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Is this MIL's finest hour?

(623 Posts)
namechangeorimfucked Thu 18-Jun-15 11:54:59

I've had to name change because my family members know my name on here and if they knew what she was doing all hell would break loose..

MIL is currently on her way to the hospital to visit a relative (her niece). Niece has just this morning welcomed her first baby after a very traumatic labour that has lasted days. A failed induction and many hours later, she has had an EMCS and both are apparently doing well. MIL knows about all this because her SIL has been giving her updates as she receives them from her DD and her partner. She has relayed said details to me and DH.

MIL gets on ok with her SIL but does not like her niece, she has been very judgmental all through her pg, both behind her back and to her face. As a result of this, niece and MIL fell out at a family gathering about 3 months ago.

MIL received a message from her SIL saying that the baby is here but they do not want visitors til visiting time tonight. Despite being told this, MIL is going to the hospital to see the baby... Her SIL is not even attempting to go yet and its her GC.

Niece lives in another county, MIL is on her way there now, NHS staff badge around her neck, to pop in and see the baby. She accused the niece and of being 'silly' and once she gets there she will be happy to have a visitor. She also said that she has to go now because she is busy later in the week and 'can't be expected to wait for them'

The Niece's DP is on facebook now letting everyone know things are ok. Do me and DH tell him she is coming?

We explained to her that she will not be let in if they don't want to see her and she said she 'knows her way around' and is 'practically staff'. She is expecting to see the baby before her own SIL...this is going to cause a shitstorm so big it will consume us all.

Ratbagcatbag Thu 18-Jun-15 11:56:46

I'd message the neice privately to warn her and possibly ring the hospital as well (explaining that she has an NHS badge and will use that to try and get in).

cathpip Thu 18-Jun-15 11:57:44

Message the niece, staff will stop her nhs badge or not

ImperialBlether Thu 18-Jun-15 11:58:55

I'd phone him to tell him! He needs to get security onto her and get her thrown out. If he could film it, all the better!

JinglyJanglyJungleBigGameTours Thu 18-Jun-15 11:59:04

Absolutely tell him. I'd be furious at her.

Tobiasfunke Thu 18-Jun-15 11:59:49

Yes message neice now.

CrystalHaze Thu 18-Jun-15 12:00:06

Warn the niece (possibly via her mother, as niece has probably not got the mental energy for this right now), and ask her to also tip the hospital off that MIL is not to be admitted.

Niece's memories of this day are going to be difficult enough, without this on top of it all.

GiddyOnZackHunt Thu 18-Jun-15 12:00:08

Yes ring the post natal ward and warn them then message the new parents to tell them what might happen. Then if they do for some reason want to let her in they can say so.

Hippymama1 Thu 18-Jun-15 12:00:08

She sounds awful.

I would probably warn the Niece's DP so he can tell the ward not to let her in if it was me... Apart from that, you have no influence or control over the situation so have to leave her to it - she is about to show herself for the horrible individual that she truly is.

StockingFullOfCoal Thu 18-Jun-15 12:00:19

I'd message nieces husband. She doesn't need to deal with this bullshit. I'd also tell MILS SIL. You must warn them.

MIL sounds completely fucking unhinged.

Mulligrubs Thu 18-Jun-15 12:00:53

I'd ring the ward tbh then I would leave it. Your MIL is a bitch

knowsaymuhfuh Thu 18-Jun-15 12:00:54

Tell him and the ward NOW. Don't even respond to us until you have done so.

Gottagetmoving Thu 18-Jun-15 12:01:44

Definitely tell him. They need to be pre-warned.
What a stupid thing to do, especially as she doesn't even like the girl!

BettyCatKitten Thu 18-Jun-15 12:01:51

Message the niece so staff can stop her. How unbelievably inconsiderate and talk about one upmanship with her sil. Your mil us a dick.

BettyCatKitten Thu 18-Jun-15 12:02:17

Is even, not us!

ShadowFire Thu 18-Jun-15 12:02:19

Yes, message the husband, he might be able to tell the ward staff that MIL isn't to be allowed in.

TurnipCake Thu 18-Jun-15 12:02:52

Warn the niece or her partner if you can, then let the ward know - usually it's only immediate family to visit on Day 0/Day 1 following a section.

Using an NHS badge as leverage in a Trust you don't work is highly unethical.

AlpacaMyBags Thu 18-Jun-15 12:03:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OnlyLovers Thu 18-Jun-15 12:04:34

Some are people just genuinely bat-shit, aren't they?

For the love of God warn her.

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 Thu 18-Jun-15 12:04:35

You must must must message the husband. Please do this.

Iwasbornin1993 Thu 18-Jun-15 12:04:44


Definitely tell them and/or the ward staff!

CrystalHaze Thu 18-Jun-15 12:04:45

"this is going to cause a shitstorm so big it will consume us all"

Not if the rest of the family all join forces in ignoring her outrageous behaviour and setting limits on how far she can go. This might be a great opportunity for the whole family to stamp on her narcissism and selfishness very very hard.

TaliZorahVasNormandy Thu 18-Jun-15 12:05:30

I'd let her partner know. They'll probably be grateful for the heads up.

DayLillie Thu 18-Jun-15 12:05:44

I'd ring the husband (or maybe SIL's OH?). DN does not need this and I suspect the SIL does not either - she must be worried about her daughter.

SunnyBaudelaire Thu 18-Jun-15 12:07:07

god she does sound like a piece of work - she wants to see a baby when she has fallen out with its mother? WTF is wrong with her?
Phone the ward and warn them inc. about the NHS badge.

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