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To be sick of DP's poo crumbs?

(526 Posts)
nomorecrumbs Wed 31-Jul-13 20:14:20

My DP is very hairy. He leaves poo crumbs and hair on the seat every day and I'm sick of wiping it. This is way worse than the seat-up-or-down debate. I finally snapped after a year and told him he must start using wet wipes to avoid the poo crumb issue. I feel like I'm looking after a 2 year old in this regard.

It's been particularly bad in bed this summer as he sleeps naked so the crumbs go EVERYWHERE.

He says I have no right to interfere in his toilet routine and I say I'm not sexing someone who can't keep their poo crumbs under control.

His family are full of boys and he says the poo crumbs thing is normal and that I'm overreacting. AIBU?

nomorecrumbs Wed 31-Jul-13 20:30:26

He has problems with piles which I think excerbates the problem. I said that the sensitive wet-wipes I bought will help and then he won't need to irritate the area as much. He disagrees. Aaargh!

elvisola Wed 31-Jul-13 20:30:56

Wait till he's asleep in his soup of poo crumbs, stick a couple of Immac wax strips between his butt cheeks and leave for as long as possible for maximum sticking effect. Then rip.

If he complains tell him it was to save your relationship. Eugghh!

deepfriedsage Wed 31-Jul-13 20:31:48

How can you sleep on a giant nappy each night? Boak. I would ltb and put down the sheets, bath and toilet seat behavior as examples of his unreasonable behavior, nobody would expect anyone to live under those conditions.

SuckAtRelationships Wed 31-Jul-13 20:33:53

er, I have a hairy arse (WHAT?! I can't be arsed (pun) waxing/shaving right now!) AND I have piles. I have no poo crumbs. If it's not easy to wipe with tissues alone then I use sensitive baby wipes.

He is making excuses for being revolting.

I honestly would leave over that. It's beyond foul.

orangeandemons Wed 31-Jul-13 20:34:42

I thought the correct name for these was winnets? <irrelevant>

HollyBerryBush Wed 31-Jul-13 20:36:07

cant he shit and shower?

maddening Wed 31-Jul-13 20:36:55

Don't do the waxing <imagines complications with the piles> <slightly sick in throat>

KirjavaTheCat Wed 31-Jul-13 20:37:05

The fuck?!


That is beyond revolting.

maddening Wed 31-Jul-13 20:37:32

Veet maybe?

maddening Wed 31-Jul-13 20:38:02

Oh and tell him to have a bath every night before bed

Nirvana79 Wed 31-Jul-13 20:38:21

I'd leave him, seriously. Tell him you'll come back once he's toilet trained. Dirty bastard.

Faithless12 Wed 31-Jul-13 20:39:40

YANBU, that is gross! I feel sick, make him sleep in a separate bed, wearing something.

Gargula Wed 31-Jul-13 20:40:46

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

fluffyraggies Wed 31-Jul-13 20:40:52



fluffyraggies Wed 31-Jul-13 20:41:29

It's 'Clag-nuts', surely?

RhondaJean Wed 31-Jul-13 20:41:40


I've just tried to imagine my DHs face if he did this once, and failed. He would be mortified. What fully functioning adult can't manage to wipe their own arse properly???

NomNomDePlum Wed 31-Jul-13 20:42:02

no-one who thinks it's okay to leave chunks of shit all over the place deserves to be sharing a living space. how can you even look at him? dear god.

ViviPru Wed 31-Jul-13 20:42:41


SnoopySnoopyDoggDogg Wed 31-Jul-13 20:43:05

dongleberries ??!!?! grin grin grin grin

Poo troll or not this is hilarious grin

MamaLazarou Wed 31-Jul-13 20:44:48

I have been married to a hairy-bummed man for ten years and had never heard of poo crumbs until just now. LTB! Wiping your arse properly really is one of the basic requisites of happy marriage.

Messandmayhem Wed 31-Jul-13 20:46:03

I...... What...... Why doesn't....

Fuck. I have nothing.


Flossiechops Wed 31-Jul-13 20:46:13

Love it!! Poo crumbs - I've heard it all now grin

littlemisswise Wed 31-Jul-13 20:46:31

Buy him one of these OP!

starfishmummy Wed 31-Jul-13 20:47:08

I can't help but wonder if the poo crumbs are cube shaped........

Fairylea Wed 31-Jul-13 20:47:51

Isn't it chug nuts?? Blueerhhgghhh.

<feels incredibly sick>

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