or is it a bit cheeky to ask people who are only invited to your evening do to contribute towards your honeymoon?

[Smellyanne]

and if IABU how much is acceptable to give?

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

ooh, are we going to the same evening do?

[slavetofilofax]

It's cheeky to ask anyone to contibute to your honeymoon, whether you invite them all day or all week. People should fund their own honeymoons, and asking for contibutions towards a holiday that your guests may not be able to afford for themselves is particularly vulgar.

I would give a photo frame, or a tenner, max.

[TrillianAstra]

Are they actually asking? Or is it a case of "if you would like to give us a gift we'd prefer you did this..."?

[Shanghaidiva]

FFS - they should pay for their own bloody honeymoon!

[BodyUnknown]

I'm going to a wedding soon and the couple have stated 'your presence is gift enough, but if you would like to give us something, we would really appreciate a donation towards our honeymoon'. Donation is anonymous so no oneupmanship/embarassment. I don't see a problem with it, whether you're invited to the ceremony or the reception/evening do only. I don't think couples are so interested in John Lewis candlesticks anymore.

[fanjobanjowanjo]

I don't think it's unreasonable, just give what you can. Nowt wrong with a tenner in a card!

[WiiUnfit]

I don't think it is cheeky to have a 'your gift is your presence but if you do want to give us a gift then...' as a lot of people will want to give them something & if they are already co-habiting then crockery or cutlery just isn't useful really!

But to outright ask for money towards it is yes.

[WiiUnfit]

Oh & Smelly, I would give friends a gift even if I was 'only invited to your evening do'. You have still been invited to a party they or their families have paid for, I expect they'll be a buffet or similar?

[Smellyanne]

My friend told me verbally that they were asking for money towards the honeymoon...

[SimoneD]

We went to a wedding recently where we were asked to contribue to the honeymoon fund. I dont see any problem with this at all, surely most people give money for a wedding gift nowadays? I dont see any point in giving them a gift that they dont want or need instead. I usually give £20 for evening reception invite.

[harassedandherbug]

If they can't afford a honeymoon, then they don't have one!

I hate giving money as a wedding gift, but have done so. Normally £20.

[ENormaSnob]

Was the request in with the invitation?

Was it a poem?

[HappyMummyOfOne]

Its cheeky and graspin full stop. If they want a honeymoon then they should pay for it not the guests, i'd have declined the invite based on the request alone.

[Badtasteflump]

This kind of thing really winds me up!

I think an invitation should be just that - an invitation - not a request for money or a gift. I just think it's crass and completely unnecessary. If somebody wants to give the couple getting married a gift, they will do so, whether prompted to or not. Asking for something is just rude IMO.

And yes, when I got married I didn't ask for anything. And we paid for our own honeymoon!

[Badtasteflump]

Ooh we had one like that Enora - can't remember the poem exactly but it was very icky.

I ignored it and gave them a bottle of champagne.

[HappyMummyOfOne]

grasping even will teach me to read before I post.

[mnistooaddictive]

It depends on the situation. I had done friends do this, but they wanted a few nights in a b and b somewhere. They had no money and hadn't had a holiday ever. I didn't mind thus. They would probably have been better spending the money on something else bug that was there choice. Contributing towards someone's 3 week safari in Africa is not on and I wouldn't do it.

[Stoirin]

oh god, not another "how dare people expect to get a present for an event everyone knows you give presents for" thread? Isn't british angst Wedding Season over for the year?

[piprabbit]

buggerlugs82 - it sounds like you have lovely friends, especially if they kept a straight face while thanking you for the Yankee Candle.

I think it's odd asking for money towards a honeymoon, but as a guest I am happy to buy the couple anything they want so long as I can stick to my budget and it is not illegal or morally repugnant. If you were going to spend £20 on them anyway, then just donate £20 to the honeymoon fund. Why would it matter to you if the money were spent on a cake slice or a couple of hours on a beach?

[squeakytoy]

we were invited to an evening reception recently that requested the same thing.. it cost a small fortune for us to get there, the drinks at the bar were extorniate prices (£8 for a bacardi) and £5 for a pint of lager... and no buffet food...

we gave them a card.. with no money in it!

We got married because we wanted to be married to each other, not for the gifts..

[Badtasteflump]

I agree actually , mnistoo - the last one we has asking for money towards the honeymoon was for 3 weeks in Bali - they included a little print out of the 'luxury resort' they were staying in

We were also invited to a wedding last year where they enclosed a link to their wedding list - the cheapest item on it was £50

[TheFlyingOnion]

cheeky.

You want a holiday, you pay for it....

[Smellyanne]

How rude Stoirin ,no-one forced you to open the thread...

[Badtasteflump]

Here here squeaky. I think if more people got married purely because they wanted to be married, not because they were going all giddy over wedding lists, enormous pavlovas and showing off for the day, there'd be a lot less divorces. So there.