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To go on this trip without DD?

(167 Posts)
Glitterspy Wed 02-Mar-16 11:03:10

Our family unit is me, DH, DD (just turned 3) and DS (12 weeks).

Here's our dilemma. My husband works in a consultancy/sales role for a big US tech firm. Having had a good year, he's being 'rewarded' with an all-expenses 5-day trip to a holiday location on the east cost of the US, with some other people from the company from around the world (we live in the UK). The trip is at the end of next month, dates non-negotiable.

The company don't allow children to go on these jollies, it's supposed to be adults only/bonding/relaxing sort of thing, but out of necessity do allow babies (it's a bit of a grey area), so the scenario we're presented with is either:

- DH, DS and I go on the trip, leaving DD at home with loving and familiar G'Parents (however at 3yo she's stayed with them solo only a handful of times, and we were back by the time she woke the next morning, or at worst later the following day)
- DH goes with a colleague from work, the rest of us stay home

I am totally torn. Cons: I feel horribly guilty about the prospect of going and leaving DD, and it's a long way should anything untoward happen to any of us. Pros: it would be a super trip, after 2 kids in 3 years DH and I really need some couple time (which we'd get as DS is a very easy baby), DD'd certainly live to tell the tale, and I kind of think I deserve a reward from DH's company too, after picking up the slack all year while he worked his arse off.

Vipers, please tell me what to do. Or flame me for being a selfish unfit mother who cares more about pina coladas than her own child

00100001 Wed 02-Mar-16 11:08:43

Stay at home with both kids. Let DH go (if he wants) and have the break. It won't be a fun proper family holiday anyway if it's with work and it's supped to be an adults only bonding thing.

Fourarmsv2 Wed 02-Mar-16 11:12:03

Go! DD will doubtless be spoiled rotten by GPs & you get a holiday. Win:win

DoBananasWearPajamas Wed 02-Mar-16 11:12:17

If you are confident that your DC will be looked after with love then I would go.

You will miss them, but I think you'll be fine

likeaboss Wed 02-Mar-16 11:13:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glueandstick Wed 02-Mar-16 11:14:53

I would go. Your kids will have their own holiday with grandparents

MrsCaecilius Wed 02-Mar-16 11:15:14

Absolutely go - you deserve it!

BertrandRussell Wed 02-Mar-16 11:15:28

Go. No question. Go!

MrsJayy Wed 02-Mar-16 11:15:39

Tempting as it is itis a work thing you might not get a nice time just with him there will be socialising with work they will be talking about work your husband will be expected to go to dinners or drinks to do the bonding and bond about work (trying to see how many times i can say work grin ) I wouldnt go and leave a 3yr old so far away tbh

MrsJayy Wed 02-Mar-16 11:18:26

Well I seem the grump of the thread I dont think you are being selfish to want to go i just think it will be dull with the baby in tow

PalePolkaDot Wed 02-Mar-16 11:20:30

I wouldn't want to go at all but you sound like you do so go! Dd is young enough that she won't understand that she's missing anything and if you're confident of the care she'll receive then there's no issues really. I wouldn't want to be so far away as a git reaction but wouldn't refuse to go for work so guess that's an irrational feeling.

My reasons for not going would be more because it sounds like a work socialising thing, not genuine couple/family time.

Yvemen Wed 02-Mar-16 11:20:57

Errrmmmmm GO!!!!

Glitterspy Wed 02-Mar-16 11:21:40

Ah yes MrsJayy but is dull at home with two kids worse than dull on a sun lounger?

lostinmiddlemarch Wed 02-Mar-16 11:23:21

I think you should try leaving your toddler for a weekend and see how she does first.

MrsJayy Wed 02-Mar-16 11:24:34

Fair enough bugger it just go will your Dd stay quite happy with her GP ?

I'd only hesitate for a second, but I'd definitely go.

ZiggyFartdust Wed 02-Mar-16 11:27:02

Why would it be dull with a baby? Dull to see a new place, stay in a lovely hotel, have some sunshine, go to restaurants and tourist places....if you think that sounds dull just because you have a small, portable, baby, you have no imagination at all!

I wouldn't hesitate for a second. Start packing!

MoreGilmoreGirls Wed 02-Mar-16 11:27:39

We recently went away for a few days leaving DS (2) for the very first time with his Nana overnight for two nights. I was very nervous. He had a fab time and did not even notice we had gone!!
I know yours is a bit further though we were abroad and a bit longer but I reckon all will be fine and you deserve it.
How keen are the gp to have her?

FanSpamTastic Wed 02-Mar-16 11:30:14

Go and relax. She will not remember it. Having taken all 3 Dcs to wonderful places at that age they now all deny any knowledge of visiting - even when I show them pictures!

Crazycatladynumber2 Wed 02-Mar-16 11:31:36

I would have already accepted and booked my DM to babysit grin

MrsJayy Wed 02-Mar-16 11:36:03

I just meant that because it was a work trip the op might be left out of some things thats all not going away with a baby is dull. Anyway I have jumped on thego side

snowgirl1 Wed 02-Mar-16 11:36:25

If the GPs are willing to look after your DD then I'd go.

BrightBagLady Wed 02-Mar-16 11:37:43


BitOutOfPractice Wed 02-Mar-16 11:38:04

Go! No brainer

wannabestressfree Wed 02-Mar-16 11:39:50

Go and ask the grandparents to stay at yours... do a dry run if need be.

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