Bullying

[madamim]

Hi this is going tobe really long so I apologise.

I work in a very well known convienence store.We have these progress sheets while we are training, I have received very little training.When I started there 17 weeks ago for the first 3 weeks I had all 3 which meant above standard.They havent filled my progress sheet in since the third week, they decided to fill it in saturday just gone, but only up to week 8.Suddenly now I am having 1 for attitude and 1 for job performance.1 means it is below standard.

My manager said I have had 1 for attitude because I am not a team player, I told her I was and will help out as much as I can, my only beef is that I will not clean by the bakery,in the beginning it was only lft in a mess now and again but no its every week.And because I speak up if I believe something is unfair that is showing a bad attitude.

My performance is being marked 1, she says because I stand with my hands on my hips, which I wasnt aware I did.she says because of this I am being rude to customers, I have never had a complaint made against me, I asked if there had been any complaints and she said no.Apparently she can tell all this through watching the cameras, she has never worked a shift with me.

She has not approached me about about these problems I had togo to her, and she wasnt interested in what I had to say.At the start of december I said I wont be available for training due to xmas coming up, I only work a saturday and sunday night.The trainer hasnt had a problem and she said they havent got time this month to train me.She is saying I am refusing training which I'm not.

I really dont know what todo, its asthough she is making a bee-line for me, which I dont understand.With regards to customers I treat them how I would like tobe treated, the cameras have no sound, so I said to her how do you know I'm being rude and she said because of my body language.I dont know whether to go on the sick or not till it blows over.We are supposed to have finished training by the 18 week, but they have extended my probabtion, which I think they have only done to cover the xmas period, so they can get rid of me afterwards, so her son, who conviently has started to be training up, he turns 18 after xmas which allows him to go on the tills.She has also picked on other members of staff and swears at them by the counter infront of customers.

Thanks if you've read all of this x

also they didnt inform me that they've extended my probation I found out from another member of staff

Are you a member of a union? If so, go to speak to your rep as a first step.

If not, go to HR and make the following points:

(1) You were not formally notified that your probation had been extended (that was unprofessional of them, but try not to be the one to say so first).

(2) You did not find out the reasons for your performance grades from your manager until you went to her (again, she failed to notify you).

(3) Your manager states that she has marked you on your attitude to customers without witnessing it herself (that is: she only has the cameras to go on, whereas if she was really concerned, surely she would go down to witness things for herself?). Bring up the point that she said you had never had a complaint against you.

Don't, whatever you do, start talking about your suspicions about the manager's son; that kind of accusation could, unfortunately, make you look unprofessional, and will work against you.

I'm not sure what to do about cleaning by the bakery. Maybe you will have to offer to volunteer to clean there, to show your good will? If your manager did not accept such a gesture of goodwill, she could end up on the defensive? Make sure your voluntary offer (offered as a compromise, "to show my good will", something like that) is witnessed, by HR if possible.

Hope this helps.

What do you want to achieve madamim? Do you want to change the behaviour of your manager towards you? Do you think that's realistic or not?

They can easily get rid of you regardless of whether your probation has been extended as you've been there less than a year, but I agree if your probation is to be extended a proper procedure should be followed with appropriate notification of the extension together with details of why it's been extended.

I definitely don't think you should 'go on the sick' (I'm assuming you're not genuinely ill?) until it 'blows over'. I can't imagine that will improve your manager's attitude towards you.

I'm also not sure running to HR complaining about your manager is going to help if what you want is to improve the working relationship between the two of you. I think the best first step is to request a meeting with your manager and raise all these points with her. Not the stuff about her son (although that does sound fairly plausible), but request proper notification of your probation extension together with reasons why. Also raise the issues about your performance, say you are keen to improve and demonstrate your commitment so would appreciate spending some time with her on a shift to better understand what she wants from you. Say that you are concerned that there is a lack of communication between you which you would like to address.

Make a note of her response to all these things, then write up the meeting afterwards. See what happens and then if necessary you can take it further with HR or whatever the procedure is where you are. You will have made every attempt to understand where your manager thinks you are going wrong and solve the problem with your manager directly first and will have evidence of having done that. She won't be able to complain that you've gone behind her back without speaking to her first.

Its sounds you are not geting on with your manager, so you better go and find new job, it will never work.