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Tell me about the worst boyfriend you ever had and why?

(127 Posts)
whatsnewpussycat777 Thu 11-Feb-21 19:12:46

Mine was a year younger in high school a--nd kissed like a --fcking hoover.

I got slagged for that for like forever.

grin

OP’s posts: |
Letsallscreamatthesistene Thu 11-Feb-21 19:17:10

When we were sat on the sofa once he poked my thigh and went 'ooops, cellulite. Need to do something about that'.

It didnt last long after that.

Fuckadoodledoooo Thu 11-Feb-21 19:20:30

On my 18th birthday (he was 27 - fucking loser), he told me he wanted an open relationship.

I was a bit shocked and said no and he told me he'd already slept with someone the previous night - which was Valentine's Day.

Horrible prick. I then stayed with him for another two months until he dumped me.

PopcornAndWine Thu 11-Feb-21 19:22:59

When I was 18 and about to go to university, he said to me "I wouldn't bother trying to make friends, you act like you're autistic and just piss people off".

Part of a long pattern of controlling and manipulative behaviour which I won't go into. But that little gem gives you an idea of what a charmer he was.

Divebar2021 Thu 11-Feb-21 19:26:27

I had a boyfriend who once stopped in the middle of sex, got dressed and left without saying a word. It was apparently to demonstrate to me that he could do that to me. It was one of the many emotionally abusive things he did over the 2 years we were together ( yes! 2 years!!!! 🙄)

PopcornAndWine Thu 11-Feb-21 19:28:54

Oh and my second worst was a work-shy slob who sponged money off me, was a World of Warcraft addict and turned out to be secretly gay.

Fortunately my standards have improved a hell of a lot since those days grin

livefornaps Thu 11-Feb-21 19:29:40

His cock was tiny like a chipolata and so he only liked to do it from behind, with me bent over a countertop and all I would hear was a sweaty and flaccid slap-slap-slap "UUUH, UUH-UUHHH!!!" and it would all be over in the same space of time that it took you to read that. Then he would whisper in my ear (he could barely reach my ear) "love to bum ya, baby". I should point out, we never did anal, he just liked to delude himself that he did. He would immediately flop out, it was always all too much for him, excitement-wise, so he would then pass out like anaemic fetus on the floor. I would have to prod him with my foot in order to revive him to get him to leave my fucking house - every time.

whatsnewpussycat777 Thu 11-Feb-21 19:31:46

Oh my word - we have picked some fine gents losers haven't we 😱

OP’s posts: |
LadyCounterblast Thu 11-Feb-21 19:32:21

livefornaps

His cock was tiny like a chipolata and so he only liked to do it from behind, with me bent over a countertop and all I would hear was a sweaty and flaccid slap-slap-slap "UUUH, UUH-UUHHH!!!" and it would all be over in the same space of time that it took you to read that. Then he would whisper in my ear (he could barely reach my ear) "love to bum ya, baby". I should point out, we never did anal, he just liked to delude himself that he did. He would immediately flop out, it was always all too much for him, excitement-wise, so he would then pass out like anaemic fetus on the floor. I would have to prod him with my foot in order to revive him to get him to leave my fucking house - every time.

Have you ever considered writing erotic literature grin

Mangofandangoo Thu 11-Feb-21 19:33:41

livefornaps

His cock was tiny like a chipolata and so he only liked to do it from behind, with me bent over a countertop and all I would hear was a sweaty and flaccid slap-slap-slap "UUUH, UUH-UUHHH!!!" and it would all be over in the same space of time that it took you to read that. Then he would whisper in my ear (he could barely reach my ear) "love to bum ya, baby". I should point out, we never did anal, he just liked to delude himself that he did. He would immediately flop out, it was always all too much for him, excitement-wise, so he would then pass out like anaemic fetus on the floor. I would have to prod him with my foot in order to revive him to get him to leave my fucking house - every time.


This made me squeal 😆

whatsnewpussycat777 Thu 11-Feb-21 19:34:21

Lol to tiny sausage 😂

OP’s posts: |
MrsWhistledown Thu 11-Feb-21 19:36:38

livefornaps

His cock was tiny like a chipolata and so he only liked to do it from behind, with me bent over a countertop and all I would hear was a sweaty and flaccid slap-slap-slap "UUUH, UUH-UUHHH!!!" and it would all be over in the same space of time that it took you to read that. Then he would whisper in my ear (he could barely reach my ear) "love to bum ya, baby". I should point out, we never did anal, he just liked to delude himself that he did. He would immediately flop out, it was always all too much for him, excitement-wise, so he would then pass out like anaemic fetus on the floor. I would have to prod him with my foot in order to revive him to get him to leave my fucking house - every time.

HAHAHA

Brilliant. How on earth did you bring yourself to sleep with him more than once? grin

Aquamarine1029 Thu 11-Feb-21 19:37:17

Not a "boyfriend", just a guy I went on 3 dates with when I was 18... He said I'll pick you up Friday at 8, and I said sorry, I have plans with my friends. His face turned to thunder and he said, "That shit won't be happening anymore now that you're with me."

Needless to say, I immediately told him to fuck off. I'm glad his mask slipped as soon as it did.

greybluegreen Thu 11-Feb-21 19:37:29

I was seeing someone when I was 13 who was later taken to court by his step sister for sexual assault.

Another one was just an really, really nasty piece of work. Completely destroyed my self esteem, I still have flashbacks, twenty years later.

Another was banging prostitutes and gave me several STIs.

Take your pick.

Plonque Thu 11-Feb-21 19:37:54

* Have you ever considered writing erotic literature*

Fucking hell! Laughed so hard.

HollowTalk Thu 11-Feb-21 19:38:53

I went out once with someone who stole the tip I left for the waiter.

Fuckadoodledoooo Thu 11-Feb-21 19:39:25

livefornaps

His cock was tiny like a chipolata and so he only liked to do it from behind, with me bent over a countertop and all I would hear was a sweaty and flaccid slap-slap-slap "UUUH, UUH-UUHHH!!!" and it would all be over in the same space of time that it took you to read that. Then he would whisper in my ear (he could barely reach my ear) "love to bum ya, baby". I should point out, we never did anal, he just liked to delude himself that he did. He would immediately flop out, it was always all too much for him, excitement-wise, so he would then pass out like anaemic fetus on the floor. I would have to prod him with my foot in order to revive him to get him to leave my fucking house - every time.

Omg 😂

Canitbemagic Thu 11-Feb-21 19:40:58

I once had a boyfriend (university) who came in his pants every single time we kissed 😂😱. He was a devout Christian or his parents were - sex was out of the question. Go for a nice drink and one quick snog and he’d start to go ‘oh oh oh oh’ while kissing and then jerk and wet patch and then run back to his hall of residence. Happened morning noon and night. One I met him after a lecture and walking back I stroked his hand and he came in his pants. It actually makes me quite ill thinking about it now. His parents insisted I be dumped as I wasn’t Christian enough and they thought I was tempting him - I’m not surprised looking back as his mum was washing 10 pairs of boxers and trousers covered in Deneb each weekend. That’s grim thinking about it.

Canitbemagic Thu 11-Feb-21 19:41:46

Semen not Deneb !!

whatsnewpussycat777 Thu 11-Feb-21 19:42:19

Deneb 😃😂

OP’s posts: |
Apileofballyhoo Thu 11-Feb-21 19:47:05

Have you ever considered writing erotic literature

Have you ever considered doing stand-up?

PatchworkElmer Thu 11-Feb-21 19:47:28

The one who gaslit and used me, then cheated on me with men and dumped me unceremoniously with no explanation, letting me think it was my issue.

sausagepastapot Thu 11-Feb-21 19:48:17

Wow some of these are horrific.

Mine was my first boyfriend who I regrettably lost my virginity to- he was a workshy cheater, who couldn't actually get it up properly, and ejaculated prematurely. I didn't know what the fuck was going on of course.

He had the foulest habits too- for example, when out walking he used to hold down one nostril and shoot snot out of the other. Fucking grim. I was so young, I really didn't think much of it at the time.

He and his now partner are jobless and living in the shittest part of town. Thank absolute fuck to have got away.

bitheby Thu 11-Feb-21 19:52:00

Probably the one who was obsessed with wearing my underwear and being humiliated. Didn't last long. Fuck off Daily Mail.

torquewench Thu 11-Feb-21 19:59:44

The one who'd sit next to me and message other women on POF, who never cleaned his teeth. envy (not envy)

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