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Original poster

Do you ever regret your career or non-career?

140 replies

PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 21:24

I never really followed any direction. I had ended up where i am in my career by sort of default. Well not the position, that was hard work, but the profession. It is close to what i want to do. But, i only realised what I wanted to do by doing this job.

And now, i think it is too late .

Anyone else feel like this? Does anyone wish they could turn the clock back to being 17/18/19 and make different educational decisions?

Has anyone taken a major leap of faith in themselves at the expense of other things, career wise and changed direction? retrained in a profession? How was it?

OP posts:
Eddas · 17/02/2010 22:15

pavlov, i see your problem, my step brother is in the legal profession(not sure if lawyer) and I know he had to put in some very very long days whilst completing his training contract. But once that finished the hours have become more sensible and his pay is ridiculous!! Although he does work in London which helps the pay!

jasper · 17/02/2010 22:20

I became a dentist as a mature student.

It was far and away the best decision I have ever made.Sometimes I think it is the ONLY good major decision I have ever made

I thank my lucky stars every single day

MarionCole · 17/02/2010 22:21

How old were you jasper? How long did you have to train?

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:24

eddas there is work here. I have looked into it and been told that they love working family people who are over 30 retraining here (devon) as it means they are more likely tied to the area and will not bugger off to london at the first opportunity of a pay rise, not to mention life experience (a bonus rather than a real reason i would say!). I can do a conversion degree, and then look for training with sponsorship/bursaries etc. But i am the main earner (only currently), and have always been.

I had a court case today against my builder. I felt so at home walking into the court building, and right into the court hearing, i felt homesick when i sat in court. I missed it. I have done a lot of court work with my job and have always loved it, and for years have toyed with the idea of being a lawyer, have done things, so many things that demonstrate my passion for this area without even knowing it, my friends have said more and more over the years how i should be a lawyer, you know in jest...they don't know i really want to be one, we joke about it, as my character apparantly lends itself to being one . I sat there, in court, and wished i could do this as my career (i am representing me and my DH myself)

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:25

Yes Jasper i am intrigued too, a lengthy training isn't it? What barriers (if any) did you have to overcome? And how?

OP posts:
jasper · 17/02/2010 22:30

Marion /Pavlov do you mind if I start a tangential chat thread?

MarionCole · 17/02/2010 22:31

I am also going through a phase of thinking that I have never really contributed to society. I feel the need to do something worthy! Today I decided I wanted to be a speech therapist. I have no experience of speech therapy, I just came across it for some reason and thought "that would be interesting".

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:31

of course not jasper! I might even post on it

OP posts:
DecorHate · 17/02/2010 22:32

Pavlov, that's interesting as law is one if the things I have contemplated doing!

I have dealt with legal stuff in my last job and really enjoyed that aspect. I wouldn't have had the confidence to do a law degree when I was younger as I was too shy.

I do know a few people who manage to work fairly flexibly in law and combine it with family life but I think they did their degrees when they were younger... I also know of someone who has started doing a law degree who left school without any qualifications, comes from a background which is not supportive of educating women and has several children. I am in awe if her determination...

MarionCole · 17/02/2010 22:33

Last week I wanted to be a midwife (a non-starter, I can't deal with blood).

Last month a primary school teacher.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:33

marion avoid doing something for society, you won't be thanked! Seriously, a speech therapist would be great, is that related at all to what you do now?

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Eddas · 17/02/2010 22:34

could you not look at starting the degree and hopefully once that has begun dh will have another job so there'll be less emphasis on you as the only earner? I know that's simplistic but you sound so enthusiastic about becoming a lawyer that I think you should do it.

My friends dh left school with no qualifications, worked for safeway and hated it. He decided he wanted to do a law degree so begun going to night college to do his GCSE's, then did his a-levels and is now in his 2nd year of his degree. He is lucky that his parents are very well off and basically support him, his wife and their 2 dc, he is 33 and i'm so happy for him that he is doing what he wants to.

But, inevitably it comes back to money again. If you can work out anyway at all of getting there then you must. We only live once and you don't want to look back and wish you'd done it

MarionCole · 17/02/2010 22:34

Absolutely not at all pav! I'm an accountant. I did do a languages degree though and was fascinated with linguistics.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:36

decor its the training and income reduction that is the issue for me. I would need to quit my job and restart realistically. I could attempt while working part time, but would push myself beyond the reasonable to do that, if i was without children, i would do it without question, but not now. I just can't do it to them. So perhaps that in itself means i am not determined to enter the world of law.

OP posts:
jasper · 17/02/2010 22:37

off to post on chat - Pavlov I EXPECT you to post on it !

I don't really want my life story on here forever, hence chat !

Eddas · 17/02/2010 22:37

OMG marioncole you sound just like me I go through all sorts of different careers but none of them last longer than a few days, all in my head of course I think I may have to resign myself to the dulldrums of numberwork forever!

DecorHate · 17/02/2010 22:37

Marion, I am like that - keep seeing things that would be interesting but then ask myself if I want to still be doing that on 20 years! Or else they are things that are not compatible at all with family life...

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:42

eddas, i would need to leave work. I simply cannot do it part time. I need to do one year conversion degree, full time, to convert my degree into a law degree which i have to pay for in full. Then, I need to do another course to train as barrister/solicitor (can get funding for this, possibly, but not much, but only course fees, and perhaps a little towards living expenses, but probably not even that), and once i have done that, i need to work for a company as a trainee (and i think no pay, or minimum bursary)for x amount of time (a year i think), so it will take me at least 3 years full time studying to do it. Then i would not be able to walk into a job and say 'hi, i am newly qualified as a barrister/solicitor, and i would like to work xyz hours, if you don't mind' i would have to work my absolute bloody ass off. And if i reached this point, this working my ass off point even 5 years ago, i would be there now. But i did not know then. Not really, not that I could do it. Now i beleive. But it slipped through my fingers.

OP posts:
MarionCole · 17/02/2010 22:49

Have you looked at Legal Executive routes pav? I don't know much about them, but I know of a few lawyers who have gone through this route.

Eddas · 17/02/2010 22:51

it hasn't slipped through your fingers yet. You know exactly what needs to be done to get where you want to be. Now you just need to figure out a way to get there.

Have you applied to any uni's yet? if you did get a place for say sept and then couldn't take it up could it be deferred? Would you have to pay as soon as you were accepted onto the course?

Do you know how much the studying would cost?

Have you worked out how much money you need to keep family life going(mortgage/bills etc)?

Do you have anyone that would lend you money to do the degree?

What benefits would you get if you don't work?

If dh was able to get a job soon would that help financially or is your salary crucial to living day to day?

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:57

eddas it would cost £ks. I earn above average wage for my area (devon). I would lose significantly more than i would gain in credits (i know that as about to cut hours back when i return from ML and DH is not working yet). I cannot ask anyone for help, as my inheritance from my mum went on paying off some of my student debts which i should have stuck my fingers up to (not as much money as my mum was worth).

However marion, i have not ever considered that, not really! I am intrigued, and £5k is doable in 4 years i could make that work. But i am already concerned about the number of grammatical errors on that page...

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 17/02/2010 22:59

i have worked it all out. When i am bored at work (when not on ML!) i sit there and work it out, i sit and live in dream land and think about it.

OP posts:
AvengingGerbil · 17/02/2010 23:00

Pavlov,

I'm doing it. At least, I've done the conversion course and now I'm doing the Legal Practice Course. I will be 45 when I'm done and just have to have faith that I will be hireable at the end. I'm doing it part-time and it IS very expensive.

Have you looked into the Open University's law courses? You can do the conversion course with them at a more sedate pace than at most of the law schools - and it spreads the cost out.

I took the view that I could sit around wishing I'd tried, or I could make a start. See where it gets you - if I start thinking about the length of time it's taking and the (un)likelihood of anyone giving a training contract to a fat, forty-five year old who has been out of the full-time workplace for ten years, I start to gibber like a banana-deprived monkey. But it's better than sitting about wistfully or resentfully wondering what if...

It IS hard work to fit in around family/work and so forth, but it is do-able - you don't have to give up work to do the courses part time, and training contracts (assuming you get one) are paid...

Good luck.

fanjolina · 17/02/2010 23:02

Pavlov - crashing thread to say I hope that you nail that bastard builder of yours!!

Am pleased you are enjoying your day in court with him, so to speak.

And follow your dreams. You can make it happen. Don't think about the hurdles. Sit down and figure out how to do it. It's time to put you first in life, love.

ThatVikRinA22 · 17/02/2010 23:05

im 38 in a few days, married young and had kids young, drifted from part time job to part time job in anything from checkout operator to clerical.

ive just been accepted into the police. im scared to death, nervous but excited that finally i can start a career, say "im a xxxxx" something. rather than im "just a xxxxxx". i just hope to god i can cut it.