Do you have problems? I can solve everything.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I can help with anything, please step inside my lovely advice clinic where my team of kindly Agony Aunts will cure you forever.

[CarolinePooter]

Thigh ! (sobs with joy!)

[Gettingnowhere]

I have a problem. My BFF said she missed me. So I asked her to prove it by writing me a poem. She hasn't written one. Is she really even my friend?

[catisbeingsick]

I like sitting on the beach and drinking wine but it's cold

[iklboo]

I've only got enough tonic for one gin. I suppose I could pour a half pint of gin & top up though.

[TheRealHousewifeofCheshire]

Eh

[Gettingnowhere]

Hi Iklboo. Nice to see you. Now, do you actually have a problem for us to solve? I assume you have enough gin for more than one gin?

[DanglyTassles]

I am in love with a sexy fruit 🍍

But it's turned out to be me old mucker Getting all along!

[ProjectGainsborough]

catis alcohol keeps you warm. Take your wine to the beach and start drinking. At some point you may feel warm enough to take all of your clothes off. If you do, please report back on how it went.

[Gettingnowhere]

Cat the more wine you drink, the less cold both the beach and your wine will appear

[Gettingnowhere]

Snap Project but yours was better

[DanglyTassles]

Iklboo a pint of wodka/Winka is your friend!

[Gettingnowhere]

Hi Realhousewife. Do you have a problem we can solve?

[Gettingnowhere]

How many times do I have to explain it Dangly? I AM NOT A PINEAPPLE!

[catisbeingsick]

Thank you, I am so happy now and am packing my basket of wine and crisps for the beach

[Lacypants]

Hello, I fancy a bloke I met through a friend. He has a very nice beard. What should I do about my crush?

[DanglyTassles]

Lacy you should shag him at the first opportunity! If he doesn't want to, simply grow a beard and then shag yourself!

[MaudAndOtherPoems]

I live in a state of cognitive dissonance because in my head I'm young and gorgeous and yet a frazzled middle-aged woman looks back at me from the mirror. Can you please advise?

[HappybutsometimesGrouchy]

I'm just back from out to lunch. I'm hungry again. Dh is ordering a takeaway and asking if I want anything. My mind is hissing at me to stop being a fattie boom boom. My stomach is begging me for Salted Chilli chicken with chips...

[Gettingnowhere]

Maud are you Thigh's twin sister?

[Gettingnowhere]

Happy you can join the rest of us Fattie Boom Booms in Thighland. You've just reminded me that I've forgotten to list our rules

Rule 1. Lie down
Rule 2. No guests
Rule 3. Nobody is too fat or too thin (get the chilli chicken deep fried)
Rule 4. Nobody gets told off

[iklboo]

@Gettingnowhere - hello, nice to see you too. Yes, I can see now there is no actual problem on the gin front. You've been most reassuring! Thank you.

[Jackshouse]

I need to tidy up my house but can’t be bothered to get off the sofa.

[iklboo]

Got one!

I wanted to go and get comfy upstairs (with the gin) but DH wants to get his snake out. It needs supervision while he defrosts a mouse and in the only one here.

[iklboo]

I'm the only one here

[Gettingnowhere]

Jacks we haven't tidied in 8 or 9 threads now. Grab your slanket and Monster Munch and join in the fun