Just made the dreaded decision.....

[juicychops]

Going back to work
as you can see i am sad about this. But we just cant live off just my dps wage and no matter how much i think, i just cant find anything to do from home that is guarenteed a decent amount of money each month. I don't have to inform work until October so i have a few months to get ds name down on the waiting list of some nurseries. I feel so shit about having to do this. I so desperately want to be a SAHM. Plus, my job is up London so takes 1 hour 40 mins each way and costs £180 per month!! Hopefully after 6 months or so i can get something closer to home. I feel like im gunna miss out on everything my ds does and learns

anyone got anything to cheer me up?

Ooops, prob should of gone in the other category!!

why not look for something closer to home now!

Cos ive got to get ds into a nursery first. I wouldn't be able to get him in a nursery and then that very same day start a new job cos it just would never work out like that. So it would either be start a new job but have no one to look after ds, or put ds in a nursery without having a to pya for it. At least this way once ds is in a nursery i can go back to work as soon as i want and be able to start earning money straight away to pay for the nursery. Then once he is settled in nursery i can then look for something closer to home whilst earning at the same time

Have you worked out how much you actually need to live on. How bout doing what I did and go back part time. I work 5 mornings and ds goes to nursery. I make enough to cover his nursery and a bit left over. I don't have travelling costs and cos I only earn part time wages - my tax and ni is way low!
You can also get £217 a month tax and ni free to pay for nursery.
If you loked for a job now - most employers wouldn't expect you to start for a month anyway.

Im not allowed to go back part time as it is a full time position and cant be cut down any more than maybe start half hour later and leave an hour earlier. Plus even with less tax and ni i doubt i would take home enough to make it worth while as travel would still be £180 per month regardless of how many hours i work

Sorry - I meant part time closer to home in a new job.

I can try and cheer you up

I had not choice but to go back to work (admittedly it was parttime) when dd was 3mths. I probably felt all the feelings you are feeling now, angry, sad, jealous, bitter, scared stiff etc etc

I couldn't believe how easy i found it, i was starting a brand new job, and i just settled in, even on the first day i felt guilty at the end of it that i hadn't thought an enormous amount about dd, i'd just been concentrating so hard on learning the ropes. Now i feel lucky to have my job as its the one place i can go and not be a "mum" i'm just me, laugh and joke with colleagues like my old self. I have a friend who can't go back to work and is single parent and she says she envies me cos she never gets that time out from being a parent.

I know i know, its different for me cos i'm only parttime, but hopefully you will be able to feel some of the benefits also. I wish you luck in finding a new job closer to home, hopefully that would help a lot! and maybe with the reduction of travel costs you could then consider shorter hours.

It will all work out i'm sure!