Feeling so torn

[Bagabee]

Any advice welcome! I'm on maternity leave with baby number one. I love my job and know I'd regret giving it up. Trouble is, it's a two-hour round commute each way (same for my DP). I can work part-time when I return but don't want to be so far away from my little one on those days, or to miss putting them to bed on those nights. Also suspect would be too exhausted to enjoy life or work! We're considering renting closer to our work in the short-term, so we can both have maximum time with our little 'un when not working. But, we've made some amazing friends where we currently live, it's a beautiful part of the world and we have a great quality of life (apart from the commute!). Any thoughts?! x

Do you have no flexible working option at all in your current job? It does sound like it will be very hard if there is no flexibility + a long commute for both you and your partner. Lots of people do do it, but personally, I think I would find it very hard...

Not really - choice is between moving closer to work or staying put and finding a new job. Wouldn't do that commute with a one year old left back at home. Trouble is, love current job, but also where we live and local friends! Argh - something's got to give. Oh well, we're keeping thinking - thanks for your post.

i think that you should start seriously investigating local jobs and compare poss loss of salary vs commuting costs and extra childcare. seriously it will be time for school before you know it and you would then face a whole host of difficult decisons then if you rent now.

with kids, i decided that we could not both commute- what happens on disaster day when the lines go down and no route home? stressful enough- no fun if baby is sitting at nursery at 6 o'clock and you are still hours away.

i work 20 mins drive away, i probably earn 10-15k less than in london, but all of that extra would be taxed at 40% then deduct £6k out of what is left for fares and another couple of grand for extra childcare- really i am no worse off.

if all else is equal and local schools are good, stay where you are investigate jobs nearer home. Its great that you love your job- will you still feel the same in a years time if the job has made you sacrifice all the rest?