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To consider reporting to immigration

(40 Posts)
SEmyarse Wed 06-Apr-16 08:00:38

I'm in a right quandry over this one. About 4 years ago I had a major problem with my work, and through being victimised for some thing that was completely not my fault I ended up with my hours being cut by half. I'm classed as self employed so couldn't do anything about it. The next day the new Bangladeshi guy at work, who I'd only chatted to a couple of times came to me and said I was to start work that evening delivering Indian takeaways. I was quite taken aback, but since I was desperate I gave it a go. It turned out to be great, and it really dug me out of a hole financially. I have since recovered some work from the original workplace but I carry on doing 2 nights a week at the indian.

This means that I have been working with my Bangladeshi friend in 2 environments, and we've got to know each other quite well. We get on well, but I am aware that he always seems to be in some kind of trouble (minor) and also I've pulled him up on some things he's said which seem inappropriate in our culture. He never appeared to respect women and seemed judgemental of overweight people. I pulled him up each time, but he just laughed it off, and I was always confused since I am both female and overweight.

Then I didn't see him for ages. He left the indian over some controversy, and he changed to a later shift at our other work. I heard on the grapevine he was really struggling, and mindful of when he'd helped me I sought him out to try to help. When I spoke to him he confided that his problems were rooted in his immigration status. This didn't surprise me, I'd always suspected things were a bit dodgy, but I'd never asked. He then proceed to start pissing me off by bringing up things from my (long distant) past, trying to compare the situation (which was in no way comparable). We've both had problems with authorities dragging their feet, so was trying to understand what it must be like to have the immigration over you for 12 years, and I mentioned my battle with housing and care packages for 5 years. He said that I should stop blaming men, men always get blamed and should take responsibility for my own problems. At no point did I ever try to blame men.

Then, the kicker. He said yeah that's like * (his fiancee in Bangladesh), she phoned me up crying, expecting me to have sympathy because she'd been raped. But what the hell did she expect? She went to his house, that's what will happen. Hereby followed a very heated convo as to our differing views on rape. I am furious!!! He is a rape apologist! And he was IN MY CAR when he said this. How dare he? He's implied it would be my fault if he had raped me in that situation.

I am furious enough to want to phone immigration and report him working which he's not supposed to be doing. but that's unreasonable when my anger is over something completely separate right?

incandescentalright Wed 06-Apr-16 08:07:57

I kind of doubt this happened. on the offchance it is real, yes, obviously using someone's immigration status to punish them for their objectionable views is wrong.

PPie10 Wed 06-Apr-16 08:09:15

Seriously? hmm

SEmyarse Wed 06-Apr-16 08:12:37

Whay would you doubt its real?

I'm aware I'm probably being unreasonable. I'm just beyond livid that I had someone in my car who would think it would be my fault if they decided to rape me!

ilovesooty Wed 06-Apr-16 08:14:48

I'm just about speechless.

KittenOfWoe Wed 06-Apr-16 08:17:26

His views are utterly wrong, yes. But you should report him as working because he's breaking the rules not because he's a dick. If anyone's breaking the law it should be noted.

acasualobserver Wed 06-Apr-16 08:19:59

What an extraordinary account. I don't think reporting him is the right thing to do though. Instead, tell him your association is now permanently and irreversibly over.

Cindy34 Wed 06-Apr-16 08:20:25

You don't share the same views. Not that unsurprising.

Why would you report him to immigration? Sounds like he is always well known to them if he has immigration trouble.

You tried to help him, you learnt things you did not know about him, now you feel you can't help him any more. Fine, go out out of your way to void him.

His view on rape is very bad, I would steer well clear of him from now on.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon Wed 06-Apr-16 08:23:48

Don't be ridiculous. Just stop associating with him. Do you even know what his immigration status is in enough detail to report him? What a petty idea.

Buzzardbird Wed 06-Apr-16 08:27:27

I think his attitudes and his legal status are two completely separate things. Would you not report a crime/misdemeanor if the guy was a 'nice chap'?

PPie10 Wed 06-Apr-16 08:29:56

You have different views, you think immigration cares about what you feel. And your post is absolutely horrible, if you can't even see how you came across I wonder if he is offended by you too!

Brokenbiscuit Wed 06-Apr-16 09:00:58

So what exactly is his immigration status?confused

If you believed he was doing something wrong, why didn't you report him earlier? I agree his views sound repulsive, but that's a separate issue.

MintyBojingles Wed 06-Apr-16 09:07:29

So is he working illegally? If so report him

Does he just have objections views? Cut the friendship.

Finola1step Wed 06-Apr-16 09:08:31

His views are repulsive. But they are separate to his immigration status.

If you do report him, do so because you believe that it is wrong that he is working whilst awaiting a decision. never mind how he is expected to feed and clothe himself

Don't report him because of his views. Distance yourself instead.

Kaddy Wed 06-Apr-16 09:56:10


OfaFrenchmind2 Wed 06-Apr-16 10:23:06

Well, maybe OP could think that a nice enough chap with values matching this country's could deserve some discretion regarding his work situation.
But this guy can be a danger to the female population, and support horrible backwards opinions that need to be stamped out without question, so fuck him.

ghostyslovesheep Wed 06-Apr-16 10:26:49

oh my goodness what a terrible terrible thing - why you just couldn't make it up could you <hits report button>

LIZS Wed 06-Apr-16 10:30:12

You knew he was working illegally but only think to report him now his views on rape became apparent confused. His employer should have taken proof of his right to work when he was offered the job.

BlindAssassin1 Wed 06-Apr-16 10:35:13

"He's implied it would be my fault if he had raped me in that situation."

So, not only is he justifying rape but saying that, even hypothetically, he would rape someone...and be ok with that. Massively fucked up.

I'm guessing that you can't just 'distance yourself' from someone you work with.

Protect yourself, report him.

VocationalGoat Wed 06-Apr-16 10:35:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ghostyslovesheep Wed 06-Apr-16 10:37:42

I'm not sure being a sexist rape apologist is cultural - plenty of no Bangladeshi men supporting the likes of Ched Evans - but I'd certainly not be friends with a man like that.

If he is working illegally you are perfectly entitled to report him - why have you waited so long

But I am wondering what his immigration status is ?

wasonthelist Wed 06-Apr-16 10:40:54

Presumably the "reporting" him is predicated on an expectation they might do something? I wouldn't hold your breath. The government and civil servants don't actually care about illegal immigration.

VocationalGoat Wed 06-Apr-16 10:45:15

I've reported my own post. It wasn't fair, tbh.

MrsDeVere Wed 06-Apr-16 11:12:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curren Wed 06-Apr-16 11:25:37

He is a complete dick.

But holding his immigration as a way to exact revenge is shitty thing to do.

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