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Original poster

Do you ever regret your career or non-career?

140 replies

PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 21:24

I never really followed any direction. I had ended up where i am in my career by sort of default. Well not the position, that was hard work, but the profession. It is close to what i want to do. But, i only realised what I wanted to do by doing this job.

And now, i think it is too late .

Anyone else feel like this? Does anyone wish they could turn the clock back to being 17/18/19 and make different educational decisions?

Has anyone taken a major leap of faith in themselves at the expense of other things, career wise and changed direction? retrained in a profession? How was it?

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 17/02/2010 21:30

i never did anything.
by the time i left college i was sick of formal education. I didn't know what I wanted to do, so going to uni seemed like a massive waste of time and money

so i went and got a shit job, earned money, travelled a fair bit.
decided i wanted to be a midwife, got accepted at uni....

then fell pg with ds1!

2 children on I am still in the same position i was at 18.
I don't have any career. nothing. I do have a plan now , which is breastfeeding counsellor, doula, and then maybe midwife.

I kind of wish i had stayed in education when i was younger, but then i have friends who did that and now think they're getting too old to fully appreciate the children, so it's hard getting it "right" i think

Tortington · 17/02/2010 21:35

i let school with an art gcse and nowt else - i spent the next 10 years getting qualifications until i had a degree.

fell into this line of work as there was a PT job at local Housing association which fitted in well with uni hours - before that i was doing factory jobs when i could just to get money.

so i stuck with it - the money is ok and its better than hard manual work.

i think i would like to re-train as a social worker - but they changed it a few years ago so its now a degree you have to do rather than a diploma

i looked into it and with my degree they would let me off the first year - but years two and three are heavy on the work experience ( working long hours for no pay and calling it training)

and i just can't have NO income coming in whilst i train - its not something i can do at night class or anything becuase you need thr training hours to qualify - so am stuck

if i was to re-wind the clock, i think i would have gotten out of my current workplace a lot faster - been here many many years - hate it - not getting anywhere - no promotions in sight and i really need to move up a level now as i am knocking on a bit

Tortington · 17/02/2010 21:36

there is a bursery, but its not near enough

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 21:37

i had no idea what i wanted to do when i was younger. I went to uni and studied a pointless degree, which led me eventually to a good job along with me doing volunteer work in things i was interested.

all along i have been doing things that should have indicated to me where i wanted to be, but i never saw it, just bimbled along in my own little childish world not paying the least bit of attention. And now i feel ready to make my decisions and I feel like i am now not able to, and when i can, it will be passed.

You sound like you have a good plan though thisisyesterday, do you wish it was different, or do you accept this is how life goes?

I wish I had the insight to be braver, or the guidance to tell me, or the background to know i could push myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 21:39

custardo what do you do now? and do you want to be say, a lawyer?

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Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 21:40

good i mean good for devon. In london for example., it would be poo!

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thisisyesterday · 17/02/2010 21:44

i do wish that I had done something else while i was younger. I wish i had a degree in something

as it stands, if i split up with do for example, there is no way i'd be able to support my children because I have no career. I mean, obv i'd be able to get yet another shit job in a shop, but it'd be nice to have something worthwhile to fall back on.

but i do think that it's very easy to wish you had done things differently whatever course you take
I do appreciate having those fab late teens/easrly 20's to just piss about and travel

Eddas · 17/02/2010 21:50

I do, my career is a good one, but not top of my list when thinking about my dream job. I fell into it as I got my job through my Dad. I had no idea what I wanted to do after I had finished my A-levels, I didn't want to go to uni, I was very shy and would've struggled(i'd be ok now though 13 years later)

Trouble is once you reach a certain pay level(even as low as mine) it's very hard to change direction if you can't afford a salary drop, which I can't

I am thankful that even though it's not my dream job I don't mind doing it.

ATM dh hates his job and it's very sad watching him trundle off to work for his long day knowing he doesn't want to be there Although for dh I suspect if he changed where he worked rather than the actual job he would be better off. Shame the recessions hit his trade hard so there are precious few jobs around. He tries to remain postive by knowing that he is lucky to have a job atm but it's still very hard

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 21:53

thisisyesterday i did not travel even. i had a chance, and I was with a boyfriend and i did not want to leave. At the time of course i pretended it was other things, i have spent my life bottling out of things because i have been afraid, i could have been great at several things, but the fear stopped me. And now...i know how to deal with fear, i can embrace it and make adrenaline work for me. But i now feel...i don't want to be here when the kids are older. I want to be somewhere different, i want to show them anything is possible. I want them to see you can change the way your life unfolds, and its ok to have ambition. But now i am not sure when i can do that.

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Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 21:58

eddas my Dh felt just like yours. So he changed tack and tried something he was actually interested in. 10 months later he was made redundant and he has been unemployed since. He did not like his old job so is so upset at the prospect of returning to that way (inevitable unfortunately, whenever it happens), and he at the moment cannot even get back.

I should be so so lucky i have my job. I have a good job, i have good salary, good flexible working, good annual leave, pension. I have made a nuisance of myself so not likely to be made redundant anytime soon without it looking bad for the company. But, as a teacher at school used to say 'could do better'. I had an experience today which gave me a taster of what i could be, where i should be, i felt so good it was unreal. I have never felt so comfortable in a situation. I can't ever really get there for sure.

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Tortington · 17/02/2010 21:59

i work for a housing association. i would like to work in social work with older people - i like old people.

Eddas · 17/02/2010 22:02

pavlov, why can't you get there, is it exams stipping you or you stopping you IYSWIM?

My problem is that I haven't a clue what I'd like to do, lots of things go in and out of my head as possibles but none have stuck. It's been like this since I started my career 13 years ago My parents said, when I still lived at home, that they'd support me giving up the job as long as I had a plan, but I couldn't work one out so I stuck with it.

How do you go about finding out what you'd like to do?!!

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:03

custardo you bloody well told me. I am sorry i did not read it right. I thought you meant you would do social work but wanted to do something else. Sorry.

Once upon a time, it was relatively easy to get a social work qualification. I dont mean easy as in walk in pick it up, i mean less hoops. My profession is a social work profession. Once apon a time it was a generic qualification and you could swap in between, now it is split. I like it. But it disempowers me.

I suspect your world is my world in terms of work areas. You probably work with me, so to speak.

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MarionCole · 17/02/2010 22:05

I drifted into my career after degree because jobs were pretty hard to come by at the time and I was glad to get something. I've worked hard at it and am now in a good position, but it's really not what I want to do.

I'm seriously considering retraining. Kindly MNers pointed out to me a month or so ago that, at 38, I've still got nearly 30 working years left and it would be a tragedy to be dissatisfied for that long!

I have no strong ideas about what I would rather do. I have decided that this is the year of decision-making and by the end of the year I need to know what I'm going to do.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:05

eddas it is money, mostly that will stop me, and dedication, not being able to give 110% every day, as i have children now, who will always come first. I cannot compromise in the way i could when i was say 25.

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Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:07

marion good for you! Same as me, degree = bugger all so i took what i could too, after temping. Happy enough, but i could do so much more. I hope you get to do something you are happy with. You are right, 30 years is a bloody long time!

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MarionCole · 17/02/2010 22:08

Childcare is the real problem. Because of the position I am in now I have been able to negotiate very flexible working hours. It's hard to find a career where you can start at the bottom with decent flexibility. I might have to work for myself.

DecorHate · 17/02/2010 22:10

Pavlov, I'm intrigued to know what the thing is you'd love to do but feel it's too late? Can you give us a teeny hint?

I really wish I had had better advice at school about what options were open to me but tbh the type of courses which I now wish I had done after school I probably couldn't have afforded to pursue at the time as I would have had to move further away from home and living costs would have been higher.

I felt about halfway through my degree course that it wasn't really for me but stuck with it as I couldn't afford to start from scratch...

I took a job that was supposed to be for a few months and stayed for 12 years...

I'm now in my mid-forties and starting to feel that career-wise I want to finally do something that I love (but don't know what that is!) and fear it us too late

Eddas · 17/02/2010 22:10

marioncole, I think I should take that approach too. I'm 31 so have a long working life ahead. I have 2 dc and am not planning anymore, the youngest will be 3 in April so if I can decide a career, work out how to get there, it might tie in with him starting school in Sept 2011. I ought to really hadn't I?

Pavlov, money, wouldn't it be so much easier without money How old are your dc? would you be able to give more dedication once they are older?

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:12

Decor i want to be a lawyer.

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Eddas · 17/02/2010 22:13

marioncole, childcare is an issue for me too, so that halts things somewhat until ds is at school, although that then brings different issues, but at least both dc will be in the same place!! I am also lucky that my career is flexible(accountancy) so basically my boss has agreed any changes I ask for. He has been very very good to me.

MarionCole · 17/02/2010 22:13

The way I look at it is that, with my current career, I got to a fairly senior level within about 10-12 years. If I were to start again now in a different career, on the same path I would be hitting a senior level at about 50, well before retirement. There is still time to start another career and become good at it.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:14

eddas i really don't think i could retrain when i am older. Now, they would be fine with it, but i cannot give the hours, or the money i need to fund it. In 10 years, i really do not want to live with regrets. I want to do it. I really want to. I can do it. I cannot do it.

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Petsville · 17/02/2010 22:15

I'm watching this thread with interest - I'm not exactly in the position of regretting my career so far, but I'm probably about to be made redundant and I'm seriously contemplating retraining, because the job I'm in is by far the most interesting thing I could do with my current degree and professional qualifications and it's so specialist that there's only one possible employer - the one who's about to make me redundant. The major complication is that I'm 15 weeks pregnant so it may just be a question of being grateful for anything I can get. But I think I could just about afford to retrain with the redundancy money, so I'm investigating at the mo.

MarionCole · 17/02/2010 22:15

Hey I'm an accountant too.

Everyone I trained with drifted into it. Everyone else has managed to diversify into something far more satisfying, I'm still here!