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Ahem. It's the 25th September, which means....

(643 Posts)
FellatioNelson Tue 24-Sep-13 06:17:15

That I hereby declare the Fellatio's Poncetastic Christmas Thread Part 4 open for business.

For those of you who do not know WTF I am on about, read this from 2010 by way of explanation:

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you.

If you want to read the previous three threads for Christmas 2010, 2011 and 2012 search my name in the Christmas topic.

In the words of the great Mike Reid from Runaround, G-G-G-G-G- GO!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Tue 24-Sep-13 06:19:24

It is the 24th of september.

and stop talking about christmas.

We should sit quietly and ignore it till it goes away


Suddengeekgirl Tue 24-Sep-13 06:20:21

It's not the 25th yet confused

But I am ready, willing and hopefully able to ponce! grin

chanie44 Tue 24-Sep-13 06:20:37

Yay. I really want to join in this year as I had a new born last year.

I'm currently knitting some mini Xmas stockings and crochet candycanes in preparation for Xmas.

FellatioNelson Tue 24-Sep-13 06:22:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FellatioNelson Tue 24-Sep-13 06:24:32

Oh fuck. Is it? Are you sure? grin

Never mind. There was always some confusion over whether I started on the 24th or the 25th anyway, (even I am not sure confused) so let's just put that minor error behind us, and move forward with the job in hand.

Chop chop. We have a busy schedule ahead of us. No room for slackers.

rootypig Tue 24-Sep-13 06:28:41

It is still 23rd September where I am grin

But it is never too early to ponce!!!!

rootypig Tue 24-Sep-13 06:30:46

Cannot believe you're not making your own marzipan FN shock

Maybe you could use the extra day you suddenly find on your hands to rectify grin grin

IsaacCox Tue 24-Sep-13 06:32:41

YES! I've been looking forward to this blush

I'm doing my cakes this week, trying out a couple of card designs and have ordered a few Christmas craft/food books.

3birthdaybunnies Tue 24-Sep-13 06:33:07

Oh got really excited then because I though it was temporarily out of overdraft day pay day. Back to baked beans menu tonight. Have already done some Christmas craft though have angels left over from dd1 first Communion

JustBecauseICan Tue 24-Sep-13 06:33:44


Bah, Christmas Eve is sometimes nicer than Christmas Day anyway. All that anticipation.

AgathaHannigan Tue 24-Sep-13 06:39:12

Yay! Thanks fn, I got a little frisson of excitement as soon as I realised this was it... I can almost smell the tree already.

fuzzpig Tue 24-Sep-13 06:42:10

I got a bit freaked out then, that I'd missed a whole day (either that or I made a lot of mistakes at work yesterday shock)

I am merely marking my place, since I am far too slatternly to have any useful tips myself, but am hoping to gain wisdom from you lot grin

FellatioNelson Tue 24-Sep-13 06:42:39

I did seriously consider it rooty and I stood there in front of the marzipan shelf in the supermarket debating with myself. grin I decided to buy some anyway, and then it's there if I get lazy/run out of time, or whatever. If not, I'll just use it for something else. Maybe some homemade sweets/chocolates. I bought some chocolate moulds from Lakeland a few months ago and I haven't used them yet. I need to think of some nice varieties of fillings to go in them. Or I might just lock myself in the bathroom and eat the entire block of marzipan. it has been known.

MisselthwaiteManor Tue 24-Sep-13 06:45:01

I so desperately want a poncetastic Christmas but I don't know what I'm doing so I will lurk here and copy you all. Last year we had sad flaccid tinsel and macaroni cheese blush but I was pregnant and couldn't be arsed. I am going to up my game tremendously this year. I have allocated a Christmas drawer and have been hoarding ribbons and wrapping materials. I think the cake will be my project for this weekend.

rootypig Tue 24-Sep-13 06:50:20

I eat marzipan from the pack too! god I fucking love the stuff. Actually bought marzipan is well nice, Silver Spoon surprisingly quaffable and Waitrose with brandy vair good. I am a veritable marzipan connoisseur!

Accccctually since we are here talking about marzipan and all, it is well good on mince pies instead of a pastry lid, star or christmas tree cutter.

Chanie I am youtubing how to crochet candycanes actually how to crochet, not a fucking clue. I want some!

BellaOfTheBalls Tue 24-Sep-13 06:51:21

I've already made chutney and jam as gifts. Marmalade, sloe gin, chocolates, Christmas cake and cookies still to come. I've ordered some Christmas cards and bought some decorate your own Christmas table decorations to keep the DCs quiet

This we're having Christmas at the in-laws. There isn't enough wine in the world.

CbeebiesIsMyLife Tue 24-Sep-13 06:52:37

I want a poncetastic christmas, I really really do. But undoubtedly when push comes to shove, aunt bessie will be my go to girl and who doesnt love some bisto gravy!

Teach me how to be poncetastic I could do with some distraction and some inspiration for my blog!

KvassInTheNight Tue 24-Sep-13 07:00:04

Thanks fellatio, was getting worried! I am a veteran poncerasticer and determined that this year I will actually do something with the million pine cones DS collected. Probably garlands. And planning to do rib of beef after last years turkey off work for next 6 weeks so plenty of time for plotting poncery, can anyone recommend a good book I can study?

50shadesofknackered Tue 24-Sep-13 07:00:38

I want to join in too. I'm making Christmas cakes next week and planning decorations. I want a poncetastic Christmas !!

IsaacCox Tue 24-Sep-13 07:02:05

Oh yes, I also ordered a massive haul from Lakeland for Christmas baking on Saturday and another thread is making me want to order the Cath kidston Christmas organiser.

I'm really, really a bit excited now!

bymoonlight Tue 24-Sep-13 07:02:45

I have made Chutney. Today (or tomorrow) I am making pickled onions and this for boxing day.

I normally make my own cake and pudding but I am 23wks prg so not sure where that leaves me with the alcohol. Can I eat them if made with alcohol? Can I feed the cake with alcohol? I don't really want to buy from the shop, I enjoy the tradition of making them with the dc but I work by the rule that if I can't eat it, I'm not making it! <<selfish emotion>>

MisselthwaiteManor Tue 24-Sep-13 07:03:44

The point of covering a cake in marzipan is to eat the spare, and buying lots of packets to ensure there is plenty of spare.

I'd love to try making my own marzipan, anyone have a recipe?

bymoonlight Tue 24-Sep-13 07:04:55

Ooh Issac, what did you order from Lakeland?

BellaOfTheBalls Tue 24-Sep-13 07:04:56

The easiest way to begin your poncetastic Christmas journey is marmalade. Buy a big tin of Ma Made from the supermarket and follow the instructions on the tin label the jars with poncey pretty labels and tie a pointless ribbon round the top. Give to neighbours or friends as a simple homemade Christmas gift.

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