that hes gone and done it without telling us,he could have at least had my parents there

Pinkheart5915 Thu 19-May-16 11:15:49

Yes to this Nobody has a right to watch someone get married. What a weird idea!

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